Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

not sure I feel the urge to "keep up" more than I feel badly sometimes that Luce will miss out on certain things...sometimes b/c of need, and other times b/c of the fact that though certain things sound so nice, I don't WANT him to have everything that everyone else has (or that many people have).

for me, there has to be a line between what I *can* do for him vs. what I *will* do for him.

it does remind me that he will come home and say "mami, Billy has x, y, and z...or mami, Sally's party is going to be at LMNOP...why can't I have that?

I am not looking forward to telling him "b/c I said so" or b/c "that is not what mami wants for you".

but I am an extremely practical person. there are certain things I will spend on but I do it with a REASON. not b/c of a brand or so I can have the most $$ stuff.

take my peg perego stroller I bought it b/c it was light enough for my MIL (aka my FREE daycare) to use when she wants to take him out...so the thousands I am saving there balances out the slightly elevated price of the cost of a light weight aluminium stroller.

I just know that how I want to raise him will not always gel with what others are doing and what he wants...but at the end of the day, that is OK with me.

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

Posted by Janice

Not really with parenting, but the Fashion and Beauty board! OMG

I have soooooooo many questions for the big spenders!

How many sundresses does one person need?
If you buy 4 at one time, each week, do you have enough days in a week to really wear them all? Do you do outfit changes mid day?
How many pairs of black boots does a person need? Is it just me that has a favorite pair anyway and wears those all the time, or do you really rotate out 5 pairs.
are people really spending 200plus every 6weeks on their hair?
I could go on and on.
I find it shocking. Not in a bad way, just a way I only thought celebs lived.

But I will say, I have a friend who throws the best birthday parties ever. Josh and I look at each other when we attend a party that is less then what she puts together

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

LIF or not - my kids will have what they need.

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

Posted by smdl

Posted by Janice

Not really with parenting, but the Fashion and Beauty board! OMG

I have soooooooo many questions for the big spenders!

How many sundresses does one person need?
If you buy 4 at one time, each week, do you have enough days in a week to really wear them all? Do you do outfit changes mid day?
How many pairs of black boots does a person need? Is it just me that has a favorite pair anyway and wears those all the time, or do you really rotate out 5 pairs.
are people really spending 200plus every 6weeks on their hair?
I could go on and on.
I find it shocking. Not in a bad way, just a way I only thought celebs lived.

But I will say, I have a friend who throws the best birthday parties ever. Josh and I look at each other when we attend a party that is less then what she puts together

I personally think nothing of someone spending $200 on a haircut. I used to spend that much or more when I had my hair colored.

I think as long as people have the means, I really don't care if they have 50 pairs of shoes, throw extravagant parties or how many outfits their kid has.

What works for one person may not for another.

I guess I am not shocked because this is how I lived before I was a mom and worked only PT. I did not buy those things to impress anyone or keeping up with the Joneses.

As long as everyone is happy.... I say....who cares!

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

I don't think I have felt this way so much on Parenting but I did feel this way a lot on LIF right after I got married. My husband and I were (and still are) renting at the time as we didn't have enough money for a house. I was watching the girls I got married with buy homes, have babies, while we were financially struggling. It was hard, I always felt as if we weren't up to par. Fast forward to when I got pregnant with Liam and found out he was sick, I was once again jealous of all the girls I was pregnant with (who were quite wonderful to me) that they were able to enjoy their pregnancies.

Now with Julia, we are still renting, in a non-descript area of Brooklyn (we had to leave our more "trendier" area cause it was too hard after Liam died) and I am one happy mommy.

I have decided to really enjoy what we do have: a beautiful, happy and healthy daughter in one of the greatest cities in the world. I cannot wait to enjoy the city and the island and all the things it has to offer this summer. And most of them are free activities!!

Okay this turned into a soapbox post but I have been thinking about it for a long time. The truth of the matter is, we are all different and unique moms with different ways of caring for and enjoying our children. Some of us are very thrifty and others are over the top!! And you know what, that is FINE!! We all learn from each other!! I personally am thrifty for some things ( I have to be), but I definitely have my lttle things in which I go over the top. I think it is all part of being a mommy!!!

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

I really do not find that there is a disparity between the things on LIF and the people I meet in real life. Most of the things i have encountered on LIF are things also being done by non-LIF friends.

As far as keeping up with the Joneses goes, I never do things to keep up with the Joneses. If I see something, and I like it and have the means then I will get/do it. There are many things that people like here on LIF that I do not like and thus would not do.

But...I do spend a lot of money on clothes (for me and kids), my hair etc. I do it because I like to and always have and because I can. That being said I shop at places I can afford - I am not sitting at the front row of fashion weeks shows or anything

I think it is important for everyone to know their "limit".

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

Posted by Janice

Posted by smdl

Posted by Janice

Not really with parenting, but the Fashion and Beauty board! OMG

I have soooooooo many questions for the big spenders!

How many sundresses does one person need?
If you buy 4 at one time, each week, do you have enough days in a week to really wear them all? Do you do outfit changes mid day?
How many pairs of black boots does a person need? Is it just me that has a favorite pair anyway and wears those all the time, or do you really rotate out 5 pairs.
are people really spending 200plus every 6weeks on their hair?
I could go on and on.
I find it shocking. Not in a bad way, just a way I only thought celebs lived.

But I will say, I have a friend who throws the best birthday parties ever. Josh and I look at each other when we attend a party that is less then what she puts together

I personally think nothing of someone spending $200 on a haircut. I used to spend that much or more when I had my hair colored.

I think as long as people have the means, I really don't care if they have 50 pairs of shoes, throw extravagant parties or how many outfits their kid has.

What works for one person may not for another.

I guess I am not shocked because this is how I lived before I was a mom and worked only PT. I did not buy those things to impress anyone or keeping up with the Joneses.

As long as everyone is happy.... I say....who cares!

i get all that.

but the number of things.
where does it all go?? are things really worn?
so much stuff! I hate stuff. I can't imagine where all those shoes go unless you have a mariah carey closet/room.

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

I gained so much knowledge from LIW while planning my wedding, the ideas I got were fabulous although my friends and I did alot ourselves.
Then I moved on to here and the preggo board was a lifesaver as well as parenting. I don't really try and keep up with anyone cause my budget won't allow it but I do what I can. I think I pulled off DS's Christening & 1st B-day pretty darn good! Again, I get so much advice/info/ and ideas from the ladies on here and then I can kinda "tweek" to what I can afford & do!!

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

I would have never know about cake smashs, maternity pics or Sophie without these boards

and I have since done all three! lol

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

Posted by stickydust

Posted by Janice


i get all that.

but the number of things.
where does it all go?? are things really worn?
so much stuff! I hate stuff. I can't imagine where all those shoes go unless you have a mariah carey closet/room.

I am one of these people - even though I really do not post all the stuff I buy on F&B. I do shop quite a bit. That being said I am not a pack rat and I hate clutter. I go through all my stuff every 6 months and get rid of anything I have not used in a year.

I do wear everything I buy (for the most part ). The thing is we all have different interests. I love fashion, always have. I work from home and take care of 2 small children everyday. Putting together a cute outfit, even if no one else will see it that day - makes ME feel more human and like part of ME is still here and not just a mommy. I enjoy it and it makes me feel good.

To each his own.

Message edited 5/27/2010 11:33:56 AM.

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

I do and buy what I want and what I can afford. I am not all about "Keeping up with Jones". I could care less what others do.

I do get good advice and ideas on here and I like that people share things they are doing, things they bought that their kids like and deals they have found. I choose what I want to buy or do based on what I can afford and what works best for us.

Message edited 5/27/2010 11:29:27 AM.

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

I never feel a need to keep up with anyone - My own expectations for myself are high enough - forget trying to compete w/ other people - I'd be in a padded room !!!

My Dad told me a long time ago, no matter how hard you work, how far you get, how much money you make, what you drive, how thin you are - etc etc - there is ALWAYS someone, somewhere who has more, does more, looks better etc. - It's just the reality of life. You need to be happy with who you are, what you have acomplished, and you need to be able to be ok w/ the person in the mirror -

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

I think the only thing I have done in this aspect is newborn (or in my case- 8 week) pictures and I do have a cake smash shoot scheduled for DD. I think they are awesome memories to have and I have no regrets.

In terms of everything else- no I don't feel that way at all. I do things my own way and feel confident that I do a good job.

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

I think these boards are an invaluable resource for advice, ideas, support and creativity...and I have used it for all of those.

I can see however, that there often seems to be a "keeping up" mentality or a need to have the BEST of the BEST, or better than the rest attitude....My child DOES have a Britax car seat - why? Because I did my research on safety, yes, but mainly because it was on CLEARANCE for like 1/2 price!!! We have a McClaren stroller...because i got a GREAT DEAL ON EBAY, and reviews (on and off this site) were great, and I wanted a more comfortable stroller for DD.

I do not drive an expensive car, I do not own my own home, I do not pay for professional photo shoots, my diaper bag when DD was an infant was a no-name from Babies R Us and is now a no-name handmade patchwork style given to me as a gift. My child has everything she neds, and then some, and I bargain hunt, shop yard sales, use coupons, etc. We did not do a cake smash for any of her birthdays and I MADE her cake last year, and I will likely do it again this year (maybe with a friend's help). Every birthday party we have includes children and our family...there are tons of kid friendly things, and alcohol for the adults, and yes, some family members who smoke (they do go away from the kids).

And I don't think that DD will grow up thinking "why don't have I this" or "why can't we do this" because I didn't do something the masses do on LIF. If she says those things, which she likely will, it's because EVERY kid says them...and hopefully, by saving on not doing every little thing, we'll be able to give her more lasting things...like memories of great family vactions, or trips to see family out of state, or really cool experiences she can brag about to all her friends.

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

I think I felt this way when I was planning my wedding. Not now though.

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

Posted by Eireann

Yeah, sometimes I do start to think that LIF is the whole world. When I feel like, 'Oh, geez, should I be doing that?' I realize that NO ONE in my real life does most of it!

Here are some things I've truly never heard of anywhere but on here:
Registering for a 2nd, 3rd, etc. child
Sprinkles
Cake smash photo shoots
High end professional kiddie pictures
Maternity photo shoots
and I'm sure I can come up with several more.

As a result though, I'm looking into maternity pictures.

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

Posted by sleepie76

Before coming on here I had never heard of :

-Professional photo shoots for christening, birthdays
-spending insane amount on cakes & cupcakes
-maternity photo shoots
-cake smash

Quite honestly, I've lived on Long Island my entire life and never met anyone in real life that did these things.

I dont get caught up in it. Spending $3k on a 1st birthday party doesn't guarantee a good time. Also, just because someone spends $$$ on a birthday party doesn't necessarily mean they have a lot of money.
I'll compare it to this....I'm surrounded by people at work that are all leasing beautiful, brand new cars. By Thursday every week they are broke.
But from the outside they look well off.

My husband and I both make nice salaries.
DD first birthday party will be in the backyard with food, alcohol (gasp), I will be the photographer. My husband will be the cook. There will be no professional entertainment, you will have to entertain yourself.
Call me trashy but this is how we roll. I'm always told we throw the best parties.
I'll probably rent a tent & chairs, that will be the extent of my splurge.

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

I don't feel the need to keep up with the Jones'. I do what I can do. Sometimes it's more. Sometimes it's less. I never compare to what other people are doing, because honestly, I just don't care.

I get so many great ideas from all of the creative moms on here - and will pick their brains at any time. I will incorporate whatever I can.

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'

I do what I can afford.
I don't have an expensive purse or get my nails done on a regular basis. I cringe when I pay full price for DS's clothes... the most expensive place I shop for him at is Old Navy.
I do wish I could have done a prof. photo shoot when DS was born though.

Re: LIF & Keeping up with the Jones'