Guardianship...

Although we are not pg yet we have been talking about guardianship a lot lately. It's such a tough decision to make, who should take care of your children should you and your significant other are unable to.

DH and I both agree the guardians should be out of our sibilings. I have one sister and he has one sister one brother.

I have been rooting for my sister and bil. They have 2 beautiful children already. Own a gorgeous home. And I watch them pass on excellent morals and values to their children.

His sister is 27, umarried, living with her parents. That doesn't seem too stable to me!

And his brother is 17, graduating High School and going off to college.

Am I wrong for feeling my sister is truly the only option?? Did anyone else go through this??

Re: Guardianship...

One thing to consider is if the person you ask wants to accept that responsibility as well. We are the appointed guardians for my niece and nephew (if something should happen to my SIL and BIL). Before accepting the responsibilty my DH and I thought long and hard about it. I think you need to ask yourself if a 17 year old would even want that responsibilty....

Re: Guardianship...

Re: Guardianship...

I have kids already and my choice in your situation would be easy - your sister & BIL. It's not a popularity contest and IMO is a far more important choice than, ie, who will be Godparents. You have to say to yourself - if something happened to both of us, who would raise our child(ren) the way we want? A sister who has no children and no responsibility that you can reference vs. a sister and BIL who have parenting skills and raise their kids they way you'd want yours raised? Im not saying you have to already have children to be a guardian - certainly plenty of childless singles can be very capable guardians - but given the choice between the options you mentioned, I would opt for the ones with experience and parenting style you can reference. The 17 y.o. wouldnt even be a consideration.

Message edited 5/7/2006 7:38:01 AM.

Re: Guardianship...

It would seem like you sister is the better choice at this point. My brother and sister-in-law always wanted me to be their childrens guardian, however, I wasn't married when they first started to discuss this and I was still in college (senior yr) What they did was write a clause in that as long as I had graduated from college (my brother is an attorney so he was able to word it properly) they felt that if something should happen before I finished my senior year that I should have the opportunity to finish my education (that is somethign they both strongly feel) so in that case the children would've went to my parents, however, now that I am married they are reworking the will to state just my DH and I. They asked us to think about it again (since the last time it was solely my decision) and while it is a lot to take on, I wouldn't want those boys to go anywhere else but with me. I feel as though I could keep their parents spirit alive god forbid anything ever happened to them and I have loved those boys since the first day they were born and my DH completely understands that and fully supports that decision to take them on. Hopefully it will never come to that, but I know that my brother and sil would be at peace knowing that the boys are with people who wanted them as opposed to just "doing the right thing"

Re: Guardianship...

we chose good friends of ours....she has a 14 yr old son and he's such a good kid and she is unable to have anymore. She watches Alyson every week for me and we like the way they parent and live their lives.

ETA: while we have family here in GA, she has her own 2 already and feel that it'd be too much of a burden on her

Message edited 5/7/2006 12:03:44 PM.