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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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MIL and buying things
my MIL lives out of state and the other day she wrote me an email asking what theme we're doing in the nursery and if there's anything that i dont like in a baby's room. apparently, she keeps seeing so many cute things for girls' rooms and she wants to buy things cause she never had the opportunity (she has 2 sons). so i wrote back saying im not really doing a theme and that im going to buy things little by little as i see them once the room is painted so i can get a full idea of how everything will look. she wrote back saying it's great to do things little by little, blah blah.
well now she just wrote on my wall on fb asking what colors the baby's room is gonna be. i have a feeling she's asking cause she wants to buy things for the nursery. i really dont want her buying anything to decorate the room cause we have completely opposite tastes and she really has no idea what i've been looking at. i dont care if she buys things for the baby (clothing, toys, etc...) but i dont want her buying room accessories. how do i go about conveying that to her without being mean?
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Posted 4/3/11 8:13 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
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happychelle
LIF Infant
Member since 9/10 264 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: MIL and buying things
Maybe just be honest with her and tell her exactly that. Just say that you are still undecided on the colors and overall "look" of the nursery, and just suggest that she gets clothes and toys for the baby instead. Tell her you would appreciate clothing, blankets, and toys moreso than nursery decor at this point.
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| Posted 4/3/11 8:16 PM |
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MrsRitaB
Love of my life! <3
Member since 4/10 4669 total posts
Name:
Ri
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Re: MIL and buying things
Posted by happychelle
Maybe just be honest with her and tell her exactly that. Just say that you are still undecided on the colors and overall "look" of the nursery, and just suggest that she gets clothes and toys for the baby instead. Tell her you would appreciate clothing, blankets, and toys moreso than nursery decor at this point.
Ita and if you don't feel comfortable have dh talk to her
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| Posted 4/3/11 8:20 PM |
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drwifettc
LIF Adult
Member since 6/10 2348 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL and buying things
So my MIL loves to buy things for the baby, for me, for anyone really. She only has boys as well and this is her first grandchild so she just shops all the time. Honestly, it's a little crazy and overkill sometimes, but I really appreciate it since money is tight on our end. She usually asks me what I'm looking at or why my ideas are like your MIL is and what I try to do is be really specific and send her the exact things I'm looking at. She usually offers to just buy that or she'll look for something similar, etc.
If you don't have any idea what you are doing nursery wise or it's not something you want her purchasing things for I'd say something along the lines of not even being there yet or that you are just concentrating on clothes or must have baby gear items, like strollers or swings etc.
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| Posted 4/3/11 8:23 PM |
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Ever-After
Goals w/o plans r just wishes
Member since 6/09 2585 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: MIL and buying things
Posted by happychelle
Maybe just be honest with her and tell her exactly that. Just say that you are still undecided on the colors and overall "look" of the nursery, and just suggest that she gets clothes and toys for the baby instead. Tell her you would appreciate clothing, blankets, and toys moreso than nursery decor at this point.
Yep, i definitely agree with this. That's so sweet of your MIL to want to get things for the baby! I'm sure it makes her happy and excited to do, so definitely suggest things she can get. If you don't want things for the room, as PP said - just tell her that you're undecided as of now, but that toys, clothes, blankets, ect would be awesome
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| Posted 4/3/11 8:23 PM |
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MichLiz213
Life is Good!
Member since 7/07 7979 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL and buying things
Every time we go to our ILs house I get a wrapped present for the baby. She was buying so much I finally just told her to slow down. Tell her you haven't thought that far ahead yet and you'll let her know once you decide. Have you registered yet?
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| Posted 4/3/11 8:25 PM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL and buying things
Posted by drwifettc
So my MIL loves to buy things for the baby, for me, for anyone really. She only has boys as well and this is her first grandchild so she just shops all the time. Honestly, it's a little crazy and overkill sometimes, but I really appreciate it since money is tight on our end. She usually asks me what I'm looking at or why my ideas are like your MIL is and what I try to do is be really specific and send her the exact things I'm looking at. She usually offers to just buy that or she'll look for something similar, etc.
If you don't have any idea what you are doing nursery wise or it's not something you want her purchasing things for I'd say something along the lines of not even being there yet or that you are just concentrating on clothes or must have baby gear items, like strollers or swings etc.
my MIL loves buying things too for everyone! but she always buys stuffs that she likes. it gets ridiculous at Christmas. my DH has gotten rid of every single item of clothing he's received from his mom cause she doesnt listen when he tells her what he likes lol.
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| Posted 4/3/11 8:30 PM |
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M514
Hi
Member since 8/10 6011 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL and buying things
Posted by MichLiz213
Every time we go to our ILs house I get a wrapped present for the baby. She was buying so much I finally just told her to slow down. Tell her you haven't thought that far ahead yet and you'll let her know once you decide. Have you registered yet?
yes, we've registered and she knows that but she hasn't bought anything from our registry yet. she's just gonna buy whatever she likes and maybe a couple items from the registery cause that's how she is.
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| Posted 4/3/11 8:32 PM |
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drwifettc
LIF Adult
Member since 6/10 2348 total posts
Name:
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Re: MIL and buying things
Posted by M514
Posted by drwifettc
So my MIL loves to buy things for the baby, for me, for anyone really. She only has boys as well and this is her first grandchild so she just shops all the time. Honestly, it's a little crazy and overkill sometimes, but I really appreciate it since money is tight on our end. She usually asks me what I'm looking at or why my ideas are like your MIL is and what I try to do is be really specific and send her the exact things I'm looking at. She usually offers to just buy that or she'll look for something similar, etc.
If you don't have any idea what you are doing nursery wise or it's not something you want her purchasing things for I'd say something along the lines of not even being there yet or that you are just concentrating on clothes or must have baby gear items, like strollers or swings etc.
my MIL loves buying things too for everyone! but she always buys stuffs that she likes. it gets ridiculous at Christmas. my DH has gotten rid of every single item of clothing he's received from his mom cause she doesnt listen when he tells her what he likes lol.
Hahaha, my MIL too! For Christmas she actually asks for very specific lists, the first year we were married and asked for mine, I didn't want to send one and finally I just send some vague list like makeup, clothes, etc and she sent it back to me, saying she needed stores, websites, colors, etc. So luckily for Christmas it's all very much what we want totally anti climatic though.
She does however do alot of sale shopping and a ton of that stuff goes straight to goodwill.
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| Posted 4/3/11 8:35 PM |
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LotsaLuv
Us
Member since 6/10 4094 total posts
Name:
F
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Re: MIL and buying things
I would prob just ask her what she had in mind because you have stuff already picked out for the room and don't want to clutter the walls etc...
MIL saw a bouncer on sale before I registered and called me to ask if she should buy it, I told her very nicely that I appreciate the gesture but that type of stuff I wanted to pick out myself, she totally understood.
Honesty is the best policy it's just all how you word it.
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| Posted 4/3/11 8:53 PM |
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windest
LIF Adult
Member since 8/10 1064 total posts
Name:
Windy
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Re: MIL and buying things
Maybe send her some pictures of things you are looking at or like?
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| Posted 4/3/11 9:20 PM |
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Re: MIL and buying things
GOOD LUCK!!! In laws are so difficult. My MIL got us our glider, but also got me blue bibs that say I Love Daddy, and a very boyish looking onesie with some saying about grandparents...WE ARE HAVING A GIRL!
When we 1st told her we were having a girl, she went on to tell me how great I will feel one day if I have a boy, and how much better boys are to raise (she has 2 of each). I think she is in denial about getting a grandaughter and not a grandson.
My husbands gradmother made us a quilt that she assumes I will hang on the nursery wall that has NOTHING to do with the theme for the nursery
I think that you may just have to let her buy you what she wants and just not use it or secretly return it. Maybe then she will get the hint!
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| Posted 4/3/11 10:10 PM |
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DanandNette
Love my baby boy!
Member since 9/08 2830 total posts
Name:
Jennette
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Re: MIL and buying things
Could you pick something out in your shopping trips and suggest it to her? like if you see a lamp or curtain rods and ask her if she'd like to buy them?
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| Posted 4/3/11 10:45 PM |
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