I need advice.. houseguest related....... (decided to delete)

thanks ladies, and I know this is one of the things on the pet peeves list so I am truly sorry about deleting but I ultimately figured out what I should do here... it's obviously not worth ruining a friendship over Thank you for all the input!


(Sorry for the pet peeve! )

Message edited 10/21/2010 11:22:10 AM.

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

I know this isn't what you want to hear but I'd probably suck it up and let her stay as long as she planned to. Sorry.

She probably feels like 'yay she's dying to see me, I'm dying to see her!' I feel like anything you say now is going to be kinda damaging...

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

I feel for you. You know how the saying goes "House guest are like fish...they begin to stink after three days." Your situation has happened to me before (too many times). Because my dh works weekends, I use that often as a way to deter weekend guests when we haven't had a lot of time together. Guest rooms suck for this reason! If you guys are close...I would suck it up

or

I'd figure out how to cut her weekend short. I would "make" plans of some sort. Make them up... If you can really thinking of something creative like a 1st birthday...something that does not need a 1month+ notice to attend. Do you take continuing education classes for your job. Maybe your boss "suggested you take one over the weekend..."

I'm sorry, it sucks, I totally understand. If you can try to suck it up for 3days...try, but only if you feel she is totally worth it.

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

i COMPLETELY understand!!! DHs parents live 5 hours away... so any time he/we want to see them, they stay at our house for 3 or 4 nights. honestly... i HATE it!! i get so stressed out about what meals to cook for them, cleaning the house, getting everythng in order. it doesn't help that we bought their house from them when they moved--- so they are WAY too comfortable here sometimes! they can't just hang out- they want to be helping us with projects and stuff.
and you're right- when they come, it usually interferes with a work day so one of us either has to take off, or we leave them alone in the house ( which i'm NOT comfortable with)

So... i totally get what you're saying!! BUT- i think sometimes you hvae to just suck it up in order to see family or friends that you don't see a lot. its usually not as bad as i work myself up for. maybe your friend has other people in the area she'll want to see, too and won't really be in your house all that much??? in my case, my ILs usually end up going out to dinner with the old neighbors and friends, so that give DH and i a break from them.
i think you just have to set ground rules beforehand- i.e "you need to leave by this time on monday because i have to get to work" or, in my case i just make sure ILs never stay longer than 3 nights...lol GOOD LUCK!! its usually not as bad as you think its gonna be!

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

If you really don't want to host, tell her after discussing it with DH, you were both unprepared to have someone for 3 days.

I do think that this will alter your friendship. As long as you're ok with that, tell her. I'm assuming there were no previous issues with her as a guest?

If this is a WWYD, I'd suck it up too. You never know when you're going to have a great time & fun is what you make of it. I am one that never realizes how much I've missed my friends I haven't seen until I see them.

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

she's your friend and she's coming to visit you so i'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but i think you should suck it up and let her stay with you. if the 3 days really bothers you tell her that your dh has something really big going on at work so it's fine that she stays friday and saturday but you would both rather if you had a quiet night on sunday

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

I know this stinks since I love my privacy too, but I think you'll have to suck it up. It's only for 3 days and it's really not worth damaging your relationship with her.

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

If she is driving 8 hours to see you I think you should let her stay. Especially if the friendship means that much to you.

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

I am kind of the same way about houseguests as well. I really don't like having people stay over. But, I think since she's your friend and you haven't seen her in a long time, you should let her stay with you all 3 nights. Who knows, maybe you'll end up being really happy she came.

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......

3 nights IS a long time I really feel for you but you kind put your foot in your mouth when you said it was ok to get off at least one night you could say that you and DH are going somewhere on Sunday. This way she could check in a hotel for at least that day. OR tell her you won't be home Friday so maybe she would leave Saturday morning, this will save you the Friday night! Oh man I'm with you on how you feel about all this.

ETA: I think it would be better to tell her to leave Saturday morning so by the time she gets to your house that night it will be over (1 night down) then you just got Sunday all day and night and she is off bright and early Monday morning..

Message edited 10/21/2010 11:11:23 AM.

Re: I need advice.. houseguest related.......