I love my Dad but he doesnt respect me as a parent

I have a teenage daughter (who I had at a young age if that even matters) anyway I am married with 3 children and own my own home and have NEVER EVER borrowed money from my parents etc.....I am a responsible adult
that being said I was not a responsible teen...I snuck out and disobeyed and got pregnant at 17 and DID NOT get along with my parents

things have DRASTICALLY changed since then I dont even know that girl I once was and if you ask any of my adult friends or anyone who knows me now they wouldnt even beleive me if I told them that.
well tonight was my DDs 3rd birthday and my 13yr old was upstairs on her comoputer all day on and off.....so I finally told her to get downstairs and spend some time with the family and she was done with all electronics for the day and that I had enough of it
well my Dad had to get involved and he always has to "bring up" the past...and say things like dont you remember how you were when you were a teenager etc
so I told him to stay out of it and that was innapprioriate for him to say and I am the parent and she has to do what I tell her etc. and he was like whatever you and your rules etc

well forgive me if I want my child to succeed and not be a teen mom and get good grades and study (she is on honor roll now and a terrific student)

anyway just had to vent
thanks for reading

Re: I love my Dad but he doesnt respect me as a parent

I think that no matter how old we are or how good we are at parenting, our own parents will always question us and try to still "be the parent". I don't think anything your dad did is anything my own parents won't do when Ava is older, and I was an angel in their eyes as a teenager (in their eyes being the key words ). Sounds like your DD has her grandpa wrapped around her finger, is all

Re: I love my Dad but he doesnt respect me as a parent

Re: I love my Dad but he doesnt respect me as a parent

Right - you & your rules....and it sounds like you are doing a fantastic job . Feel free to point it out next time he laments about your rules.

I think most grandparents let grandchildren get away with stuff they'd never let their children get away with. Thankfully, he has you to ensure he has a granddaughter that respects family time.

Re: I love my Dad but he doesnt respect me as a parent

Re: I love my Dad but he doesnt respect me as a parent

Ok, I may differ than most of you.

I truely disagree (and surprised) with the comments about "if you're disrespected, you should be discrespectful back". Ok, this is your dad here. I wouldn't be disrespectful back.

I would politely & quietly speak to your father and say "please don't interfer with my children". I know in the heat of the moments things are said from both parties. Its a tough situation, I don't envy you. I would also remember that parents are always our parents. We may not like them sometimes, but they are who they are. You can't change them. I do a lot of biting my tongue. Trust me, in my younger years I used to battle with my mom. As I've grown and had my own family I realize there is love behind everything they say.

I agree with Rachel also. Grandparents are so defensive about their grandchildren. They can do no wrong.

Message edited 12/29/2009 9:54:43 AM.

Re: I love my Dad but he doesnt respect me as a parent

I also won't tell you to disrespect your father in return... all you really do by that is teach your children that they can disrespect you.

I would, however, pull your father aside privately and let him know that it is UNACCEPTABLE for him to undermine your parenting the way he is. You're raising your children differently from how you were raised and his opinions should not be vocalized in front of them.

YES, you were a wild teenager. You know that and you suffered the consequences. Just because you did it does not mean it's okay for them and for your father to imply such a thing is absolutely ridiculous. But you should pull him aside and tell him this privately.