How do you prepare yourself for a BFN after IVF?

I know I am weeks away from my implantation but, I keep freaking out about getting a BFN. After all that time and emotional energy put into this process it seems like it will be much harder to deal with even though I have been dealing with it for 2 years this time is different. I don't know how emotionally I am going to handle it. I am finding it hard to keep positive because I am trying to mentally prepare for the worst. Any ideas on how to keep calm and just go with the flow?

Re: How do you prepare yourself for a BFN after IVF?

its def hard. acupuncture and meditation def kept me sane during IVF. i tried not to be too positive or negative. i tried not to google too much. i tried to believe that if it was going to happen, it would happen, my chances were as good as any and we had no reason to believe it wouldn't work. nevertheless moments before i tested, when i was completely 50-50 on whether or not it worked, my heart was beating so fast i was lightheaded and i thought i might pass out. i made DH look at the stick because i just couldn't. thankfully, it had worked and now i have a beautiful 9m old baby girl.

honestly, IMO the hardest part of IVF is emotionally preparing. the needles, the side effects, the bloating, the ER and ET... none of that held a candle to the strength it takes to be emotionally sound during an IVF cycle. im not sure that anything I shared will help you, but when you are in the thick of things you will find your own way. if you don't you'll just drive yourself (and everyone around you) crazy. my only advice is to do whatever it takes to relax and be good to yourself. IVF is a big step but it's also not the end of the road. if an IVF fails, that doesn't mean you won't have a baby. even though mine worked on the first try i wish someone had told me that cause i think that is the hardest part mentally. it feels so much like if it doesn't work, that's it, but it's totally not. you get back up, dust yourself off, and try again... i know its easy for me to say that since it did work for me on the first try, but now that i am separated from the situation, i feel like i can view it more objectively and give that advice...

so now ill get off the and remind you to send me a link to this post in a few years or so when i'm trying for #2

Message edited 3/1/2012 11:32:54 AM.

Re: How do you prepare yourself for a BFN after IVF?

I just had a BFN from IVF about 1.5 weeks ago and I don't think there was anything I could have done to prepare myself. I knew it was 50-50. I knew at my transfer it probably wasn't going to work (our embies started to slow down on day 4). But when you've waited this long and prepared and hoped, you can't help but get your hopes up.

I was "lucky" in that I tested on a weekend when I was off on Monday. So I had 3 days to be sad at home, cry a lot and mourn this loss. But again, nothing could have prepared me for the BFN. After a few days, though, I decided I can't keep being sad. (Wine helps...a lot). And now I've just got my mind set on next month.

I hope it works for you the first time, though. Try to be positive b/c IVF really does give you your best odds in a single cycle. GL!

Re: How do you prepare yourself for a BFN after IVF?

THe thing is that I have no IF coverage. Not even my bloodwork or sonos is covered. So, I don't have the money to keep doing this if it fails. Which is much scarier.

Re: How do you prepare yourself for a BFN after IVF?

Re: How do you prepare yourself for a BFN after IVF?

Agree with Flowerwife. My mistake was thinking it definitely worked and once that implantation day came around I began to doubt the cycle. I also POAS like crazy which I would not advise to anyone, because it will drive you crazy. Try to relax. Eat some pineapple.

Re: How do you prepare yourself for a BFN after IVF?

Re: How do you prepare yourself for a BFN after IVF?

Re: How do you prepare yourself for a BFN after IVF?

I dont think there's any way to prepare for a BFN.. just know going into it that it's possible but may not work..
one this my accupuncturist told me (and it really helped me) was that how could something happen if you don't believe it could??
And it's so true, not trying to set you up for dissapointment, but really believe that it's possible and try to mentally prepare if it doesn't work.
Believe me, I know how hard it is. The precvious posters gave some great advice regarding medidation and accupuncture though.
Good luck!!

Re: How do you prepare yourself for a BFN after IVF?

We haven't started IVF yet. We still have to finish out this last IUI cycle (I'm in the 2ww). Of everything that comes with IVF- this is my number one fear. I usually exercise like a mad woman to de-stress but I can't do that with IVF. So I have no idea what to do.
I just wanted to offer some hugs

Re: How do you prepare yourself for a BFN after IVF?

The only way to prepare is to torture yourself into thinking it failed, which is counterproductive.

Rather than prepare, keep yourself distracted so you think about it as little as possible.

Re: How do you prepare yourself for a BFN after IVF?