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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Grandparents or Nanny?
I don't feel comfortable putting our baby in daycare until s/he is at least 1 year old. I will have about 4 months off from work and then DH will watch the baby for about 3 months.
We will need someone to care for our baby for about 6 months until we think the child is old enough for daycare and social interaction.
Would you prefer a nanny or your parents?
I'm leaning towards my parents.
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Posted 10/22/08 3:47 PM  |
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kmac
Two under two!
Member since 5/07 3703 total posts
Name:
Kris
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
My mother will be watching the baby when I have to go back to work. I would much prefer her over anyone else!
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| Posted 10/22/08 3:48 PM |
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kerrycec03
Mom of 2 beautiful boys!!
Member since 6/06 13519 total posts
Name:
Kerry
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
If all goes as planned (hopefully) my Mom & sister will rotate watching the baby 2 hours a day (between when DH leaves for work and I come home).
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| Posted 10/22/08 3:50 PM |
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JennZ
MY LIFE!!
Member since 8/05 25463 total posts
Name:
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
If I had to choose, I would pick grandparents. Im not big on nannies (NO offense to anyone who is one or uses them). It is a personal choice DH and I made that family only will watch our child.
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| Posted 10/22/08 3:51 PM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
I say Grandparents, IF they are able and willing to take on that responsibility
I am not comfortable with the idea of inviting a stranger into my home to watch my child - so, no Nanny for us.
The baby will go to daycare either full or part time, depending on Grandma 
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| Posted 10/22/08 3:53 PM |
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mrsgafforio
LIF Adult
Member since 3/07 3929 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
My mom is watching the baby for the first year.
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| Posted 10/22/08 3:59 PM |
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nicknmb
SISTERS!
Member since 1/06 5193 total posts
Name:
MaryBeth
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
my mom and MIL will be watching our baby - we are very lucky to have them available to do that for us.
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| Posted 10/22/08 4:57 PM |
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StressedNoMore
LIF Toddler
Member since 6/05 493 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
This is my personal opinion.. Not to offend anyone... I personally would have neither watch my child... I am and always will be a firm believer in being a SAHM because I feel there is no better person to care for your child except yourself or DH...
I know alot of you are concerned about finance but I am not rich nor am I well off to be a SAHM but we make due with what we have and I would not trade it for the world..
Money means nothing when your child wants there nanny or granny more then their parents...
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| Posted 10/22/08 4:58 PM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
Name:
LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
If you have parents that are willing and capable of doing, then definitely the child's grandparents.
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| Posted 10/22/08 4:59 PM |
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junebride06
love my boys!
Member since 2/08 3181 total posts
Name:
Robin
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
if I were in your shoes I'd choose my parents over a nanny.
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| Posted 10/22/08 5:10 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
Posted by StressedNoMore
Money means nothing when your child wants there nanny or granny more then their parents...
Regardless of whether you meant to offend anyone, this comment really rubbed me the wrong way.
I plan on putting my child in daycare. Could I be a SAHM? Possibly, but for me, I know that I will be happier going back to work. I also want to be able to provide a certain lifestyle for my child, which I feel I cannot do by being a SAHM. IMO, a happy mom = a happy baby. I highly doubt that my child will prefer a daycare teacher over DH or me.
In the end, everyone needs to do what's best for their child. What's right for one may not be right for another. We should all respect people's decisions instead of making comments about them.
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| Posted 10/22/08 5:10 PM |
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StressedNoMore
LIF Toddler
Member since 6/05 493 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
Posted by MrsS2005
Posted by StressedNoMore
Money means nothing when your child wants there nanny or granny more then their parents...
Regardless of whether you meant to offend anyone, this comment really rubbed me the wrong way.
I plan on putting my child in daycare. Could I be a SAHM? Possibly, but for me, I know that I will be happier going back to work. I also want to be able to provide a certain lifestyle for my child, which I feel I cannot do by being a SAHM. IMO, a happy mom = a happy baby. I highly doubt that my child will prefer a daycare teacher over DH or me.
In the end, everyone needs to do what's best for their child. What's right for one may not be right for another. We should all respect people's decisions instead of making comments about them.
Like I said IT'S MY OPINION!!!!Everyone is different... I personally would never let some else raise my children... I feel I am the best person to do so... As you said you want your child to have a certain lifestyle, well thats your opinion, money and meterial things is not the same as the personal attention you can give your child at home.
You have your opinion and I have mine.... Everyone is entitled to have a mind of there own.. Like I stated as well NOT YO OFFEND ANYONE.... if you got offended you must see I have a point...
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| Posted 10/22/08 5:22 PM |
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MrsS2005
Mom of 3
Member since 11/05 13118 total posts
Name:
B
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
Posted by StressedNoMore
Posted by MrsS2005
Posted by StressedNoMore
Money means nothing when your child wants there nanny or granny more then their parents...
Regardless of whether you meant to offend anyone, this comment really rubbed me the wrong way.
I plan on putting my child in daycare. Could I be a SAHM? Possibly, but for me, I know that I will be happier going back to work. I also want to be able to provide a certain lifestyle for my child, which I feel I cannot do by being a SAHM. IMO, a happy mom = a happy baby. I highly doubt that my child will prefer a daycare teacher over DH or me.
In the end, everyone needs to do what's best for their child. What's right for one may not be right for another. We should all respect people's decisions instead of making comments about them.
Like I said IT'S MY OPINION!!!!Everyone is different... I personally would never let some else raise my children... I feel I am the best person to do so... As you said you want your child to have a certain lifestyle, well thats your opinion, money and meterial things is not the same as the personal attention you can give your child at home.
You have your opinion and I have mine.... Everyone is entitled to have a mind of there own.. Like I stated as well NOT YO OFFEND ANYONE.... if you got offended you must see I have a point...
You can call something an opinion all you want, but your comment was completely unnecessary and inappropriate as is your comment about letting someone else raise your children. The OP asked about nanny vs. grandparent and you felt it necessary to comment on being a SAHM and that a child will want his or her nanny or grandparent more than a parent. What was the point of making a comment like that?
The reason I find your comment offensive has nothing to do with whether or not I think you make a valid point. I think it's pretty clear that I don't think what you're saying is valid. Instead of being supportive of another person's choice, which is clearly not right for you, you tried to make her feel guilty with your comments.
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| Posted 10/22/08 5:36 PM |
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lovemy2boys
LIF Adult
Member since 10/07 3915 total posts
Name:
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
Posted by StressedNoMore
This is my personal opinion.. Not to offend anyone... I personally would have neither watch my child... I am and always will be a firm believer in being a SAHM because I feel there is no better person to care for your child except yourself or DH...
I know alot of you are concerned about finance but I am not rich nor am I well off to be a SAHM but we make due with what we have and I would not trade it for the world..
Money means nothing when your child wants there nanny or granny more then their parents...
this comment was very unnecessary and insulting. It has nothing to do with what the OP asked. Being a SAHM was not one of her options.
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| Posted 10/22/08 5:41 PM |
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
if i were lucky enough to have my parents as an option, i would do that in a heartbeat over a nanny. i am a SAHM, but like you would hire a nanny over daycare for the 1st year if i elected to go back to work. my parents live far away, but even if they were closer they wouldn't take on that much responsibility. they would help out a day here and there, but not full time.
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| Posted 10/22/08 6:34 PM |
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Katie111806
Team Pink!
Member since 12/06 5349 total posts
Name:
Katie
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
Posted by StressedNoMore
Posted by MrsS2005
Posted by StressedNoMore
Money means nothing when your child wants there nanny or granny more then their parents...
Regardless of whether you meant to offend anyone, this comment really rubbed me the wrong way.
I plan on putting my child in daycare. Could I be a SAHM? Possibly, but for me, I know that I will be happier going back to work. I also want to be able to provide a certain lifestyle for my child, which I feel I cannot do by being a SAHM. IMO, a happy mom = a happy baby. I highly doubt that my child will prefer a daycare teacher over DH or me.
In the end, everyone needs to do what's best for their child. What's right for one may not be right for another. We should all respect people's decisions instead of making comments about them.
Like I said IT'S MY OPINION!!!!Everyone is different... I personally would never let some else raise my children... I feel I am the best person to do so... As you said you want your child to have a certain lifestyle, well thats your opinion, money and meterial things is not the same as the personal attention you can give your child at home.
You have your opinion and I have mine.... Everyone is entitled to have a mind of there own.. Like I stated as well NOT YO OFFEND ANYONE.... if you got offended you must see I have a point...
Yes, that's your opinion and of course everyone is entitled to one, but the OP wasn't asking if she should be a SAHM - she was asking opinions on whether we thought a nanny or grandparents were a better option. Clearly you think neither of these options is the best answer for your family, in which case you should probably have not responded.
To the OP, I recommend also asking this on the parenting board since more of them have been through it. I would lean towards asking grandparents, but have had stories if being tough to draw the line between parenting/grandparenting so I think it depends on the relationships involved.
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| Posted 10/22/08 6:44 PM |
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nrvbrd
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/05 796 total posts
Name:
Kysha
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
I would also like to lean towards family.
I will say this though, in some situations going with family might not be the ideal choice.
I say this because the parents and the grandparents may often clash when it comes to what each feels is right with regards to the baby and the parents feelings are not respected.
This can become quite stressful so I can see why some people would rather go the nanny route even though they family available.
I say go with the decision that makes you the most comfortable.
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| Posted 10/22/08 7:29 PM |
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Lillykat
going along for the ride...
Member since 5/05 16253 total posts
Name:
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
I would say grandparents if they are healthy enough to do it and you are comfortable with their care. I don't think you can supplement grandparent love with a stranger. You know they are in good care, that they did a good job of raising you so they will most likely have the same values you do or your husband does if it is his parents.
A nanny can give great care don't get me wrong - but if you have a parent you trust and are comfortable with I would prefer that any day over a stranger you might not know much about.
If you have doubts that the parent will follow your wishes are might not be in the best health that might change my opinion.
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| Posted 10/23/08 9:12 AM |
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MarisaK
HELLO Manolo !!
Member since 5/06 14562 total posts
Name:
Marisa
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
Posted by StressedNoMore
Money means nothing when your child wants there nanny or granny more then their parents...
OUCH !!!
My friends and family are a mix of SAHMs and FT Working Moms -
NO ONE's children prefer the nanny or grandma to "MOMMY" -
There is NEVER a question as to who Mommy and Daddy are, how much love is in the family, who the kids look to for support and guidance - Nannies and Grandma's are caregivers, they 'help' you to raise your kids - they absolutely DO NOT take the place of Mom and Dad -
If you honestly beleive that you are living in a bubble. And it's a horrible thing to say -
Besides that fact that she didn't ask about being a SAHM, she asked which was better - A Nanny or Grandparent?
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| Posted 10/23/08 9:29 AM |
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Goldi0218
My miracles!
Member since 12/05 23902 total posts
Name:
Leslie
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
Posted by StressedNoMore
Posted by MrsS2005
Posted by StressedNoMore
Money means nothing when your child wants there nanny or granny more then their parents...
Regardless of whether you meant to offend anyone, this comment really rubbed me the wrong way.
I plan on putting my child in daycare. Could I be a SAHM? Possibly, but for me, I know that I will be happier going back to work. I also want to be able to provide a certain lifestyle for my child, which I feel I cannot do by being a SAHM. IMO, a happy mom = a happy baby. I highly doubt that my child will prefer a daycare teacher over DH or me.
In the end, everyone needs to do what's best for their child. What's right for one may not be right for another. We should all respect people's decisions instead of making comments about them.
Like I said IT'S MY OPINION!!!!Everyone is different... I personally would never let some else raise my children... I feel I am the best person to do so... As you said you want your child to have a certain lifestyle, well thats your opinion, money and meterial things is not the same as the personal attention you can give your child at home.
You have your opinion and I have mine.... Everyone is entitled to have a mind of there own.. Like I stated as well NOT YO OFFEND ANYONE.... if you got offended you must see I have a point...
Yes. You are right - there is nobody better to take care of a child than a parent and sure it was your opinion...
BUT...
your answer was tangential. It did not address the OP's question and you DID rub people the wrong way. Had the OP asked "Should I stay home or have someone in the home such as a nanny or a grandparent?", your response would have been appropriate. What you effectively did was alienate and pass judgment (whether intentionally or not) on the situations of a HUGE percentage of pregnant women and current mothers.
Do you honestly think that the majority of us who have to place our children in the care of others really WANT to whether grandparent or otherwise? I cry every single day of my maternity leave knowing that we are forced to entrust the well-being of our first-born (and so far "only") child to someone else come December. Could we live on one of our salaries? Sure. MAYBE DH's. But we may be eating an awful lot of Spaghettios and our daughter may not go to college.
I remember graduating from college and having someone say that my generation was to be the first that was worse off than that of their parents. They were right. In order for MY kids to go to college, we need to invest NOW. Actually, we started BEFORE our daughter was born. Without a second salary, we would have to bank on scholarships to help. That is not exactly fair to our children.
Please understand that it is not an easy choice for those of us to have to make, but there are legitimate reasons why we choose what we choose and I would venture to say that they are ALL in the best interest of our children.
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| Posted 10/23/08 9:46 AM |
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isabelle2137
LIF Adult
Member since 12/06 1076 total posts
Name:
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
Posted by StressedNoMore
Posted by MrsS2005
Posted by StressedNoMore
Money means nothing when your child wants there nanny or granny more then their parents...
Regardless of whether you meant to offend anyone, this comment really rubbed me the wrong way.
I plan on putting my child in daycare. Could I be a SAHM? Possibly, but for me, I know that I will be happier going back to work. I also want to be able to provide a certain lifestyle for my child, which I feel I cannot do by being a SAHM. IMO, a happy mom = a happy baby. I highly doubt that my child will prefer a daycare teacher over DH or me.
In the end, everyone needs to do what's best for their child. What's right for one may not be right for another. We should all respect people's decisions instead of making comments about them.
Like I said IT'S MY OPINION!!!!Everyone is different... I personally would never let some else raise my children... I feel I am the best person to do so... As you said you want your child to have a certain lifestyle, well thats your opinion, money and meterial things is not the same as the personal attention you can give your child at home.
You have your opinion and I have mine.... Everyone is entitled to have a mind of there own.. Like I stated as well NOT YO OFFEND ANYONE.... if you got offended you must see I have a point...
I am a firm believer in not getting flamed for stating your own opinion - even if you didn't answer the original question.
However, your second post is out of line.
"I personally would never let some else raise my children"
To imply that a child in daycare isn't being raised by his/her parents is rude and a bit narrow minded. That's just my opinion.
When your children reach school age and are gone for hours and hours, do you consider the teacher "raising" your child?
I don't. Perhaps we differ on the definition of "raising".
To each their own, but a bit of sensitivity wouldn't hurt.
Message edited 10/23/2008 9:58:52 AM.
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| Posted 10/23/08 9:58 AM |
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Lucky
Growing up fast!
Member since 4/07 12683 total posts
Name:
Dawn
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
My parents win hands down. They are great grandparents & I know they would do an incredible job with DD.
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| Posted 10/23/08 10:10 AM |
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Bridex100
Two Under Two Mommy
Member since 3/08 10420 total posts
Name:
Momx100
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
I wasn't trying to cause any drama!
My mom stayed with me when I was younger. I guess it was good for my development somewhat because she started me on piano as soon as i could sit up and taught me to read by age 3. However, I often felt suffocated by my mother AND I was a very shy child. I'm not saying that it was because I was so sheltered by my mom but I know I used to be by her side all the time until I was maybe like 10 yrs old. Decades later my mom's world still revolves around me. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful because I love my mom but I do wish she had more of a life of her own.
Everyone comes from different backgrounds so everyone will have a different perspective of what they want for their children. I know that I want to send my child to a good daycare after s/he is old enough so s/he can play with others and then send her to a good nursery school. I just didn't feel comfortable sending an infant to daycare. That is just me though.
DH feels differently though. He thinks nothing is better than a baby being with his/her mother in early development. DH was sent to boarding school at a young age.
Message edited 10/23/2008 10:20:17 AM.
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| Posted 10/23/08 10:11 AM |
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annie
This is how I play basketball!
Member since 6/05 1980 total posts
Name:
Stephanie
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
totally depends on the situation & relationship. Some grandparents might be the wrong choice for a primary caretaker for an infant. In my case, I'd choose my mom over a nanny because she'd be really great. But there's nothing wrong with a loving & competent nanny whom you trust. good luck!
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| Posted 10/23/08 6:02 PM |
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hmm8191
My loves
Member since 3/06 2908 total posts
Name:
Heather
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Re: Grandparents or Nanny?
My parents and DH's Mom will be splitting childcare responsibilities. We are SO LUCKY!!!
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| Posted 10/23/08 6:13 PM |
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