how do you teach a one year old discipline?

i'm a first time clueless mommy.
dd is 11 months old. she's VERY strong willed and already throws tantrums
ya know, she doesn't like sleeves, doesn't want her bib on, wants to sit up on the changing table when i'm amidst changing a poopy diaper - and when she doesn't get her way... oooh the screams, the tears, the turning red. i can't WAIT for when she's a teenager
anyway, i understand how to teach her no... or at least, i think i do. she definitely understands what it means. when she goes to touch something she's not supposed to, and i say no, she will stop... then sometimes, she truly stops and move onto playing again or whatever... or other times, she smiles, then touches it anyway. at which time, i tell her no again, and redirect her somewhere else.
but how do i teach her no, or teach her discipline, when i can't just move her away? for example - we are just starting to transition to table/finger foods. a lot of times, she throws food off of her tray onto the floor to watch the dog eat it - or just to test me, bc she will stare intently into my eyes, with a smirk, as she does it yes, i can feed her off of the fork/spoon myself so it doesn't happen but then she doesn't learn how to eat on her own. i can't just "move her" away from that situation. what do i do?
or, when she gets angry, tired, whatever, she hits. i don't know if she knows it's hitting, or if she's just frustrated bc of whatever situation, and doesn't know how to communicate, and she just starts swatting (like if i'm holding her, she'll just start flailing hitting my face repeatedly).(also when she's done eating, she will hit the spoon away, with force, usually sending food everywhere). i'll tell her no and move her hand down, but she just gets angrier. what do i do?
i understand she's just 11 months old and a baby and has no communication skills... do i just let everything go? i don't want to raise a brat either. i sincerely don't know what i'm supposed to be doing at all. i'd love advice!

how do you teach a one year old discipline?

You can't really yet. Just keep going with the no. Ignore the tantrums....just make sure they are safe. My DS was a roller,thowing himself etc with tantrums. So I would just lay him down on the carpet and let him scream and cry. He would stop when he realized I wasn't reacting.

He is 21m and I started it e outs now

how do you teach a one year old discipline?

IGNORE. I'm positive they get a thrill in seeing you get agitated. I have yet to learn how to ignore which is why my dd also looks me straight in the eye and smirks as she doesn't something she knows she isn't supposed to do

how do you teach a one year old discipline?

our pediatrician recommended a book called, wait for the worst title ever, 1-2-3 MAGIC! Yea. I know, sounds cheesy, and it is pretty much is just counting to 3 then a quiet timeout theory. That being said, I found reading the book to be really helpful in coming up with a plan of what I wanted to do for discipline, and gave me actual guidelines (which i love) for when to count, how to do it, blah blah blah. We've been doing it for about 1.5-2 months, and it pretty much works. Yes, they get time outs (in their room/cribs), but after "counting" the same offense a few times, they now stop the behavior by the time I get to 2. I'd definitely recommend actually reading the book as it stresses important ideas like not engaging (which a lot of ladies mentioned) while counting or during a meltdown and using it to stop behavior, not encourage different behavior.

I'm still working on the whining and ripping bibs off (as with twins covered in yogurt during lunch it still seems insane to just put them in time out) as well, but I liked the simplicity of it and I definitely see it working, albeit it somewhat slowly on some behaviors :)

Re: how do you teach a one year old discipline?

I really could have written your post word for word. My 11-month-old DD laughs when I tell her no and then just repeats the behavior. I have no clue how to get her to understand what no means. I asked my ped about this yesterday and he just told me and my husband to "be consistent and be a team." Yeah, thanks! We've been doing that, it just doesn't seem to be clicking for DD yet.

She constantly throws food off the high chair, puts things in her mouth that she shouldn't and my favorite, flings herself backward on the changing table when I'm trying to get her dressed. When I tell her no, she repeats the behavior with even more gusto and a smile on her face.

My husband and I are terrified we've got a monster on our hands!

Re: how do you teach a one year old discipline?

Distract and redirect. I say no or we don't hit, don't touch and they mostly laugh at me thinking its a game and I take them away from whatever they are doing.

ETA for changing and dressing I have to give DD1 her brush while I change while holding both legs and the other poopy touching hand and I have to basically LAY on her so she can't get up when I put her pants/socks on. It's the only thing that works. She tries to stand on it and there is a shelf so she's too tall to stand. It's a battle.

For the feeding try teaching her the "all done" baby sign so she can communicate with you. I haven't taught mine. They either blow raspberries or turn their head when done. They basically feed themselves now though so they just stop shoveling.

Message edited 10/11/2013 9:31:20 AM.

Re: how do you teach a one year old discipline?

it's really hard at this age.

For the food throwing, I would end eating time. If she's hungry she will eat and not throw. If she's throwing then she's done.

1-2-3 works for my older dd but I'm not sure how it would with her as she is so young.

I would just say no, and redirect as the others have mentioned.

The tantrums I'm not sure about. DD is 3 and still thorows them, not at often but enough. She was also a head banger so we had to put her somewhere she was safe. We set the pnp up in the living room and for every fit she went in there.
Maybe designante a spot to put her and walk away that's safe. Try not to feed into it

Re: how do you teach a one year old discipline?

Read this article, its very progressive very gentle way to discipline, and very easy.


Toddler Discipline without Shame
http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/04/no-bad-kids-toddler-discipline-without-shame-9-guidelines/