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ricaim
LIF Adult
Member since 8/09 1201 total posts
Name:
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is my dh normal?
So I told DH that the HPT was negative and that with two days to go for the beta, the odds are pretty slim on a positive. You know what I got? Nothin. No words, no reaction. I feel like I am doing all of the work (appointments, shots, etc) and the least he can give is a reaction. But no.... just silence. ***?
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Posted 1/30/10 11:36 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
Cocoahontas
LIF Infant
Member since 9/09 133 total posts
Name:
Cocoa
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Re: is my dh normal?
Posted by ricaim
So I told DH that the HPT was negative and that with two days to go for the beta, the odds are pretty slim on a positive. You know what I got? Nothin. No words, no reaction. I feel like I am doing all of the work (appointments, shots, etc) and the least he can give is a reaction. But no.... just silence. ***?
I think alot of men have difficulty dealing with all of the work that goes into IF treatments. It took awhile for me to get my DH on board for IVF. He thought nothing was wrong with me becasue even though I have had m/c and c/p's he just thought it would eventually happen becasue I have gotten pregnant 3 times.
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| Posted 1/30/10 11:55 AM |
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shelby34
Love being a twin mommy!
Member since 5/07 2934 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: is my dh normal?
I don't think he is abnormal...
guys deal with things sooo differently than we do. My DH was always so positive...as if he wasn't in reality with me...and never really reacted to any of the negative things that happened with us. It always drove me NUTS!
But, I think we have to realize that they have a much more difficult time dealing with emotion and that doesn't mean they don't care or don't want it as badly as we do. I saw that when I had my first bad bleed after I got pg...DH was actually crying 
Anyway, I think just having a little chat with him and letting him know that you really need his support right now because this is really difficult for you. I did that and I think it really helped.
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| Posted 1/30/10 12:03 PM |
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ChiefMT
LIF Adult
Member since 9/08 1440 total posts
Name:
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Re: is my dh normal?
I think it is hard for them to understand the magnitude of all we have to... appointments, needles, anesthesia!!!!!!!!! On the other hand, I think they feel they need to be strong. They don't want to freak out because then that would freak us out. I know my DH is very even keeled and it drives me crazy because I am highly emotional. As much as infertility is hard for them, I think it is even harder for them to watch us go through it. They want to protect us and unfortunately no one can protect us from this madness. But what they don't understand is that sometimes we need to see them break down too, just to remind us that we're not riding this roller coaster alone....
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| Posted 1/30/10 4:46 PM |
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shelby34
Love being a twin mommy!
Member since 5/07 2934 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: is my dh normal?
Posted by ChiefMT
I think it is hard for them to understand the magnitude of all we have to... appointments, needles, anesthesia!!!!!!!!! On the other hand, I think they feel they need to be strong. They don't want to freak out because then that would freak us out. I know my DH is very even keeled and it drives me crazy because I am highly emotional. As much as infertility is hard for them, I think it is even harder for them to watch us go through it. They want to protect us and unfortunately no one can protect us from this madness. But what they don't understand is that sometimes we need to see them break down too, just to remind us that we're not riding this roller coaster alone....
Very well said!
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| Posted 1/30/10 5:29 PM |
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WaterGirl
Momma!!!
Member since 1/10 1060 total posts
Name:
Amanda
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Re: is my dh normal?
Posted by shelby34
Posted by ChiefMT
I think it is hard for them to understand the magnitude of all we have to... appointments, needles, anesthesia!!!!!!!!! On the other hand, I think they feel they need to be strong. They don't want to freak out because then that would freak us out. I know my DH is very even keeled and it drives me crazy because I am highly emotional. As much as infertility is hard for them, I think it is even harder for them to watch us go through it. They want to protect us and unfortunately no one can protect us from this madness. But what they don't understand is that sometimes we need to see them break down too, just to remind us that we're not riding this roller coaster alone....
Very well said!
I second that!
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| Posted 1/30/10 6:00 PM |
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Angelsmusic
LIF Infant
Member since 11/09 176 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: is my dh normal?
I know how you feel. All I got after a BFN was a half hearted hug. I think mine is tired of it all..could it be that DH is taking it all in but acting differently this time round not knowing how many more times it will be like this...
Maybe talk about it and get it out in the open...so sorry it's BFN so far...
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| Posted 1/30/10 8:07 PM |
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diva7531
My Peanut
Member since 2/07 5199 total posts
Name:
Ryan 3 boys EDD 11/6!
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Re: is my dh normal?
Sounds like a lot of the DH's are kind of similar. My DH always tells me "whatever you want", and every once in a blue moon will ask an actual question like "will the drugs make you get menopause early?"
I think sometimes they are afraid to say the wrong thing. So they try to say as little as possible.
I don't think that they are unattahcedto the situation, but they know they can never possibly understand what we have to go through, but I do think we can't fully understand what they go through as well. The same but differnt emotions if you know what I mean.
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| Posted 1/31/10 7:15 AM |
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