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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
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Holidays with family how do you split it?
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Message edited 10/19/2009 12:26:37 PM.
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Posted 10/19/09 10:30 AM  |
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Mkr09
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Member since 5/05 7550 total posts
Name:
M
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Re: Holidays with family how do you split it?
My parents are divorced and I have 3 sisters....DH's parents are still together and he is an only child.
It actually worked out really well for us. DH's family does a big thing on Christmas Eve, whereas my family just goes out to dinner at a restaurant. So we spend Xmas eve with my ILs.
Christmas Day we wake up, open presents, and then head to my father's for bagels, donuts...etc. We stay there for a an hour or 2 and then we head to my mom's. All of my sisters go to my dads and then they all stop back at my mom's house throughout the day.
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| Posted 10/19/09 10:41 AM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Holidays with family how do you split it?
I am not my MIL's biggest fan, but if she lived here, I would invite her to holidays. It isn't fun, but it is the right thing to do, KWIM?
As for us, 99% of the holidays we spend with my family. Thanksgiving we go to my SIL's (DH's sister) Christmas we have a rotation-this year is my aunt, next year is us, the year after my cousin. Chris and I stepped in for my parents' year.
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| Posted 10/19/09 10:45 AM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holidays with family how do you split it?
Posted by KateDevine
I am not my MIL's biggest fan, but if she lived here, I would invite her to holidays. It isn't fun, but it is the right thing to do, KWIM?
As for us, 99% of the holidays we spend with my family. Thanksgiving we go to my SIL's (DH's sister) Christmas we have a rotation-this year is my aunt, next year is us, the year after my cousin. Chris and I stepped in for my parents' year.
See that is how we have been - we have been inviting her anyway - but she has been insulting my parents, or starting a fight with DH. DH is the one who is often like lets NOT invite her - but he doesn't want to talk about it with his brother b.c he knows he won't get anywhere.
We would just have everyone over to our home but we have cats and not everyone can be around them (BIL's kids have severe cat allergies as well as some of my family) so we can't host as long as we have them.
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| Posted 10/19/09 10:51 AM |
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KateDevine
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Member since 6/06 24950 total posts
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Re: Holidays with family how do you split it?
Posted by Lillykat
Posted by KateDevine
I am not my MIL's biggest fan, but if she lived here, I would invite her to holidays. It isn't fun, but it is the right thing to do, KWIM?
As for us, 99% of the holidays we spend with my family. Thanksgiving we go to my SIL's (DH's sister) Christmas we have a rotation-this year is my aunt, next year is us, the year after my cousin. Chris and I stepped in for my parents' year.
See that is how we have been - we have been inviting her anyway - but she has been insulting my parents, or starting a fight with DH. DH is the one who is often like lets NOT invite her - but he doesn't want to talk about it with his brother b.c he knows he won't get anywhere.
We would just have everyone over to our home but we have cats and not everyone can be around them (BIL's kids have severe cat allergies as well as some of my family) so we can't host as long as we have them.
I do understand, my DH would be the same as yours (and is, hasn't spoken ot his mom since she flat left us in July, but I digress)
Would it be worse to NOT invite her? Like it sounds like she would show up and make a scene anyway...
What about maybe having one holiday lke Thanksgiving out, would she pull this crap in public?
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| Posted 10/19/09 10:54 AM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Holidays with family how do you split it?
I'm always one to try to do the right thing, but there's a limit.
Fighting with your DH is bad enough, but insulting your parents??  I'm sorry but that crosses the line. It's not cruel to not invite someone who will insult their hosts and embarrass you.
I would invite her for one holiday and let her fend for herself for the rest. If she asks why, tell her plainly.
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| Posted 10/19/09 11:20 AM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: Holidays with family how do you split it?
Posted by KateDevine
Posted by Lillykat
Posted by KateDevine
I am not my MIL's biggest fan, but if she lived here, I would invite her to holidays. It isn't fun, but it is the right thing to do, KWIM?
As for us, 99% of the holidays we spend with my family. Thanksgiving we go to my SIL's (DH's sister) Christmas we have a rotation-this year is my aunt, next year is us, the year after my cousin. Chris and I stepped in for my parents' year.
See that is how we have been - we have been inviting her anyway - but she has been insulting my parents, or starting a fight with DH. DH is the one who is often like lets NOT invite her - but he doesn't want to talk about it with his brother b.c he knows he won't get anywhere.
We would just have everyone over to our home but we have cats and not everyone can be around them (BIL's kids have severe cat allergies as well as some of my family) so we can't host as long as we have them.
I do understand, my DH would be the same as yours (and is, hasn't spoken ot his mom since she flat left us in July, but I digress)
Would it be worse to NOT invite her? Like it sounds like she would show up and make a scene anyway...
What about maybe having one holiday lke Thanksgiving out, would she pull this crap in public?
We usually go to my parents country club - which is partly why it is awkward b.c we have to ask for her to be invited when my stepgrandfather hosts it. I don't know that she would just show up - but she is kind of um - crazy (literally) so maybe. I know she has driven by our house to see if we are home when DH tells her we can't get together. The problem is that DD#1 is NOT sitting for long these days and the club is a good.
BIL sometimes tells her they are spending the holiday with FIL so they don't have to see her - FIL and MIL can't be in the same room together and FIL lives out of state. DH won't lie to his mother though and she knows we wouldn't go to FIL's.
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| Posted 10/19/09 11:37 AM |
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Stefanie
♥
Member since 5/05 23599 total posts
Name:
Stefanie
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Re: Holidays with family how do you split it?
My IL's are divorced. My FIL isn't remarried at the moment but has a girlfriend.
Christmas eve we spend it with my MIL at my SIL's house. We have a small dinner and then go to my dh's aunt's house where we see my FIL and my dh's side of the family. MIL gets invited but never comes.
We see my family on Christmas day.
Thanksgiving, I cook and have my own family over.
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| Posted 10/19/09 11:43 AM |
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Re: Holidays with family how do you split it?
I host Christmas so both families are invited and who ever can come, comes and who can't, can't. Christmas eve we stay home and it is just us since we live OOS from our family.
Thanksgiving we go to one side and Easter we go to the family. We did the whole splitting of the holidays when we were dating and we vowed not to do when we were married. It is too much. DH's brother and his wife do it but her family and my IL's live in a 1 mile radius so it isn't a big deal for them.
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| Posted 10/19/09 11:44 AM |
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