If you worked in an office with mostly men...

And one of them verbally attacked you (not a boss, a coworker) what would you expect or want your bosses to do about it?? How would you want them to handle that situation?

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

It depends on what was said. And then the question is, if a woman said the same thing to you, would you still 'run to the boss' about it.

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

Posted by DaniRella

Posted by Blazesyth

It depends on what was said. And then the question is, if a woman said the same thing to you, would you still 'run to the boss' about it.

Absolutely.

The reason I mentioned gender is because I feel like since it's 99% men they are trying to be like "oh it's no big deal" and sweep it under the rug b/c to men-- they try not to get riled about things- especially when another one of their "guy friends" is the one who did it...

So, that being said, a package came and was sitting in the front of the office... just to be nice (since I knew it was for this guy) I took it and walked downstairs (we have two levels) and gave it to him--- he then asked me where the second item that went with it was and I said, Oh I'm not sure- that was the only thing upstairs and there's no delivery person- they just came in and left it, I simply noticed it and thought I would bring it down...

He then screamed at me for about 2-3 minutes in front of the entire office: where is the rest of his package, how did I not know there was more, why did I not know he was expecting another package, next time don't be dumb and look at the packing slip, etc etc.

I was like

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

Posted by DaniRella

Posted by Blazesyth

It depends on what was said. And then the question is, if a woman said the same thing to you, would you still 'run to the boss' about it.

Absolutely.

The reason I mentioned gender is because I feel like since it's 99% men they are trying to be like "oh it's no big deal" and sweep it under the rug b/c to men-- they try not to get riled about things- especially when another one of their "guy friends" is the one who did it...

So, that being said, a package came and was sitting in the front of the office... just to be nice (since I knew it was for this guy) I took it and walked downstairs (we have two levels) and gave it to him--- he then asked me where the second item that went with it was and I said, Oh I'm not sure- that was the only thing upstairs and there's no delivery person- they just came in and left it, I simply noticed it and thought I would bring it down...

He then screamed at me for about 2-3 minutes in front of the entire office: where is the rest of his package, how did I not know there was more, why did I not know he was expecting another package, next time don't be dumb and look at the packing slip, etc etc.

I was like

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

Ewwww.... I probably wouldnt say anything to a boss about it, but I probably would have given it right back to him at that point. I would have told him that I'm not his mother I was just trying to save him a trip upstairs/downstairs and that if he has a problem with the delivery he needs to get off his rump and call. And that next time you are not going to go out of your way for him at all.

Then again, I had a male coworker tell me to STFU and die, and I just laughed in his face. That pi$$ed him off alot that my reaction was so different. It of course got back to management (not thru me, but by the coworkers that saw it and thru the grapevine) that he said that to me, and he was dealt with appropriately. It still makes me laugh, he was so serious about a stupid thing enough to say that to me.

Message edited 4/27/2007 3:58:31 PM.

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

I had this happen to me.

A co-worker actually said to me 'Let a man handle this' and pushed his way into control. When it came time to help him, the boss asked me to give assistance to him. I refused. The boss was kind of surprised so I explained what had transpired.

Later in the day the boss informed me that the employee was actually boasting about what he said to me. The boss reminded him that he can not say what he did (which I already knew).

My boss reminded me that I could have brought charges up against him, but in my business a lot of the men go around scared of women because of this. So unless I was SEVERLY harassed, I would never take it any further.

The employee came up to me completely with a man 'I'm better than you' attitude and said 'Sorry I hurt your feelings. I felt you needed to be put down a peg' I turned right around and said just because I'm better and SAFER at the job than you and you got snippy doesn't mean you hurt my feelings. Next time watch your words because you may not like the outcome.

He has ceased making any comments to me and the boss does not put us working together.

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

I would not confront your boss about it this time. But definitely if it happens again.

I work in a male dominated industry and often times I am not taken seriously. I had someone speak to me very unprofessionally and i knew they would not have said anything like that to me if I was a guy. I simply told him what he said was unprofessional and ended the conversation. He learned that he could not talk that way to me, apologized and never said anything like that to me again.

In your case, I would have told him that in the future he can retreive his own damn packages!

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

Posted by Blazesyth

Ewwww.... I probably wouldnt say anything to a boss about it, but I probably would have given it right back to him at that point. I would have told him that I'm not his mother I was just trying to save him a trip upstairs/downstairs and that if he has a problem with the delivery he needs to get off his rump and call. And that next time you are not going to go out of your way for him at all.

Then again, I had a male coworker tell me to STFU and die, and I just laughed in his face. That pi$$ed him off alot that my reaction was so different. It of course got back to management (not thru me, but by the coworkers that saw it and thru the grapevine) that he said that to me, and he was dealt with appropriately. It still makes me laugh, he was so serious about a stupid thing enough to say that to me.

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

I worked for a company in which one of my ushers owned, we delt with car dealerships and I was the only woman. One of our Honda dealerships in Westchester area had a horid Manager and he had almost brought me to tears one day, so I hung up and vented to DH friend, (owner of co) and when he went to that dealership to check in on them, he put Mr. soand so in his place. Mr So and so called me to apoligze and from that day he was the nicest man to me on the phone.

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

oh my GOD I'd be so mad

Although with the emotional state I've been in lately, I probably would've cried.

I think you handled it to the best of your ability, and you're at the very LEAST owed an apology.

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

Posted by DaniRella
aww that's awesome!

for me- i couldn't actually speak over the intense yelling otherwise i probably could have come up w/ something very striking i'm good like that--

but yeah, he went nuts so that was a no-go.

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

it sounds like he has issues with women?

Of course the boss (a man) would say that's not like him.

Too bad you don't have a penis..maybe Rich would have kept his cool.

This is so not cool..I guess no good deed goes unpunished.

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

Re: If you worked in an office with mostly men...

Posted by DaniRella

Posted by Blu-ize

Nope, I would not go to my supervisor. I would handle it calmly and confront him directly. Simply state that you did not appreciate the verbal onslaught and it was high inappropriate behavior. Keep it short and sweet. Don't get into anything with him further. Don't discuss it with anyone else at work.

Sorry that azzhole said that to you. If it wasn't work, I would tell him off completely and include something along the lines of maybe he needs to get it more being so tense and all.

Well, after the initial outburst I went up to him (tried to be private but he kept yelling so everyone could here) and said that I did not appreciate that and that it was simply a mistake and totally out of my hands- all I was doing was trying to do him a favor by bringing him the package and in the future I won't.

Then he just yelled more until finally my boss had to come out and say "Enough, you are involving the entire office-- how about you both come in my office now?"

And then we went in and I explained what happened-- he explained what happened (added that I had an attitude LOL which was a complete lie) and then I said well there was no attitude but even if there was what you did is completely out of line and uncalled for...

Then my boss said ok both of you go back to your desks and we will call you in here one by one.

Then, they called him in first... talked for about ten minutes, he came out and went downstairs... and they waited a good, hmm, 5 hours to call me in and called me in right before I was about to leave.

I, again, explained what happened. They said this is totally not like him and must be a freak thing. I stated, actually- it happens all the time and I usually just ignore it- the only reason he went off today was simply because I said "you don't have to raise your voice, I had no idea there was a second package"

They stated again that they are shocked, have no clue what to do and sent me on my way!

I am BAFFLED at how unbelievable this entire ordeal is!! And how they don't know what to do and just sat there with blank looks on their faces (two bosses, that is).

I mentioned to them that when I came back up the only two other women in the office said to me "are you ok?" I said "yeah, I'll be OK" and they said "that's Rich for ya... that's just how he is" and they and shook their head in disgust-- so I told my bosses apparently the other two women are aware of how he speaks and treats us-- the only difference is today he yelled rather than just talked to me like I'm DIRT under his feet in a calm manner.

Hmmmm