I need help!

My hubby does not want to find out the sex of the baby and wants to be surprised.. I would love this as well but my biggest problem is I have to know everything!!!! I want to prepare.. I want to be able to plan the room and have a shower with things that are not just gender neutral... But hubby made it clear he would be upset if I found out.. How am I going to get through the whole pregnancy not knowing??? Any advice anyone can share? anyone else feel this way? TIA

I need help!

Find out what exactly he wants out of the surprise.... does he want that "wow" feeling, or does he really want to wait 9 months to meet his baby?
I was thinking that like a bride who needs to put on that gown and get the whole "wow" factor and emotional crying thing before she buys a dress, I think your hubby wants the elation of that "moment".

Maybe he can meet you in the middle, and explain how for you as a mother, the bonding experience and the preparation are very important, and while you do want that same "wow" moment, you just want it sooner.

I think if you totally hype up the gender reveal party like I did it, it could work. Everyone was so excited for me to cut that cake, they skipped all of the other food I had put out. DH and I never found out the gender till we cut the cake. The feeling I had when I saw "pink" was indescribable! Good Luck!

Re: I need help!

Posted by LIRascal

I think if you totally hype up the gender reveal party like I did it, it could work. Everyone was so excited for me to cut that cake, they skipped all of the other food I had put out. DH and I never found out the gender till we cut the cake. The feeling I had when I saw "pink" was indescribable! Good Luck!

Re: I need help!

im not finding out by choice...dh wanted to know, but i said no and he came to terms with it by the time we hit the 20 week anatomy scan.

the gender reveal party is a good idea, but i will say, if your husband is stubborn like me, hes not going to go for it. i had my mind made up that i didnt want to know and there was no changing it no matter what he said to me!

yes, there are obvious pros to finding out...you can prepare etc. but there are such cute gender neutral things out there. we are registering for gender neutral bedding and not registering for any clothing. regardless of knowing the sex or not, we were getting gender neutral car seat, stroller etc bc they are big purchases and the hope is to have kids close in age and we dont want to be forced to buy a new stroller bc we got a pink one the first time around. really, the only things that are gender neutral would be clothing...and pick up a few outfits for both sexes and return the ones you dont need after the baby is born. even if you get gender neutral clothing at the shower, you will put it to good use...sure you may get sick of yellow ducks, but when you are home the first few weeks and not having visitors, you just want to put the baby in anything so why not yellow and green???

i will be honest, part of my reason to not find out is that I want a girl and DH wants a boy and im worried about gender disappointment. this far DH has been so great with the pregnancy...talking to my belly, reading weekly updates on what is going on with the baby etc. im concerned if its a girl he will just be like ehhh (of course that is until she is born in which case i have no doubts he will be in love with her) and i also think if its a boy i may rush this pregnancy along and not enjoy it as much bc ill just be thinking about trying for a second. for me, not knowing is also going to get me through labor...pushing that baby out to finally get to know what it is will keep me motivated, and at that time no matter what it is, we will both be so overjoyed with happiness and love for the LO it wont matter what it is.

in the end, you have to do something you and DH agree to. im normally a control freak - everyone is SHOCKED that im not finding out...but in the end it is lifes greatest surprise and I want to experience it the way its meant to be experienced.

edit to say wow thats long! but also to add, it is a lot of fun to have everyone come by and guess what im having. every time people ask and i say we arent finding out they give me their guess...my family actually decided to do a baby pool in december when i am further along. you guess the date the baby will be born, the sex and the weight...and you put in $5 per guess...the winner gets the money.

Message edited 10/11/2012 3:16:36 PM.

Re: I need help!

We didn't find out with our DD. Was it hard not knowing? Yes. Was it worth it? OMG yes!!!!!!

Honestly, hearing "It's A Girl" after months of waiting and guessing was the single greatest moment of my life!! The shock, surprise, and excitement was beyond words. We were convinced it was a boy. It was just an amazing feeling to be in the OR and finally find out. All I could do was cry, I was so overwhelmed. It was the one true surprise I EVER had in my life!!! I LOVED that moment.

As special as it was though this time around we are finding out for numerous reasons but I did toy with the idea on staying Team again. If you do choose to not find out you won't be disappointed. It's an amazing moment when the time comes.

I need help!

I am like you but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I can still prepare and set up a nice nursery. I know some stuff would be annoying to have to go gender neutral, but the more I thought about it, the more i realized 2 things. 1. This is my first and aside from clothes, I will register for everything gender neutral anyway so I can use it with future children. 2. i like gender neutral decorating anyway. I really think even if we have a girl, I am going to pick out blue bedding. It's flowers so it girly.....but blue.

I need help!

I did not want to find out the sex and DH really really did. Since we plan on having a second down the line we compromised. We found out for baby #1 and baby #2 will be a surprise. If you plan on having more than one DC, can you do something like that?

Re: I need help!