Infertility counseling...

It is getting hard to stay positive despite other posts. I feel like I am flip-flopping with highs and lows and I know it is destructive when I have to function from day to day.

I woke up very upset today. Right now I am having a very hard time making peace with everything. I got my period in full force today, like clockwork, on Day 28. Yesterday, was a slight taunting from AF - Grrrr. But now that I have to temp and chart (as per Dr. R's instructions), I am even more focused on my cycle.

So now that I know I ovulate and have regular periods, I feel like I have my treasure and I cannot find the key to the treasure box to open it. It feels like a cruel joke that someone is playing on me. I have been relying heavily on DH to help me remember all that Dr. Rosenfeld said. I am having a very hard time. And as great and supprotive as DH is, he needs a break from my sadness as well. I don’t know how I am going to make it through the next 2 weeks until I know what is really going on inside of me. I really try to see the positive in all of this, thinking that a doctor wouldn’t do a procedure if there wasn’t hope at all, but my heart hurts now. I am sorry for the “woe is me” attitude right now, but dealing is harder than I thought.

Has anyone ever used fertility counseling effectively either as an individual or as a couple? Has it helped? NSUH gave us a paper in regard to the fertility counseling services, and I wondered if any of their patients have used them?. I am not opposed to going alone and DH said he would go with me if I wanted him to. FM me if you would rather keep your personal things private. I can certainly respect a need for privacy. Thanks again in advance. I hate feeling so needy.

Re: Infertility counseling...

Leslie, I came very close to going to counseling...

Cornell gave me a number of a psychologist..I called, made an appointment and then chickened out and canceled....

We had a very long talk with DH and decided that we can talk to each other about our problem and not involve a "stranger"...I also found the internet, particularly lifamilies to help me a lot with my emotions....

It is your choice and if you feel it might make you feel better then I suggest you go.....You can always have a trial session and see how it goes...it can't hurt....

On a happier note I just found out that a lady I work with is pregnant with twins...she did her first IVF at Cornell....she is 38 and had cervix problems like you...I think even more complicated.(other problems as well)..it worked on her first try so please stay positive....it will happen for you!!!!

Message edited 4/18/2007 9:40:13 AM.

Re: Infertility counseling...

I am a therapist so I may be a little biased but I think it helps tremendously. I have been to both individual and couples counseling and it has always been helpful.

I dont think that you necessarily need a therapist who specializes in infertility but you may decide that would be better for you.

While I like the ferility counseling they have at my clinic, the one thing that I personally was uncomfortable with is that the notes from my therapy session would be included in my medical record of the clinic. I wanted to go to a place where I felt I could speak freely and not have to worry about it playing any sort fo role in my treatment (not saying that it would- but that was my feeling) because the RE's could see the notes.

Good luck! and feel better. This is a roller coaster and its natural to have ups and downs.

Re: Infertility counseling...

Thank you so much for responding. Intellectually, I know that wallowing in self pity is so counterproductive to my issues. I work in mental health myself with children and adults. Part of my job is to help them focus on all of the positive things rather than on the negative. I simply wish I could put my own theories into practice.

I do not fear therapy. I have already been there before. I thought going to the gym would help me both mentally as well as physically and it has, but it isnt enough right now. Dependency on an outside source stinks, but I also need to be fair to DH. This is his problem too. It has to be hard to watch someone hurt when you are hurting also. We talk all the time and he does his best. He really does. I thank G-d that he is even-keeled and not hyper like me. Then i would COMPLETELY lose it.

Re: Infertility counseling...

I agree, I think counseling is a great idea if you feel you need it.

I have not experienced infertility counseling but had done some individual counseling and I felt it just helped to have someone to talk to. An unbiased sympathetic ear. Someone you can say anything to who can't throw it back in your face later!

I hope you are able to sit down and talk to someone about what's going on in your head. It's important in conceiving to not only be physically well, but mentally prepared as well.

I wish you only the best!

Re: Infertility counseling...

dh and i went for counseling and it was really great for us. we were strong before, and my husband was always open to talking, but this allowed us to explore our issues even more with someone that truly understands. when the therapist specializes in infertility you don't have to waste time "explaining" all the steps of the process/journey you are on and they confirm/validate your feelings based on all their experiences with other couples.

i didn't go to nsuh, so i don't know who's on your list, but i would be happy to fm you my therapist's name if you need another one.

as far as relying on dh for remembering all that the doctor said, i think it's great you both go and hear the instructions, but i recommend you keep a notebook just for all communications about this. i always had to refer to my notebook, even when i thought i remembered exactly what they said.

good luck with everything!! you'll make it through.