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CatNYC123
Happy Thoughts
Member since 9/10 1531 total posts
Name:
Cathy
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How do you change the subject?
So I was at a work luncheon today and at the table (of 10) everyone keeps talking about their children and how rewarding it is to be a parent and blah blah blah.. I swear I think I attract this $hit.
But anyway.... I started thinking about all the uncomfortable discussions Ive been a part of lately and I want to find a way to politely change the subject without brining attention to the fact that I have no children. I dont want IF to be a topic and I dont want to share with my coworkers that we're trying.... I just dont want to talk about parenting anymore!!! 
Just curious, what do you say/do when the conversation about children is neverending?
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Posted 9/14/11 2:56 PM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
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Re: How do you change the subject?
The conversation can be neverending and can't be avoided. Just keep me out of it.
If I am asked uncomfortable questions; like what about you? Any kids? If not, why? I simply be as vague as possible w/ Im sure one day; dont think we're ready just yet; and just laugh it all off.
If they persist........I would say "like I said, I'm sure one day". And kinda just yes them and laugh most of it off.
You can always end it with a smile and a huge forkful of food in your mouth so you're not so quick to be forced to answer anything next. LOL
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| Posted 9/14/11 3:01 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: How do you change the subject?
I get this when im around my sister and her friends... unfortunately its ALL THE TIME because they are the people that i hang out with... yeah torture... lol
im positive that my sister told them all about whats going on with me... because she has a HUGE mouth... the last thing i need to hear is how "WE" have too many kids... "WE" need to stop having kids... yada yada...
i dont know how to change the subject... honestly... i just try to ignore it and walk away or have a one on one converstation with someone else!
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| Posted 9/14/11 3:11 PM |
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Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you change the subject?
I like to just talk about my drinking problem and how i love to go out and party all the time.
That way they assuming TTC is not in my mindset.
And what's funny is I rarely go out anymore, rarely drink even and would love to not drink for 9 months.
I feel like they're all part of a club I desperately want to be in. And furthermore when people complain about their lack of sleep and how it sucks so bad and "you'll see" I want to tell them to stfu and that I would love to not sleep just to have a baby.
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| Posted 9/14/11 3:30 PM |
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CatNYC123
Happy Thoughts
Member since 9/10 1531 total posts
Name:
Cathy
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Posted by Leb
I like to just talk about my drinking problem and how i love to go out and party all the time.
That way they assuming TTC is not in my mindset.
And what's funny is I rarely go out anymore, rarely drink even and would love to not drink for 9 months.
I feel like they're all part of a club I desperately want to be in. And furthermore when people complain about their lack of sleep and how it sucks so bad and "you'll see" I want to tell them to stfu and that I would love to not sleep just to have a baby.
my thoughts exactly.. i dnt party like i used to but I def lead them to believe ttc is not on my mind.. and yes, please STFU!!
i knew you girls would get it!
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| Posted 9/14/11 3:53 PM |
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PennyCat
Just call me mommy :)
Member since 7/08 19084 total posts
Name:
Jib
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Re: How do you change the subject?
This may sound bizarre, but there was a woman I used to work with who KNEW what I was going through and I found she would purposely bring things up just to see how I would react. She would show me pics of her grandson and talk about him endlessly......... and if it seemed like I was at all uncomfortable she would lecture me about being happy for others  Very weird..... I would always just politely say how cute he was and move on. 
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| Posted 9/14/11 4:06 PM |
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Angels04
LIF Infant
Member since 10/09 273 total posts
Name:
Ann
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Re: How do you change the subject?
I go through this all the time. I was hoping someone could answer this, as I don't have the answer. It is awful.
On top of dealing with this socially, me and DH went to look at new washing machines the other night. The guy would not leave us alone. Followed us everywhere. So while we were about to leave, he asks us how many will be using the machine. We tell him just us. The moron then says, "You mean you don't have any little ones? You must be empty nesters." We said, "No." Then he goes on to tell us how his daughter just went on to college and all his friends are empty nesters and he thought about having an empty nest party. What a jerk!
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| Posted 9/14/11 4:25 PM |
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Leb
LIF Adult
Member since 12/09 4166 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Posted by PennyCat
This may sound bizarre, but there was a woman I used to work with who KNEW what I was going through and I found she would purposely bring things up just to see how I would react. She would show me pics of her grandson and talk about him endlessly......... and if it seemed like I was at all uncomfortable she would lecture me about being happy for others Very weird..... I would always just politely say how cute he was and move on.
People are disgusting.
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| Posted 9/14/11 4:27 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Posted by PennyCat
This may sound bizarre, but there was a woman I used to work with who KNEW what I was going through and I found she would purposely bring things up just to see how I would react. She would show me pics of her grandson and talk about him endlessly......... and if it seemed like I was at all uncomfortable she would lecture me about being happy for others Very weird..... I would always just politely say how cute he was and move on.
that thought crossed my mind with my friend too... it might just be in my mind but i feel like she looks at me everytime she says it... im the only one without kids... but im not the only one to struggle... she herself struggled... 
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| Posted 9/14/11 4:33 PM |
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CatNYC123
Happy Thoughts
Member since 9/10 1531 total posts
Name:
Cathy
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Posted by Angels04
I go through this all the time. I was hoping someone could answer this, as I don't have the answer. It is awful.
On top of dealing with this socially, me and DH went to look at new washing machines the other night. The guy would not leave us alone. Followed us everywhere. So while we were about to leave, he asks us how many will be using the machine. We tell him just us. The moron then says, "You mean you don't have any little ones? You must be empty nesters." We said, "No." Then he goes on to tell us how his daughter just went on to college and all his friends are empty nesters and he thought about having an empty nest party. What a jerk!
What an @ss!! I dont think his nest is empty,
i think his head is! So sorry you had to hear that 
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| Posted 9/14/11 6:25 PM |
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CatNYC123
Happy Thoughts
Member since 9/10 1531 total posts
Name:
Cathy
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by PennyCat
This may sound bizarre, but there was a woman I used to work with who KNEW what I was going through and I found she would purposely bring things up just to see how I would react. She would show me pics of her grandson and talk about him endlessly......... and if it seemed like I was at all uncomfortable she would lecture me about being happy for others Very weird..... I would always just politely say how cute he was and move on.
that thought crossed my mind with my friend too... it might just be in my mind but i feel like she looks at me everytime she says it... im the only one without kids... but im not the only one to struggle... she herself struggled...
Really?! What is wrong with people... I could never understand why anyone would intentionally hurt another. but I guess some ppl feel like its a competition and get off on knowing they have something someone else doesn't.
People never cease to amaze me...
I guess it makes us stronger, right?
Ive definitely learned more about people thru this process!
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| Posted 9/14/11 6:28 PM |
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PitterPatter11
Baby Boy is Here!
Member since 5/11 7632 total posts
Name:
Momma <3
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Posted by CatNYC123
I dont want IF to be a topic and I dont want to share with my coworkers that we're trying.... I just dont want to talk about parenting anymore!!!
Do we work in the same place? I understand everyone I work with just had babies, but it is too much sometimes. This one woman I work with gushes about her almost 5 month old all the time. Talking about everything cute that her DC does. At this point, I just excuse myself when she starts talking. The worst part is this woman got pregnant while on BCPs - it is like rubbing salt in the wounds. We have been TTC for 13 cycles!!!!!
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| Posted 9/14/11 9:38 PM |
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CatNYC123
Happy Thoughts
Member since 9/10 1531 total posts
Name:
Cathy
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Posted by PitterPatter11
Posted by CatNYC123
I dont want IF to be a topic and I dont want to share with my coworkers that we're trying.... I just dont want to talk about parenting anymore!!!
Do we work in the same place? I understand everyone I work with just had babies, but it is too much sometimes. This one woman I work with gushes about her almost 5 month old all the time. Talking about everything cute that her DC does. At this point, I just excuse myself when she starts talking. The worst part is this woman got pregnant while on BCPs - it is like rubbing salt in the wounds. We have been TTC for 13 cycles!!!!!
i love it.. on BCP!!! Ive heard it all.. the best is when it's unexpected.. i have someone at work whos pg now... mom is in abusive relationship, keeps getting pg by the same guy (abuser) and she's had 2 totally healthy pregnancies.
Not that I wish her a bad pg... it's just that I feel bad for the poor child already coming into a bad situation.. when we've prepared in every way possible to be the perfect mom and have the perfect home and we keep coming up childless..
ok now Im ranting.. 
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| Posted 9/14/11 11:20 PM |
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LIRascal
drama. daily.
Member since 3/11 7287 total posts
Name:
Michelle
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Posted by PennyCat
This may sound bizarre, but there was a woman I used to work with who KNEW what I was going through and I found she would purposely bring things up just to see how I would react. She would show me pics of her grandson and talk about him endlessly......... and if it seemed like I was at all uncomfortable she would lecture me about being happy for others Very weird..... I would always just politely say how cute he was and move on.
Some people like my grandmother think that they are bringing you good juju by doing crap like this. Can I tell you how many times she's thrown holy water across my abdomen? She also shows me all of my cousins babies' pics- and they're all younger than me Like that's gonna make a difference.
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| Posted 9/14/11 11:55 PM |
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Most of my friends know my situation and most are pregnant/due soon/have kids. I know they don't bring anything up to upset me, it's just normal convo of what's going on in their lives. I chime in and join the convo. Then I look back and feel like a complete a$$ b/c I'm all like "when I have kids", "when I'm pregnant". They are probably like you have no clue what you are talking about b/c you don't and you're not. I go home and cry later, but chiming in is the the only way to cope and not cry then when they are all talking about it. If I stayed home and avoided them I think I'd feel worse.
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| Posted 9/15/11 11:35 AM |
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cateyemm
Twins!
Member since 7/10 8027 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Posted by Leb
I like to just talk about my drinking problem and how i love to go out and party all the time.
That way they assuming TTC is not in my mindset.
And what's funny is I rarely go out anymore, rarely drink even and would love to not drink for 9 months.
I would do the same- I still do since I'm not "out" yet. I talk about getting to go out to nice restaurants, clubs, drinking till all hours of the night (yeah like we even do that anymore ) and travelling. Then people usually say "you're so lucky! i wish i could go to a nice restaurant but these crazy kids..." and the tables have turned. It works every time.
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| Posted 9/15/11 11:39 AM |
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Some people like my grandmother think that they are bringing you good juju by doing crap like this. Can I tell you how many times she's thrown holy water across my abdomen? She also shows me all of my cousins babies' pics- and they're all younger than me Like that's gonna make a difference.
Holy water..there's a new trick 
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| Posted 9/15/11 12:11 PM |
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AngnShaun
Sisters
Member since 1/10 21015 total posts
Name:
Ang
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Posted by bringonthebaby
Some people like my grandmother think that they are bringing you good juju by doing crap like this. Can I tell you how many times she's thrown holy water across my abdomen? She also shows me all of my cousins babies' pics- and they're all younger than me Like that's gonna make a difference.
Holy water..there's a new trick
my neighbor gave me a small plastic bottle of holy water after my mom told her what was going on lol...
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| Posted 9/15/11 12:57 PM |
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Posted by AngnShaun
Posted by bringonthebaby
Some people like my grandmother think that they are bringing you good juju by doing crap like this. Can I tell you how many times she's thrown holy water across my abdomen? She also shows me all of my cousins babies' pics- and they're all younger than me Like that's gonna make a difference.
Holy water..there's a new trick
my neighbor gave me a small plastic bottle of holy water after my mom told her what was going on lol...
I do wear my St gerards medal on the back clasp of my necklace though.
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| Posted 9/15/11 1:08 PM |
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RGEC47
Feeling blessed!
Member since 11/09 3039 total posts
Name:
Rosa
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Re: How do you change the subject?
Posted by LIRascal
Posted by PennyCat
This may sound bizarre, but there was a woman I used to work with who KNEW what I was going through and I found she would purposely bring things up just to see how I would react. She would show me pics of her grandson and talk about him endlessly......... and if it seemed like I was at all uncomfortable she would lecture me about being happy for others Very weird..... I would always just politely say how cute he was and move on.
Some people like my grandmother think that they are bringing you good juju by doing crap like this. Can I tell you how many times she's thrown holy water across my abdomen? She also shows me all of my cousins babies' pics- and they're all younger than me Like that's gonna make a difference.
That's a new one. I hate it when we go to a baby shower and my mom insists I rub bellies with the preggo and make sure to sit in every seat she has sat in. Like pregnancy is contagious or something.
As far as changing the subject, I just let people know that it will happen when it happens. If they continue being insistant I repeat myself in a nasty manner. If they don't like it then they should not keep asking.
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| Posted 9/15/11 1:32 PM |
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