He's figured out Ferber...

It just no longer works on him...

Im trying so hard to get him out of the habit of coming into our bed in the middle of the night (Yes this is still going on since our vacation in FEBRUARY )

As I posted a few days ago, he has been waking up very early, and Im starting to believe it is in fact because he is in our bedroom.. We roll around, move him over, and since he is a light sleeper, he wakes up and then cant go back to bed...

So a couple of nights ago, I started the whole CIO process...he's just not taking to it like he did previuosly... He just isnt getting the whole concept of "this is NOT how I get to go in mommys bed.."(actually if anything- he knows that if he dosent let down his guard he will in fact win!) He is not even close to reaching level 10 crying- but he dosent stop... last night he was on and off for 2 hours (and then I finally gave in, and let him sleep with me) I know I dont help the situation by not being consistent, but I have to go to work in the morning... and after already been up 2 hours...I just wanted to go to sleep!

I also tried, rocking him back to sleep... he falls asleep in my arms, and as soon as I put him down, he wakes right back up!


Its like as soon as midnight hits, he is up every 2hrs to be with me... (Thats truely what it is, for if I bring him in my bed, or lay with him on the couch, he's out cold within seconds!)

I will say I started giving him a later nap- and putting him to bed @ 7-730 vs. the 6-630, with the hopes he would sleep in a little bit... but sleeping in hasnt helped at all... and I know keeping him up past his desired bedtime, could be part of my problem ( however he's not losing sleep, because I am giving him that extra nap- and he does like that extra nap...
)

I just dont know what to do... the easy way out is to just let him sleep with me- but NO ONE gets a great nights sleep when that happens...

Re: He's figured out Ferber...

Don't give up. I know it is hard but in the long run it will be best for everyone. I say try it through the weekend and see what happens.

Hang in there and maybe this weekend your DH can help?

Re: He's figured out Ferber...

I can only say what I've observed with my daughter, which in no way means it will be the same for you, but its something to consider.

I found that a later bedtime never led to a later wake up time. I've tried it numerous times, for as long as a week, and while one or two days she might sleep a bit later, she always slipped back to her original wake up time.

Sounds like you've already decided that you are done with co-sleeping. If thats the case, then, as you've said -- you have to be consistent. I know how hard that is in the middle of the night, but you are reinforcing the night wakings by giving in after two hours.

Re: He's figured out Ferber...

I agree with Calla. I've tried putting Jake to bed later to try and get an extra hour in the am on weekends but it never works and I just end up with an overtired baby the next day.

The best advice I can give is - first step is to move his bedtime back up to an earlier time. Make sure he is napping well during the day and then, as you already know, comes the hard part - be consistent. It could take a few weeks. Even though he pretty much developed this habit overnight, it'll probably take much longer to break it.

Not too long ago, Jake started waking up at 5am instead of his usual 6am. He wasn't crying - just up and ready to play. He continued it for about two weeks but I never went in to get him until 6am. It took him that long to realize that hey, no matter what time I get up, they aren't coming in to get me until 6 anyway, so I may as well sleep.

When you want to go in there and get him just try to remember that you really are doing what's best for him by ignoring his fussing or letting him CIO because a) he needs uninterrupted night sleep b) he needs to learn to fall asleep by himself c) his parents need their sleep too!

Bringing him to your bed where no one is resting well is not helping anyone like you said - that's what you have to tell yourself. I would also add that maybe you can take a mon and a fri off from work so you can have a long weekend to let him CIO, get yourself some rest, and watch his naps.

Good luck!

Re: He's figured out Ferber...

I agree w/ you and plan on returning to our reg. bed time routine tonight!

What am I supposed to do though.....after 2 hrs on and off of crying/whining, just keep on letting it go... it sounds so cruel

Re: He's figured out Ferber...

Posted by Princessmaris

I agree w/ you and plan on returning to our reg. bed time routine tonight!

What am I supposed to do though.....after 2 hrs on and off of crying/whining, just keep on letting it go... it sounds so cruel

Re: He's figured out Ferber...

Posted by mommy2bellabean

Posted by Princessmaris

I agree w/ you and plan on returning to our reg. bed time routine tonight!

What am I supposed to do though.....after 2 hrs on and off of crying/whining, just keep on letting it go... it sounds so cruel

That's what we did for the four days we tried to break the swaddle...it is soooo hard.

We had an easier solution because all she wants to be is swaddled...and everyone keeps saying there is no harm. But if she wakes up now, she is on her own...

As for him sleeping with you, he needs to realize that no matter how long he goes on whining you aren't going to give in. At this age, they know. And he knows if he carries on enough, he will get what he wants. It's battle of wills...

Good Luck Marissa, sleeping problems are so hard

Re: He's figured out Ferber...

Message edited 4/6/2006 5:27:05 PM.

Re: He's figured out Ferber...

I know it is so hard right now to hear your little one crying to be with you. My husband and I were just saying how hard it was but how it was SO worth it to have a great night sleep ourselves. It is hard but be consistant and try as hard as you can to not give in and you all will be sleeping well soon enough. Good Luck!!

Re: He's figured out Ferber...

Posted by Princessmaris

I agree w/ you and plan on returning to our reg. bed time routine tonight!

What am I supposed to do though.....after 2 hrs on and off of crying/whining, just keep on letting it go... it sounds so cruel

Message edited 4/7/2006 9:11:02 AM.