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Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
Just because a few threads made me think, and then I think of the unsolicited advice I have gotten so far...
What is it about having a child that makes people feel the need to unload their sagely words of wisdom on you?
what do they expect from you?
Anything from:
Daycare
Sleeping
BREAST feeding, for God's sake
Eating
Being sick
Going out for 3 seconds without - GASP - a hat
Having your child at an outdoor concert and someone repeatedly coming up to you to tell you you are detsroying your baby's ear drums (yep - that happened to me)
I mean, what do they expect? For you to say, "Wow, you know something, I have been a complete and utter moron this ENTIRE time, until you came and saved me from ruining my child completely. Thank you, THANK you, oh wise one.... (kissing and bowing at feet...)"
Seriously - WHAT is it about this???
Its one thing if maybe we were 15 years old and walking around with our kid half naked in the winter and playing with a crack pipe...
I don't get it....
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Posted 1/25/08 12:11 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Mrs-Boop
My Babies
Member since 5/05 4956 total posts
Name:
Jaime
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
Everybody in life knows better than you..didn't you know that?? Everybody needs to put their two cents in!!
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| Posted 1/25/08 12:15 PM |
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nbc188
Best friends!
Member since 12/06 23090 total posts
Name:
C
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
 It is soooo frustrating, I agree. They just like to hear themselves speak and pretend to be experts 
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| Posted 1/25/08 12:51 PM |
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
You said it in a nutshell. I have had comments made to me on most of the things on your list! 
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| Posted 1/25/08 12:53 PM |
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juanvi
Get Out!
Member since 10/06 4463 total posts
Name:
Christina
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
I totally agree with you. And not for nothing....my parents are the biggest culprits. They have something to say about everything.
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| Posted 1/25/08 12:57 PM |
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vegalady
Love my family
Member since 6/06 4546 total posts
Name:
SNV
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
i was just thinking about this to. Why do people think they have the right to give their input? I usually dont care what people say to me. i do what i want with my child and however I want. I only listen to my husband really when it comes to our parenting.
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| Posted 1/25/08 1:00 PM |
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mommy0604
My Son is my world...
Member since 10/07 3270 total posts
Name:
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
Oh Puhleez don't even get me started on this topic Liza. I hate hate hate unwanted advice. You said it all in your post. I find it funny how people that are not with your DC's 24/7 always know what's best for them and their habits as well.
I don't mind the advice actually. What ticks me off is how they react when you disagree with their advice about YOUR child. They insist they know best. What works for one's DC doesn't necessarily work for someone else's.
I admit I have given some advice to other moms but if I sense that they are not interested or they kindly disagree with me. I back off...
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| Posted 1/25/08 1:12 PM |
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MsMBV
:P
Member since 5/05 28602 total posts
Name:
Me
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
 I feel you. Welcome to my world.
My favourite was the argument I had last night (again) that the age requirements on toys are not just an arbitrary guideline
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| Posted 1/25/08 1:15 PM |
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CkGm
They get so big, so fast :(
Member since 5/05 13848 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
Posted by lipglossjunky73
I mean, what do they expect? For you to say, "Wow, you know something, I have been a complete and utter moron this ENTIRE time, until you came and saved me from ruining my child completely. Thank you, THANK you, oh wise one.... (kissing and bowing at feet...)"
Seriously - WHAT is it about this???
:
This made me pee my pants But so true- recently a woman STOPPED my DH in Costco to tell him my DD who is a year old should be wearing a hat, ummm.. indoors and it was about 60 degrees out.
He told her to mind her own damn business. I wish I had his nerve!
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| Posted 1/25/08 1:17 PM |
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2BEANS
wow time is going fast.
Member since 9/07 16106 total posts
Name:
Tina
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
today i brought my dd to my job to get my check and one of the girls was commenting on how i was putting my dd in her car seat.. "you making it too tight, you should talk to her while your doing it"... This girl doesnt even have a child who is she to say anything.. i was talking to my friend who i work with at the time about if she wanted to drive together to another co-workers funeral tonight..
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| Posted 1/25/08 1:45 PM |
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GoldenRod
10 years on LIF!
Member since 11/06 26792 total posts
Name:
Shawn
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
I think every parent has heard "advice" on several occasions..... Actually, when I know a friend or coworker who is expecting a child, I tell them "The best advice I can give you is to just nod and say 'Oh, OK' when someone gives you advice, then go home and ignore what they tell you." That's what I usually do, unless it's family. Then I straighten them out right away, since I know it will be a repeated pattern....
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| Posted 1/25/08 2:04 PM |
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ckdk
My girls
Member since 5/05 7027 total posts
Name:
Cheryl
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
I don't know why everyone gets so mad over it, just nod and ignore it or do whatever you want with it...
who really cares what other people say?
Same with the pregnancy comments, just ignore it...People are people and will always say something you don't want to hear, it's a part of life...
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| Posted 1/25/08 2:11 PM |
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ckone
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 3014 total posts
Name:
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
I just had this conversation about ten minutes ago with my friend's husband.
You should tell them that you intentially want to get your child sick because you just love being up all night, running to the doctor and ohh the whinning makes you so happy ...etc.
I HATE when people tell me that my son should have a hat on.....I know that already but unless I crazy glue the damn thing on ----- he's not wearing it.
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| Posted 1/25/08 2:12 PM |
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
Posted by ckdk
I don't know why everyone gets so mad over it, just nod and ignore it or do whatever you want with it...
who really cares what other people say?
Same with the pregnancy comments, just ignore it...People are people and will always say something you don't want to hear, it's a part of life...
Everyone reacts differently, I guess - consider yourself one of the lucky ones who takes it all in stride!
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| Posted 1/25/08 4:00 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
Posted by lipglossjunky73
What is it about having a child that makes people feel the need to unload their sagely words of wisdom on you?
what do they expect from you?
etd.
Seriously - WHAT is it about this???
From my point of view, it's because we've been through it before. I'm not running around giving stranger's advice. If someone is having a hard time with their child and I've been there (particularly on her), I offer advice.
There is not one situation that one of us is going through with our child that someone else who came before us hasn't been through. I wish I had the wisdom of the ages, without the pain of the experience. My take is those people are trying to spare you the pain part.
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| Posted 1/25/08 5:19 PM |
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by lipglossjunky73
What is it about having a child that makes people feel the need to unload their sagely words of wisdom on you?
what do they expect from you?
etd.
Seriously - WHAT is it about this???
From my point of view, it's because we've been through it before. I'm not running around giving stranger's advice. If someone is having a hard time with their child and I've been there (particularly on her), I offer advice.
There is not one situation that one of us is going through with our child that someone else who came before us hasn't been through. I wish I had the wisdom of the ages, without the pain of the experience. My take is those people are trying to spare you the pain part.
there are differnet types of advice and the way they are given - I'm talking about people that have to give their opinions that are obviously conflicting with yours, like "How could you send them to daycare," or "How could you not be BFing," or "Your kid should be wearing a hat..." things like that.
Not, "Hey, I've been there, and I know this worked for me, if you are interested..."Thats different and always well received...
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| Posted 1/25/08 6:26 PM |
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jenny
L O V E
Member since 4/06 2784 total posts
Name:
Mommy
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
My principal at school was just saying today how it's every parents right to screw up their own children!
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| Posted 1/25/08 7:01 PM |
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Gatsbygirl
Please St. Therese....
Member since 10/07 8494 total posts
Name:
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Re: Just a general vent on unwanted advice...
I agree, Liza! People need to keep their mouth shut!
I have been asked if DS is too small!?!
When I was pg the checkout lady at King Kullen asked when I was due and shook her head and said was I "ever in for it." Gee thanks
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| Posted 1/25/08 7:03 PM |
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