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Have American parents got it all backwards?

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lcherian
He is the reason!

Member since 2/06

2512 total posts

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Have American parents got it all backwards?

Interesting article that I wanted to share. Chat Icon

Linky

Posted 5/9/13 3:52 PM
 
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buttercup
St. Jude pray for us...

Member since 1/11

2951 total posts

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Re: Have American parents got it all backwards?

great article.. and i was nodding my head with most of it. I particularly agree with "Instead of keeping children satisfied, we need to fuel their feelings of frustration" and whole line about instant gratification. And the "spoiling the baby"... love it!

Thanks for sharing!

Posted 5/9/13 3:58 PM
 

meloyellow
LIF Adult

Member since 3/13

1843 total posts

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Re: Have American parents got it all backwards?

I find that my views are often very different from alot of people around me when it comes to how i parent. We co-slept until 3 weeks ago (21 months), We don't hover Although I do pay attention to make sure he's not endangering or hurting another child and if i do see that i rush over and correct it. I let him climb, I let him eat with his hands if he wants to, I don't stress too much. Just yesterday my son decided to use sidewalk chalk ALL OVER my floors. most moms would have lost their mind. I almost did for a second...and then i shrugged my shoulders and said "ehh I needed to mop anyway" it wasn't worth getting upset or yelling over. I let him climb things. I let him be independent and fully believe he is capable of more than alot of people give their kids credit for. I have on occasion noticed other moms at the park looking at my son...worried that he's on the slide and i'm not hovering over him...but i'm watching and I know he can get up the stairs and down the slide perfectly fine and he gets a sense of accomplishment from doing it without my help.

BUT I don't think we can let children run around playing free in the streets without supervision anymore. not in the U.S anyway. too many predators abducting children nowadays. it seems there is a new report every day

Posted 5/9/13 4:06 PM
 

MrsG72907
Mommy of 2 girls!

Member since 5/10

2046 total posts

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Re: Have American parents got it all backwards?

Chat Icon Chat Icon Chat Icon Great article! I've also been wanting to read the why french kids eat everything book.

Posted 5/9/13 4:44 PM
 

ISpoilHim
I think I got this

Member since 11/10

1523 total posts

Name:
K

Have American parents got it all backwards?

I'm a lot more laid back than most parents I know with kids the same age - 19 months. I have no problem letting my son in his playroom to do as he wishes. It's a safe place for him to be a boy. I let him walk around and play with the dog. He wants to climb the couch, go ahead. My husband is always saying no. My feeling is that my son will figure it out. I watch and observe but don't hover. He is independent and can entertain himself for quite a while by himself.
When I was growing up we left the house at 8 am and came home when the sunset. Once in a while we would check in.

IMO there are no more predators today than there were years ago we just talk about it more today than we did then.

Posted 5/9/13 4:54 PM
 

Xelindrya
Mommy's little YouTube Star!

Member since 8/05

14470 total posts

Name:
Veronica

Have American parents got it all backwards?

love it

I tell my kiddo often that life is full of disappointments
I co slept and loved it
My kiddo tore apart her cake top at her party while others gasped because it was so pretty. I said "I dont care, I got photos and I can't save it forever, let her have fun and them too" as her friends joined.

I get strange looks but my kiddo is fine. Uses knives daily but they taught that at SCHOOL! haha

Posted 5/9/13 8:48 PM
 

Peainapod
Peanuts are here!

Member since 1/09

13591 total posts

Name:
Diana

Re: Have American parents got it all backwards?

my husband laughs sometimes when Im giving DS choices over lets say, which granola bar he wants or what snack.
My DH says "he's 3, just pick one for him" and im like "he's 3..he can understand what he wants and choose..." even though it may take a few minutes..lol.

I'll let him pick his shirt out for the day. Or what jacket he wants to wear etc. Making decisions for himself.

DS sometimes has a heart attack if he cant fix his train tracks and will start screaming. and i've had to show him not to get so upset, but to try again. and he's getting it. rather than me running to fix the damn things all the time.

I agree with a lot in this article. thanks for sharing!

Posted 5/9/13 9:01 PM
 

NewMrsG
Love my GiGi

Member since 12/11

1442 total posts

Name:
Mrs. G

Have American parents got it all backwards?

very interesting read!

Posted 5/9/13 9:06 PM
 

MissJones
I need a nap!

Member since 5/05

22133 total posts

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Have American parents got it all backwards?

ThankYouForSharing.

Posted 5/10/13 6:02 AM
 

Jax430
Hi!

Member since 5/05

18919 total posts

Name:
Jackie

Re: Have American parents got it all backwards?

Posted by buttercup

great article.. and i was nodding my head with most of it. I particularly agree with "Instead of keeping children satisfied, we need to fuel their feelings of frustration" and whole line about instant gratification. And the "spoiling the baby"... love it!

Thanks for sharing!



I read this a few days ago, and this was my favorite part as well. Kids need to experience frustration in order to develop coping skills!

Posted 5/10/13 8:25 AM
 

Jugglemom
LIF Adolescent

Member since 3/12

809 total posts

Name:

Re: Have American parents got it all backwards?

I don't know...some of these I agree with and already practice and others I don't. Parenting is not a one size fits all thing and no one has all the answers. Even the so called experts can't agree on which style or approach is best.

While I love learning about what other cultures do etc. I am getting tired of the seemingly growing sentiment that everything we do here in the U.S.is inferior or somehow worse than in Europe or Asia. The U.S. is so varied with such a plethora of cultures and backgrounds that it is difficult to compare it to other countries that have lower rates of immigration and diversity.

Posted 5/10/13 9:01 AM
 

KatiNoE
LIF Adolescent

Member since 8/11

702 total posts

Name:
Kati

Re: Have American parents got it all backwards?

I great article. We don't have to use it as a bible but certainly something to think about.

I have the audiobook or Bringing Up Bebe by Pamela Druckerman and really enjoyed it. She talks a lot about some of the same ideas.

Posted 5/10/13 11:03 AM
 

Jenny614
LIF Adult

Member since 1/11

1065 total posts

Name:
Jen

Re: Have American parents got it all backwards?

I find this very interesting and I agree with most of it, especially since I was raised by immigrant parents. However, unfortunately, it is not always possible to allow our children certain freedoms as they do in other countries or even as they did years ago in America. The world is a scary place and I wall always worry about them and want to protect them even when they are older. On the other hand, I really do try to refrain from giving Raya everything she wants right when she wants it, even though it is really hard when the tears start streaming downChat Icon She does get frustrated and screams and her face gets red, but I will sometimes just try to calm her down and tell her to breathe and relax...I dont know, I guess I just want her to learn to get through the frustration without getting what she wants. She's my baby and I want her to be happy always but I dont want to set her up for disaster either when she has to face the world..

Posted 5/10/13 12:34 PM
 

GioiaMia
Let's Go Rangers!

Member since 1/07

14818 total posts

Name:

Re: Have American parents got it all backwards?

Posted by Jugglemom

While I love learning about what other cultures do etc. I am getting tired of the seemingly growing sentiment that everything we do here in the U.S.is inferior or somehow worse than in Europe or Asia. The U.S. is so varied with such a plethora of cultures and backgrounds that it is difficult to compare it to other countries that have lower rates of immigration and diversity.



Chat Icon

Posted 5/10/13 12:37 PM
 

Sparrow
LIF Adult

Member since 11/10

6826 total posts

Name:

Re: Have American parents got it all backwards?

I agree with a lot of this but not all. I'm not a huge fan of letting the kids learn by injuring themselves. The potential for brain trauma is just too scary for me. I really try not to hover too much but I can't just let DD go and do whatever she wants.

I also don't know if there are any more child molesters around than there were in the past but I still can't imagine letting kids roam around unattended like when we were growing up. I am sad that DD's childhood won't have many of the same "fun" times that mine had but it just seems too scary these days.

Posted 5/10/13 12:41 PM
 

Sparrow
LIF Adult

Member since 11/10

6826 total posts

Name:

Re: Have American parents got it all backwards?

Posted by GioiaMia

Posted by Jugglemom

While I love learning about what other cultures do etc. I am getting tired of the seemingly growing sentiment that everything we do here in the U.S.is inferior or somehow worse than in Europe or Asia. The U.S. is so varied with such a plethora of cultures and backgrounds that it is difficult to compare it to other countries that have lower rates of immigration and diversity.



Chat Icon



I have to also agree.

Posted 5/10/13 12:42 PM
 

Mariabella
LIF Adult

Member since 4/10

951 total posts

Name:
Mama

Re: Have American parents got it all backwards?

Posted by Sparrow

Posted by GioiaMia

Posted by Jugglemom

While I love learning about what other cultures do etc. I am getting tired of the seemingly growing sentiment that everything we do here in the U.S.is inferior or somehow worse than in Europe or Asia. The U.S. is so varied with such a plethora of cultures and backgrounds that it is difficult to compare it to other countries that have lower rates of immigration and diversity.



Chat Icon



I have to also agree.



Agree!Chat Icon

Posted 5/10/13 2:48 PM
 
 

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