Keeping DC up until they drop?

Anyone have such a bad sleeper that they just keep DC up as late as they want? I think this is crazy but I've tried everything with DD. She cries for about 40mins every night & it's heartbreaking! I don't know what else to do. My mother keeps saying that's what she did with me & it was the greatest thing because she never had to fight. She would just stay up all night & sleep late. It sounds easy but then we wouldn't be able to do anything on a "normal" schedule (like library classes or play dates.) Just wondering if anyone does this & if it works for you.

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

This is just me but NO way would I ever do such a thing. That is a habit I would not want to get my baby use to. I would rather deal with the crying, try everything else under the sun, do CIO, etc............ANYTHING..............then let them stay up until whenever they wanted. Because honestly, that's something you're going to be dealing with for a long time to come and once you start habits like that, they are so hard to break later.

I don't know how old you're LO is but at a few weeks old it's not like I was going crazy with routines and bedtimes, I followed her lead and there were nights I was up with her a lot and slept in late like you describe. But by 8 weeks she started STTN for looong stretches and once she did, we started creating routines that would support that.

As she got older she went through phases where she didn't want to go to bed or had trouble falling asleep and we just had to change our approach. There were some nights where I would be in her room rubbing her back for 2 hrs and she would cry on and off but she was STAYING in that crib. No way she was coming out of that room to be with us all night until she crashed.

Bedtime was 8pm. Period. I didn't care if she cried and pitched a fit, she stayed in her room. There was no coming out, staying with us, and staying up all night. When she was young we'd hold her and rock her if need be but we ALWAYS stayed in her room. Once she was a few months old, we would soothe her and stay with her but she HAD to stay in the crib. She needed to learn good sleep habits and us holding her constantly or letting her come out and stay up with us in the den was not creating a good habit. It honestly never took long for her to "get it". It was usually just a few days of torture and she would fall back into a good routine.

Again, this is just how I feel about it but I think EVERY baby/child NEEDS a bedtime. I don't believe in letting your LO call the shots and stay up until whenever they want. I just think it's a terrible habit and I've known so many people over the years who did this and ended up with a 4,5,6,7 year old who still refuses to go to bed, stays up until whenever, and then is all out of whack.

I *personally* feel you need to create routines and structure that support a healthy bedtime. It's essential for your sanity and their well being. I know some will disagree but that's what has worked for us for 4.5 yrs with our DD. Since a few months old she's been in bed, asleep, at 8 and sleeps at least 12 hrs. a night. She's a good sleeper which helps but being fairly strict with routines and bedtimes and how we handle her at night really created the long term good sleeping habits with her.

Good luck!!!

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

Nope never...

My SIL did this and her son was up to 11 pm every night and had to fall asleep on the couch or cuddled with her in bed until he fall asleep and she would sneak back out!

She had a tough couple of months when he started going to school going to bed and having a routine! I think at almost 6 he can't go to sleep in the bedroom by himself!

I would get a bed time routine down to a science - the earlier the better!

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

Nope, and I would never do it. I don't know how old your DC but it will create a really bad habit. It may be fine with an infant but with a toddler, pre-schooler - no way. It think its really important to get them on a schedule early on.
A lot of time babies who won't sleep do this because they are actually over tired. What kind of naps does your LO take?

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

How old are we talking?

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

I don't think I would actually do it either, I was just wondering if anyone did & if it worked for them.
She's 20 months, we've had the same routine forever & she always fought it a little but it's getting crazy.
She usually naps from 1-3, I drive around then transfer her to her crib, I know it's a bad habit but letting her scream her head off for nap & bedtime was too unbearable.

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

Posted by Hofstra26

This is just me but NO way would I ever do such a thing. That is a habit I would not want to get my baby use to. I would rather deal with the crying, try everything else under the sun, do CIO, etc............ANYTHING..............then let them stay up until whenever they wanted. Because honestly, that's something you're going to be dealing with for a long time to come and once you start habits like that, they are so hard to break later.

I don't know how old you're LO is but at a few weeks old it's not like I was going crazy with routines and bedtimes, I followed her lead and there were nights I was up with her a lot and slept in late like you describe. But by 8 weeks she started STTN for looong stretches and once she did, we started creating routines that would support that.

As she got older she went through phases where she didn't want to go to bed or had trouble falling asleep and we just had to change our approach. There were some nights where I would be in her room rubbing her back for 2 hrs and she would cry on and off but she was STAYING in that crib. No way she was coming out of that room to be with us all night until she crashed.

Bedtime was 8pm. Period. I didn't care if she cried and pitched a fit, she stayed in her room. There was no coming out, staying with us, and staying up all night. When she was young we'd hold her and rock her if need be but we ALWAYS stayed in her room. Once she was a few months old, we would soothe her and stay with her but she HAD to stay in the crib. She needed to learn good sleep habits and us holding her constantly or letting her come out and stay up with us in the den was not creating a good habit. It honestly never took long for her to "get it". It was usually just a few days of torture and she would fall back into a good routine.

Again, this is just how I feel about it but I think EVERY baby/child NEEDS a bedtime. I don't believe in letting your LO call the shots and stay up until whenever they want. I just think it's a terrible habit and I've known so many people over the years who did this and ended up with a 4,5,6,7 year old who still refuses to go to bed, stays up until whenever, and then is all out of whack.

I *personally* feel you need to create routines and structure that support a healthy bedtime. It's essential for your sanity and their well being. I know some will disagree but that's what has worked for us for 4.5 yrs with our DD. Since a few months old she's been in bed, asleep, at 8 and sleeps at least 12 hrs. a night. She's a good sleeper which helps but being fairly strict with routines and bedtimes and how we handle her at night really created the long term good sleeping habits with her.

Good luck!!!

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

No way! My Ex-SIL did this with her kids. They'd be up until well after midnight most nights. Then get up at 2 in the afternoon. And they never slept in their rooms. Hard habit to break when they went to preschool and HAD to go to bed early. They still stay up way to late IMO but not my kids, not my problem!

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

I'm sorry, but absolutely no way would I do this. It's maladaptive IMO bc you're right- you would miss play dates, library classes etc. I have horrible sleepers too. What I do is not fight them on naps (my 10 month old only takes one a day sometimes so short too), but bed time is not negotiable.

Keeping DC up until they drop?

We pretty much let DD stay up until she passes out, but it is DH that stays with her - I need to go to sleep by 10:00! DD usually goes to sleep by 10:30, but is sometimes up until 12. She only has to wake up by 7:30 two days a week. Sometimes she cries, but I don't care - she can just take a nap when she feels like it. When she needs to get into a routine we will obviously change the routine (or lack thereof) but for now no sense in fighting her to sleep IMO.

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

I found waking DD up at a scheduled time helped with bedtime. We usually have her up by 7am and she falls asleep for the night around 8-9pm depending on when the evening nap is.

Keeping DC up until they drop?

I think it depends. I would never let them stay up until they dropped, but I would not say there is anything wrong with extending the bedtime to see. We are also having this issue and with Day Light Savings we are going to let them both stay up an extra 1-2hrs. We'll see.

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

Is she overtired? I find sleep begets sleep. I always get the screaming and getting out of bed when DS (2.5yo) doesn't take a nap because we are out for an activity, like a birthday party. (i dont mind breaking schedule every once in a while). When he gets the nap, he goes to bed at his usual time with little fuss.

I do agree, routines are important. Kids get comfort from knowing what to expect.

Eta: have you tried putting her down earlier? I found my DD had a magic window between 7-7:30pm, after that she would fight us from being overtired.

Message edited 3/14/2013 2:32:58 PM.

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

I would never do this. Creates such a bad habit that is going to stay with her for a long time. I will be honest and say I'm done by 8-830 at night. I need the kids in bed. I need to relax and spend time with DH. Plus the kids need go go to bed. It's not good for them to go to bed so late and get up at 12 noon or something like that. Alot of the play dates we do are in the morning. Later on preschool then kindergarten are in morning, so she will have to eventually get into a earlier routine. My sister kids are up so late. She gets no time to wind down from the day.

She may be overtired as well. You could be starting her sleep routine too late. Is she waking up to late in the morning. I would think most kids should be up by at least 8 to get to sleep at night better.

Message edited 3/14/2013 3:00:50 PM.

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

Keeping DC up until they drop?

My DS falls asleep on his own but it is always between 8-9. He plays and then all of a sudden he is asleep. I would never do it if he was up til 11pm. I have to get to sleep so I could never survive. But we always are up by 6 on the weekdays and 7 on weekends so DS will never be able to last til 11pm.

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

I could never do that.

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

Keeping DC up until they drop?

I guess it would depend on how late that would be. If you're talking 9 or 10 I might let it go. If it would get her to fall asleep easily and get her out of refusing bedtime it could help you. Later than that, I probably wouldn't.

My friend's DD stays up until 10 or 11 some nights but she's still up at 7am, takes one nap a day, and is a very happy kid. It works for her bc it's how she started STTN and she gets to see her more since she works FT, and it's not as if her daughter is a tired, cranky mess as a result.

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

Im super realaxed when it comes to parenting. I never held to a schedule. I never let him dictate our days. That said, Im a nightime nazi. That whole staying up late never worked for my kid. The few night a year (holidays, parties, etc) hes stayed up way past bedtime, he still wakes at his notrmal time, and then I have a crazy, cranky, crappy kid all day. I also think it will blow up in your face.

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

Not until they dropped but, there is nothing wrong with a later bed time if that works better for your child (and you of course). There are some kids that are just more night owls than others. Before my kids needed to be on an early routine they would go to bed 9:30/10 and wake up 9:30/10 - it worked GREAT for us! Before that my DS was a nightmare trying to get him to sleep. The later bedtime made for an easier bedtime AND he slept longer and later. Also it was great because he could have dinner with DH (who works late) and on the weekends we weren't always rushing home from events and parties because of an early bedtime.

And, we never missed classes or play dates etc. - these things do happen in the afternoon you know as well. In fact, DS went to preschool 12:30 in the afternoon. By the time he needed an earlier bedtime - he was ready for it and the transition really didn't take long at all.

Message edited 3/14/2013 7:42:05 PM.

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

Re: Keeping DC up until they drop?

Never, never. DD's normal bedtime is about 8:00. If I keep her up til 8:30 for whatever reason, she wakes up EARLIER the next morning. It makes no sense, but all the books tell you that the later you put them to sleep (for their own internal body clock), the worse they sleep throughout the night, and they'll wake up earlier and be crankier the next day. It's true. I'm sorry.