How do you explain baby blues to DH?

DH doesn't understand it at all. He feels that I'm "giving" into it since I say there's nothing I can do about it. I mean I'm not laying around crying, I'm up, showering, going out, caring for DS, playing with DD etc but I still cry alot.

He thinks it's something you can fight. He can't understand why something so happy can make one so sad. I just don't know how to explain it - other than tell him to google it

ETA he's very supportive and helpful (didn't want it to come off the wrong way) but he's having a hard time understanding what I'm going through

Message edited 6/9/2008 9:15:30 AM.

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

I really don't think that there is any way to explain it to someone who hasn't experienced it themselves. I actually lost my very best friend (I thought she was anyway) b/c she said I was too negative and that since she didn't experience the baby blues or PPD with her son that she didn't believe it was even real...

Hang in there! And please let me know if you want to talk. I know I don't "know" you guys very well at all, but please know that I, unfortunately, have a LOT of experience in dealing with the baby blues and full blown PPD. So, I TOTALLY understand how you are feeling!

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

Tell him its Hormonal.

Then run off crying....

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

I would break down frequently and while sobbing exclaim, "I don't even know why I'm crying--nothing's wrong!!!!!" I could barely understand it, I wouldn't even attempt to explain to him. I don't think men understand hormones!

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

I'd take him to your next pediatrician appt, ask about PPD and make him listen!!

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

I would cry at happy things too. That is why he knew it was hormones. His friends wife sent me an email about how she felt when her first child was born and I let him read it. That helped a lot as well.

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

I think that anything that you personally don't experience is hard to understand...you're not connected to it...kwim? So I think he just needs to do some research to understand it but more than anything he has to trust in you and what you are feeling - that what you are experiencing is real and very normal.

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

All I have to say is thank goodness DH has 4 sisters.

They all let him know beforehand that he BETTER be super nice and understanding to me and he has.

But until you go through it or see someone you love go through it, I agree, there really is no way to make them understand.

Another thing that helped was that we were bombarded with PPD literature at the hospital, after we got back from the hospital, and from our insurance company, so it was always in DH's face.

He even commented on how he didn't realize how prevalent it was.

I'm very fortunate that DH is so understanding.

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

I think the only way to explain it is all the hormones your body has during the pregnancy have to come out.. and those hormones effect your mood and mind-set. When I had DD I was crying all the time for about 3 weeks- and then it subsided...

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

Posted by racheeeee

Tell him its Hormonal.

Then run off crying....

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

When I was going through my PPD someone gave me the book that Brooke Sheilds wrote and I have to say what a great book!! My husband didnt understand much either so after I read the book I went back and highlighted some important information and when I was done he read everything that I highlighted......I know that may sound stupid but it helped.

Other then that I would have had no clue how to explain it because I never really thought I understood it enough myself.

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

DH would tell me he loved me and I would tell him I loved him back..but SOBBED as I did it!! I also would laugh as I was crying because I had no idea why I was crying!!!!!!! I had it for a few days..then my OB called to see how I was feeling from the c-section and I started to cry as I was talking to him. He said that I was feeling is totally normal and that it would go away shortly. Hearing it from him made me feel 1,000 times better. When I would cry, DH would just come over and hug me and tell me that very soon I would be feeling like myself again...

You can't explain the Baby Blues....I tried to explain it and it made no sense to me as I was trying to explain it

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

its hard to explain feelings... I honestly didn't understand it, though I read about it, until I went through it.

My DH was a dr. & learned about it, but still didn't understand it until he saw me go through it. I talked to him a lot about it, about my feelings, about everything. I don't think they can truly understand - the best they can do is listen, not judge and support.

Re: How do you explain baby blues to DH?

I was "lucky" in a way... my house was under some construction in the beginning after we were discharged from the hospital... so I stayed with my parent's with DD, while DH dealt with the contractors and would come by and visit us at my parents. So I broke down to my mom (nightly) who I think understood a lot better than ANY man could. DH is sensitive enough, but it's definitely a "girl thing"...

That said... 6 weeks out and I still get sad when I think about the fact that I had to have a c-section and the disappointment of not delivering vaginally since I kind of set my expectations to go that way. Then BFing didn't work out - 2nd disappointment. I know logically these disappointments are no big deal, plenty of baby's are born via c-seciton, I myself was bottle/formula fed and I never had ear infections and I have a Master's degree so my IQ didn't suffer too badly (maybe I could have been Einstien, but whatever). However, emotionally these things are still tearing at my heart strings. I'm frustrated b/c of all the things I can't do b/c I'm still healing from the section. Overall I felt like my body and my baby let me down... I know that sounds awful (the latter part), I would never do anything harmful, but I did go through a little feeling of "disconnect" for a bit there... I felt like she wasn't really the baby I carried for 9 months - I felt like I was just caring for a baby, but didn't feel the connection - which led to guilt and more frustration. I've gotten past that a bit since she's been sleeping better and crying a little less and I see more of myself in her physical attributes. I think my hormones were prepared to do all this stuff and when it didn't happen the hormones were like "huh?". I never told DH the details of all this, b/c there's no way he'd understand... in fact he "thanks me" all the time for putting my body through Lovenox and the c-section to bring our baby into the world... no way would he get this.

Anyway, I know this is a lot, maybe more than necessary, but my advice... talk to your mom or best friend who has kids - any woman you are close to who has little one's who you won't feel will judge you. Oh and here's a from one mom to another...