Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

As a FT working mom, my weekends are very precious. A weekend with no plans never means I have nothing to do. It means I finally have some time to just spend with my DH and Jake (quality family time) or it means I have time to work on the gazillion things that need to be done in the house that can never get done during the hectic weekdays.

A friend of mine and I are always trying to get together and get the kids together for a playdate. We've made plans almost every weekend for the past couple of months and they always fall through for one reason or another (one of the kids is sick, family things come up, etc).

Here's my problem... with her when we make plans it's always "Ok let's get together Sat at 2pm, but I'll call you first" This leaves me in limbo. I mean do we have plans or NOT?

I have to get myself and Jake ready to go out at 2pm only to wait for a call that may or may not come with a cancellation. I plan around Jake's eating and napping schedule, around what I have to do, and what DH has to do...yet I have to wait for her call??

And then when she does decide to call an hour later (or whenever), then I have to jump up and be ready to go?? Sorry, no...it doesn't work that way. I have a very busy life too, ya know.

She's always trying to "squeeze me in" between this plan or that plan, and if it doesn't work for her, then we cancel...meanwhile I have actually made the effort to schedule my plans with her into my weekend.

Don't get me wrong, I've blown her off too plenty of times because of this BS... but now it's just getting ridiculous.

It's really starting to aggravate me to the point that I don't even want to try and make plans with her at all anymore. It is 4:15pm right now...she was supposed to call me at 2pm to let me know if we were getting together at 3pm.

Is it just me or is this extremely rude? What would you say or do?

Re: Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

i would be upset as well. i would make definte plans the day before so your day wouldn't be wasted with wait for her

Re: Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

I agree...and one would think as a mom she'd understand this more.


From now on, be firm...."we'll get together at 2" means "we'll get together at 2" not 3:30 or 4. Next time say to her: I/We will see you Sat. at X am/pm. When she tries the "I'll call you first" you simply say: I have evening plans with DH and it's got to be X or not at all...maybe word it nicer. Either way, just be firm that you need to stick to the timeframe decided on or else you are out.

Re: Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

I think she is very rude. I would just go about by day and that's it.

Re: Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

Re: Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

YES it is rude and i would tell her that i want a confirm call no LATER than 24 before the GTG.

I most certainly would not be waitig around for a call the day of

Re: Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

She is not very considerate of your time ...just go about your day if she calls and YOU can (or feel like it)fit her in if not don't.

Re: Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

I agree, it is very rude. I say you confirm the day before and barring any unforseen EMERGENCY plans are on.

My friend Val (Joenick) is notorious, when she plans a GTG she tells us to mark it down and unless someone is bleeding we should all be there. We have a friend like yours in our group

Re: Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

very rude! does she think her time is more valuable than yours?

I *might* give her one more shot and I would outright tell her that this is the last time you're setting your PRECIOUS time aside.

Re: Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

Re: Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

I'm with everyone else. I had a friend like that too... Past tense.

Re: Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

i hate that! i hate when people say "maybe" or "ill let you know". its very simple, its either yes or no.

Re: Is this rude or is it just me? (long)

I hate when people do this! My one friend always pulls this with me, but she doesn't have children, so she can't understand why it's hard for me.