How dumb can hubby be? Long vent

It may sound harsh, but my hubby is a bit of a moron. I take care of our son 95% of the time. I get up with him at night, I bathe him, I change his clothes, I play with him, etc. He is only 9 weeks old. This morning, I gave DS to hubby at 830am in hopes to get a little more sleep. DS had some shots yesterday and didn't sleep very well all night. I told hubby he would need a bottle. I even made it for him and put it by the baby. I went back to bed. Was able to sleep until 1145am. That when hubby came in to tell me that the baby had wet through everything. I asked him when did he change him. He said he didn't. That I didn't tell him to this morning. The poor baby had been sitting in a wet and poopy diaper for hours. I changes him at his 430am bottle.
I didn't know what to say to hubby. I was like are you kidding me? I have to tell you to change him. Then he told me he didn't know where anything was to change him in to. Duh. We have a closet full of stuff. I then told hubby that he had to take a parenting class.

Does anyone know where in Nassau County they have classes for fathers? Or parenting classes.

I knew that hubby had very little experience with babies. He has only held them when he used to play Santa for the fire department. But when we came home from the hospital, my mom showed him how to hold him and feed him and burp him, etc...It took him a couple of weeks to change a diaper. No poopy diapers yet for him though. I didn't think that I was going to have to tell him when to feed him or change him. Pretty much common sense there.

Re: How dumb can hubby be? Long vent

I think you need to stop doing 95% of the work with the baby. The only way to learn how to be a parent is to be a parent. And if you take all of the responsibility, he'll never learn.
He'll make mistakes....but that's how we learn.

I never had any experience with babies before my daughter came along, but I learned. Same for my husband.

Re: How dumb can hubby be? Long vent

Your subject field seemed like a trick question. The answer is - VERY!

DH is great with DS however I do need to be pretty explicit at times.

We took a parenting class at NSUH that was pretty good....

Re: How dumb can hubby be? Long vent

I would stop being SO available. Let him do stuff. Man up and do it. And not for anything, common sense would kick in, and say maybeI should change the kid. No? Stop doing everything.

Re: How dumb can hubby be? Long vent

I didn't think I would have to tell him every little thing. DS only cries hard when he wants a bottle. Hubby still hasn't grasped that concept. He will pick up the baby and rock him or walk with him. I have told him a ton of times that when he does that, he is hungry. He knows how to make a bottle. I have to stop whatever I am doing, and go do it myself or DS would starve. Duh...I guess I am going to have to write down everything for him and hang it by his computer....

I am still going to find some place for him to take a parenting 101 class.

Re: How dumb can hubby be? Long vent

Honestly, I think a class is a a waste of money. Like I said before, common sense should kick in. Should... My DH NEVER touched a child until we had ours, guess what he learned. There has to be some kind of instinct? Writing it down for him is just feeding his ignorance. Good Luck!

Re: How dumb can hubby be? Long vent

I wrote such explicit instructions for DH the first time he minded DS by himself! I actually did the same thing for MIL, who laughed and said she had raised 3 kids (true!).

But I got SOOO specific...ex:

8AM: Unzip outfit, take off diaper, wipe area w/ wipe, change to new diaper under changing table. Change to one of the zip-up fleece outfits in the top drawer of the dresser. Heat bottle 15 seconds and give to baby while rocking in the rocking chair.

11AM: Change diaper, heat bottle 15 seconds, give to DS in rocking chairs.

Note: If baby smells poopy, change more often than every 3 hours.

After a day or two of instructions, DH caught on!

Re: How dumb can hubby be? Long vent

Posted by nov04libride

I wrote such explicit instructions for DH the first time he minded DS by himself! I actually did the same thing for MIL, who laughed and said she had raised 3 kids (true!).

But I got SOOO specific...ex:

8AM: Unzip outfit, take off diaper, wipe area w/ wipe, change to new diaper under changing table. Change to one of the zip-up fleece outfits in the top drawer of the dresser. Heat bottle 15 seconds and give to baby while rocking in the rocking chair.

11AM: Change diaper, heat bottle 15 seconds, give to DS in rocking chairs.

Note: If baby smells poopy, change more often than every 3 hours.

After a day or two of instructions, DH caught on!

Re: How dumb can hubby be? Long vent

I'm sure there's a For Dummy's book you can buy. I'd get it for him and then quiz him on it at dinnre to make sure he's reading it.

Re: How dumb can hubby be? Long vent

Mine had zero common sense with this.

He had to be trained that everytime he peed, the baby probably did as well.

Everytime he ate, baby would need to eat.
And...more then cheerios.

forget meds...no matter how often i test him, he never gets it right.