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Shop24-7
I love my little girl!
Member since 10/09 2026 total posts
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How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
DD is 23 months old and she is VERY close to my mother. My parents watch her when I am at work. Last week, my mom went into the hospital for a stem cell transplant and will not be able to return home for atleast 3 weeks. During this time, she is unable to see DD.
For the first few days, DD was ok staying with my dad while I was at work. She didn't ask for my mom. We set my mom up with Skype and she was able to speak to DD via the computer several times. Yesterday, I went with DD & DH to the hospital to visit my mom.
DH stayed with DD in the visitor's lounge while I visited my mom. We tried to Skype with DD & my mom but DD looked upset. She did not want to see my mom on the screen. Before we left the hospital, the nurse let us bring DD to the glass doors at the end of the transplant unit and my mom was able to see DD throught the doors. DD was so happy to see my mom, she was laughing, playing "hide" with my mom, and waving to her. It appeared that DD was ok.
This morning, I dropped DD off with my dad before going to work. My father called me a few hours later to tell me that DD was asking for my mom and crying. I am heartbroken!!! My dad & DD called my mom but that didn't seem to help. What do I do????
I should also mention that last night, DD woke up around midnight and was hysterical. When I went to her, she wanted to be picked up and she kept asking to go to our room. She wanted to sleep with me & DH. Prior to my mom going to ther hospital, DD was ok with STTN in her own bed. Since my mom went into the hospital, DD has been in our bed for 3 nights!!
I am so upset for DD but I do not know what to do for her. There is no way she can visit with my mom until my mother comes home and, even then, visits will have to be short and limited. I am so heartbroken for her!!! Any advice is desperately welcomed!!!
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Posted 7/16/12 1:34 PM  |
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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
Name:
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How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
Not everyone agrees with me, but I believe in honesty, and I believe our little ones understand much more than we think. I would tell her that her grandma is not feeling well. She has a boo boo and the doctors need to take care of her and she needs to stay with them right now. she will be better soon, and DD will see her then and can play with her again.
She probably just doesn't know what's going on and is upset and confused. i'd let her sleep with you if she needs it right now. i've been sick/hospitalized with young kids, and my kids seemed to understand and were careful with me. Same for when my dad has had some surgeries.
i hope your mom is better really soon!!
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| Posted 7/16/12 1:55 PM |
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Re: How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
Posted by mamabear
Not everyone agrees with me, but I believe in honesty, and I believe our little ones understand much more than we think. I would tell her that her grandma is not feeling well. She has a boo boo and the doctors need to take care of her and she needs to stay with them right now. she will be better soon, and DD will see her then and can play with her again.
She probably just doesn't know what's going on and is upset and confused. i'd let her sleep with you if she needs it right now. i've been sick/hospitalized with young kids, and my kids seemed to understand and were careful with me. Same for when my dad has had some surgeries.
i hope your mom is better really soon!!
ITA. You can have her make pictures or cookies for G-ma.
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| Posted 7/16/12 2:00 PM |
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PrettyPeonies
GAW my baby boy <3
Member since 8/10 3874 total posts
Name:
Pino
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Re: How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
Posted by mamabear
Not everyone agrees with me, but I believe in honesty, and I believe our little ones understand much more than we think. I would tell her that her grandma is not feeling well. She has a boo boo and the doctors need to take care of her and she needs to stay with them right now. she will be better soon, and DD will see her then and can play with her again.
She probably just doesn't know what's going on and is upset and confused. i'd let her sleep with you if she needs it right now. i've been sick/hospitalized with young kids, and my kids seemed to understand and were careful with me. Same for when my dad has had some surgeries.
i hope your mom is better really soon!!
Im completely crashing but wanted to say that I agree w/this. A lot of crazy things happened in my family from around the time I was your DD age until I was a preteen. No one ever explained anything to me, they just tried to put me in "blinders". Now I'm not trying to say your situation is like mine, I just agree that kids pick up and are more aware of things than I think adults are comfortable w/dealing with. maybe just being as honest and open as you can on her level will help her w/any confusion and or anxiety.
Keeping your mom in my 
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| Posted 7/16/12 2:15 PM |
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wingsofsong
My 3 little loves <3<3<3
Member since 1/09 7395 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
Posted by mamabear
Not everyone agrees with me, but I believe in honesty, and I believe our little ones understand much more than we think. I would tell her that her grandma is not feeling well. She has a boo boo and the doctors need to take care of her and she needs to stay with them right now. she will be better soon, and DD will see her then and can play with her again.
She probably just doesn't know what's going on and is upset and confused. i'd let her sleep with you if she needs it right now. i've been sick/hospitalized with young kids, and my kids seemed to understand and were careful with me. Same for when my dad has had some surgeries.
i hope your mom is better really soon!!
Completely agree!!
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| Posted 7/16/12 2:16 PM |
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rkl1130
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 1476 total posts
Name:
Rose Ann
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Re: How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
Posted by mamabear
Not everyone agrees with me, but I believe in honesty, and I believe our little ones understand much more than we think. I would tell her that her grandma is not feeling well. She has a boo boo and the doctors need to take care of her and she needs to stay with them right now. she will be better soon, and DD will see her then and can play with her again.
She probably just doesn't know what's going on and is upset and confused. i'd let her sleep with you if she needs it right now. i've been sick/hospitalized with young kids, and my kids seemed to understand and were careful with me. Same for when my dad has had some surgeries.
i hope your mom is better really soon!!
ITA!
We don't always realize how much a child understands and what they understand, but they are incredibly receptive and can surprise you.
Be honest with her because she probably has caught on that there's something wrong. Like it was said - tell her that grandma has a boo boo and doesn't feel well so she's at the doctor's. Make an activity of it and make a card or a simple drawing together that she can give grandma. This makes them feel involved.
I hope your mom gets better really soon!
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| Posted 7/16/12 2:17 PM |
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MySunshine
In love with my Baby Boy
Member since 3/11 2783 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
Posted by wingsofsong
Posted by mamabear
Not everyone agrees with me, but I believe in honesty, and I believe our little ones understand much more than we think. I would tell her that her grandma is not feeling well. She has a boo boo and the doctors need to take care of her and she needs to stay with them right now. she will be better soon, and DD will see her then and can play with her again.
She probably just doesn't know what's going on and is upset and confused. i'd let her sleep with you if she needs it right now. i've been sick/hospitalized with young kids, and my kids seemed to understand and were careful with me. Same for when my dad has had some surgeries.
i hope your mom is better really soon!!
Completely agree!!
I agree with this as well.
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| Posted 7/16/12 2:27 PM |
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How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
I also agree with the pp, but I would limit the contact with her to maybe Skype and the phone. It has to be hard being so close to her and not being allowed to actually be with her. My DD is 2.5 and I know that if she talks to my mom it's over that's all she wants, and if she saw her and couldn't be with her she would freak out. Maybe encourage her to make pictures and stuff for Grandma so that way she feels involved. Good luck and lots of hope she recovers quickly
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| Posted 7/16/12 2:33 PM |
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Shop24-7
I love my little girl!
Member since 10/09 2026 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
Thanks everyone! I completely agree with being honest with her and you have all given me some great ideas on how to explain it to her. I like the idea if making cards for her too. Thanks for the suggestions and prayers!!
One more question ...... My mom just called me and she is so upset for DD. She thinks it's best that she no longer skype with DD and just wait till she gets home (in 3 weeks!). I don't agree with my mom.... What do you think?
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| Posted 7/16/12 2:34 PM |
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mamabear
LIF Adult
Member since 3/08 4539 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
Posted by Shop24-7
Thanks everyone! I completely agree with being honest with her and you have all given me some great ideas on how to explain it to her. I like the idea if making cards for her too. Thanks for the suggestions and prayers!!
One more question ...... My mom just called me and she is so upset for DD. She thinks it's best that she no longer skype with DD and just wait till she gets home (in 3 weeks!). I don't agree with my mom.... What do you think?
I would take it one step at a time. Have a conversation with your daughter, see how she reacts, and asks if she wants to see her on the computer. If she says yes, try it out again, and have your mom talk about being in the hospital, the nice doctors taking care of her, she's getting better every day, etc. If your mom acts totally normal and doesn't acknowledge what's going on, DD might not get why she looks fine and seems fine, but people are telling her she's not fine, kwim?
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| Posted 7/16/12 2:52 PM |
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sfp0701
Liam's Mommy!
Member since 1/07 9764 total posts
Name:
Tricia
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Re: How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
I was in the hospital for a while recently and we went through this with DS. There isn't much you do. Just coddle her. Let her come into your bed and just explain that she is sick and the dr.'s are making her feel better. Have her draw pics for Grandma and do some special things with her. She will move on and never remember this. But, she may act out now. Liam is still recovering and acting out a bit. If I leave him he asks if I am sick again. 
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| Posted 7/16/12 2:54 PM |
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emeraldeyez
LIF Infant
Member since 10/07 351 total posts
Name:
mommy
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Re: How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
My husband had a stem cell transplant in February and DS's were 24 months and 4 months old at that time. My 2 year old had terrible sleeping habits while my husband was in the hospital and skyping never really did much for him...it was hard to get him to stop running around to talk to daddy. it was more for my husband. since he has been home he is back to his usual self (after some time readjusting). Your daughter can be around your mom as long as no one is sick..and I wouldn't visit for a few days after being in a group gathering like a birthday party or large gathering...just in case she might catch something. It's hard to be stringent but I don't really take my kids anywhere for the fear of bringing germs back into the house. When DH's immune system is repaired I can be a little more relaxed. Best wishes to your mom and I hope she has a speedy recovery.
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| Posted 7/17/12 2:32 PM |
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Shop24-7
I love my little girl!
Member since 10/09 2026 total posts
Name:
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Re: How do I explain this to my almost 2 year old?
Posted by emeraldeyez
My husband had a stem cell transplant in February and DS's were 24 months and 4 months old at that time. My 2 year old had terrible sleeping habits while my husband was in the hospital and skyping never really did much for him...it was hard to get him to stop running around to talk to daddy. it was more for my husband. since he has been home he is back to his usual self (after some time readjusting). Your daughter can be around your mom as long as no one is sick..and I wouldn't visit for a few days after being in a group gathering like a birthday party or large gathering...just in case she might catch something. It's hard to be stringent but I don't really take my kids anywhere for the fear of bringing germs back into the house. When DH's immune system is repaired I can be a little more relaxed. Best wishes to your mom and I hope she has a speedy recovery.
Thanks so much for the input. Lots of  and for you and your family. I know how difficult this procedure is (this is my mom's second transplant - her first one was in 2007). I hope your husband is feeling well and that the transplant was a success!
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| Posted 7/17/12 3:42 PM |
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