I am a mean mommy

We have been potty training her for a while now (she is 3) she does great with peeing but will not poop on the potty. EVERY SINGLE DAY she poops in her underwear. I have told her she does not have to poop in the potty if she does not want to - let me know and I will put her pull ups on.

Well, I asked her 10 minutes ago if she needed to poop that I will put diapers on her. She says no. Well lo and behold she poops, yet again, in her underwear. I lost it - I yelled at her (which I totally know I am not supposed ot do when potty training) and made her cry. I feel terrible about it.

Yet, at the same time I am so completely frustrated. She knows when it is coming because she hides. I just don't know what to do - I feel like its making me this mean mommy and I do not like hurting her feelings.

Re: I am a mean mommy

Honestly, at this point I would put her back in diapers or pull ups and tell her that she can't have big girl underwear until she poops on the potty. I don't know if that's the "right" thing to do, since I've never potty trained a child, but I'd be frustrated too.

Re: I am a mean mommy

potty training takes LOTS of patience and LOTS of accidents

you are not a bad mommy, at all though

maybe have her help you clean up the mess when she has an accident. this may help encourage her to use the potty. Also, are you rewarding her when she DOES use the potty?

I find for miki, positive reinforcement works wonders

Message edited 3/11/2010 3:07:21 PM.

Re: I am a mean mommy

It's totally normal for pooping to take longer for pottytraining. Everyone I know has had the same issue, including myself - it took Alex a good 4-6 weeks to start pooping on the potty uniformly, after having been fully peepee pottytrained for months.

I find the best way to handle it is to not make a big deal of it - she won't be going to high school still pooping in her undies - it will work itself out eventually. The more you push and get anxious about it, the more she will regress with it.

Also, positive reinforcement works wonders - I used a star chart, and skittles and talked to Alex's teachers to make sure they made a HUGE deal out of pooping on the potty when she did it at school. And instead of just one skittle, like she would get for peepee on the potty, I would give her 5 skittles for poopy on the potty.

And for the record, you are NOT a mean mommy

Re: I am a mean mommy

i wish i could offer advice - but i wanted to say that you are not a mean mommy. you are simply HUMAN!!!!

my sitter has been going through the same exact thing with her 3 year old son. he even does the same thing you talked about - hides behind the couch when he goes...

it'll come around!

Re: I am a mean mommy

My DD was the same way. Was very good about peepee on the potty but that was it. She would scream and cry for me to put a pull up on her so she could poop in that. One day I bought a toy for her, wrapped it and put it in the bathroom next to her potty. I took her in there, showed it to her and told her that it was her "poopie present". After that she would tell me when she had to go but would just sit on the potty and cry. Finally, the other day (2 days after putting the poopie present in the bathroom) she had to go really bad and starting going in her underwear. I saw this, picked her up and ran her to the bathroom and let her finish on the potty (which she did). I jumped up and down and made it a huge deal even though she started going in her underwear. Because she finished on the potty I gave her the poopie present. She has since pooped on the potty every time she has had to go.

Maybe trying that will help for you. You're not a mean mommy. I've yelled and screamed plenty during this whole potty training process. It's very frustrating. Hang in there and try to remember to be patient she'll get the hang of it soon!

Re: I am a mean mommy

You're not a mean mommy - you're a human being who's tired of cleaning sh*t out of underwear .........

I'd be yelling too. -

And I don't care what you're 'supposed' to do - Sometimes, you just lose it .........no one's perfect.
She's not going to need therapy b/c you yelled at her - don't beat yourself up over it.

Re: I am a mean mommy

you are not being a mean mommy, everyone gets frustrated.

have you tried ltting her go without any bottoms on for a day or so. maybe she will go then.
i bought ds a book about pooping in the potty before we switched into underwear just so he wouldn't feel embarrased/afraid or whatever makes toddlers go an hide when the poop. he liked the book and we just talked about it. he never had a poop accident. i think the book was called "where's the poop?"

Re: I am a mean mommy

Message edited 3/11/2010 4:29:48 PM.

Re: I am a mean mommy

Thank you all for the support It really means a lot to me.

She is SUCH a bright kid - I had no idea it would be this difficult.

I will try the poopy present idea. SO far we have been doing the sticker chart thing which has worked wonderfully for pee but not for poop

Again, thank you all - I just need to work on my patience with this whole process.

Re: I am a mean mommy