I am so ANGRY !!!!!

For those of you who recall my last post that my SD's BM entered her in a beauty pageant w/ out so much as consulting w/ my DH ( or telling him where or when it was for that matter) - Only sending him a bill for his half of a $440 entrance fee ...

The plot thickens and I am physically ill and seething with anger right now..Not at my SD , because she has nothing to do with the finances, but with the BM

DH gets his new bills in the mail today...

She wants 50% of the following :

balance on pageant fees- $310
Pageant Dress and earrings- $86
Alterations on dress- $70.61
Crown and bracelet- $30.00
Shoes and interview outfits- $127.00
hair and nails- $60.00
HOTEL- $309.75


This is all in addition to her taking SD for glasses that were $400 that DH is responsible for 100% w/ out even asking him WHERE he wants her to take her All has to be payed in the next days....

Never , at any point did my DH get asked to go to this pageant nor escort my SD ( which they require a male escort for we found out on their site)...There is NO requirenment to stay at the hotel AND SD was there with the BM, step-father and her sister !!! Why the FLUCK should my DH have to pay half of this hotel bill ??!!!!

I am so livid I can't even speak....
Enough is enough...but what do we do ??

Hire an attorney AGAIN that doesn't know what they are doing ?? If he pays it, he's a $hmuck, if he doesnt he's a $hmuck...if she loses in court, she will find another way to make sure my DH pays up one way or another..

We can't win

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

I have no words...

You know what I think....

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

IMO, I think he just needs to cut it off. If he pays and continues to pay without having a say in any of this....then he will always pay. Furthermore, SD will learn that he should just pay and go along with anything her mother requests and if he refuses later down the line, he will be wrong (in her eyes). My suggestion is to just not pay it. Don't call an attorney or take her to court, just have him send some sort of correspondence that states, "he needs to be consulted prior to making decisions regarding her eyeglasses, extracurricular activities, etc." and make sure he puts details of why he is insisting on this and what is going on. He can also include information regarding where he prefers her to be examined or what kind of glasses he will buy in the future. He has to be reasonable of course.

Leave it to BM to decide if she wants to take it farther and drag him to court, she probably won't! Lawyers are expensive. If she wants money out of him, she has to cooperate PERIOD. If she does take him to court and he has a stack of incidents and papers thoroughly documented, the judge will see his side. Just because he is ordered to pay, doesn't mean that he doesn't have any rights!!!! You both need to put your foot down and put an end to this because if you don't, it will ultimately spiral into a much more expensive issue and it won't end.

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

I would be just as pisssed as you are. My DH deals with his ex who loves to put their 3 kids in every activity/sport under the sun. Mind you, the oldest is struggling in school and really would benefit from getting a break from the activites and focus more on his schoolwork. This summer, the ex got a tutor for the eldest son. And she wants to continue the tutor during school year. DH has been telling her for years that the kids should be in public school so that all the services they may need are right there! DH told the ex that he cannot and will not pay for extra curricular activites b/c we cannot afford all of these extras that she chooses to schedule the kids for. He will pay for tutoring but that is it. Not to mention, my DH's pro rata share is 75%!!

I would talk to DH and tell him that the madness needs to stop. I would keep records of everything she asks for but tell her that he will not pay for it. Being involved in beauty paegents is not the norm for a little girl, dance class is. Tell the BM that if she would like help paying for an activity outside of school, then he must be conferred with and it must be reasonable. Let HER sue HIM! She will not get any money after DH proves the ridiculous costs that she is trying to extort from him. But DH needs to PUT HIS FOOT DOWN!! He must be strong and start saying no!!

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

No way! I would absolutely not be paying that bill. This has to stop its madness!!! A beauty pageant is a necessity. It was her decision to put SD in the pageant so let her pay for it. She is going to continue this if he doesn't put his foot down

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

Thank you to everyone who replied....

My DH and I feel like we are between a rock and a hard place here....Yes- he can refuse to pay and she will take him to court ( trust me when I say she will- she is the "cut off your nose to spite your face" type who would go into hock just to make my DH have to spend money)

Would he win- yes- I have very little doubt that he wouldn't.

But in the same token- There is a good chance that any ground we have re-built with my SD will be lost again and then BM will STILL find one way or another to make him pay in another form...We have been down this road before- She is a spiteful vindictave witch

The very least that "I" want is for my DH is to question her in writing....I want her to break down the math of this ridiculous hotel bill and "IF" he wants to look good- have him pay one half of my SD's portion of the hotel fee ( which would only be like $40)...This way if they DO go to court down the road - he is not portrayed as a dead beat father who doesnt give a damn about his daughter but is human and is trying to keep his family afloat financially without going into ruins ..We can also show how wacked she is to teh courts.......She also failed to provide the receipt for the hair and nails ( which we saw a pic of SD that day- her hair was NOT professionally done)

This pageant has costed a total of $1200 and she didn't even get to go on to the next round !!!!


We have another child coming in March- This will surely send the BM into a tailspin so i have a feeling either way we will be back in court and then at that point I guess where the chips fall is where they will lie

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

I just saw this post...I am so sorry you are dealing with this!

Where I do agree with PP to just not pay it - since it is not considered something SD needs, I do see the situation you are in as we tend to find ourselves in the same boat - BM will retaliate and therefore your relationship with SD will start to suffer again out of pure spite.

I also don't see how they can expect your DH to pay for half of a hotel that 4 people stayed in......that is nuts!

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

look at divorce agreement.
HE may legally not have to pay.
She can't do anything if it doesn't state certain things.

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

I think your DH should just tell her he's not giving her the money and if she wants she can take him back to court. BM tried pulling the same bs with my DH and thats what he told her and she never took him back to court. Good luck!

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

Posted by EndlessSummer719

I think your DH should just tell her he's not giving her the money and if she wants she can take him back to court. BM tried pulling the same bs with my DH and thats what he told her and she never took him back to court. Good luck!

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

Posted by dfw343

Posted by EndlessSummer719



I wonder if a BP would be an EC activity?

Thats the million dollar question
I wish I knew !

Re: I am so ANGRY !!!!!

Posted by Bops

Posted by dfw343

Posted by EndlessSummer719



I wonder if a BP would be an EC activity?

Thats the million dollar question
I wish I knew !

you never know, my DH has gotten hit on this technicality too - not a beauty pagent, but other things, b/c it is stated in the agreement as extra curricular activities.......good luck, keep us posted, I hope it all works out for you without damaging any progress you have had with SD.