graduates from the IF board

i have a question, i don't know if you will all think i am crazy...

do any of you resent the women for whom it was so "easy" to get pregnant?

i ask b/c i have a friend who tried for 2 years before getting pregnant with her daughter through IUI... and i got pregnant the third month trying. she never said anything to me, but i actually didn't know she had any problems trying until she told me when i was 3 months pregnant.



i also know that she would like more kids, but she lives in a small apartment in her parents house, and she would need to do IUI again... it's a lot for her to deal with. meanwhile, i want to have kids close together and we will (most liekly) have the space to do that.

sorry this is so long... i guess i just wanted opinions. i care about her a lot, i would never want to say (or do) the wrong thing!

Re: graduates from the IF board

I would never feel like that. EVERY baby is a blessing and actually each baby that was added I felt, helped me to have what I didn't yet. My best friend's twins filled a big void for me for a long time. It's not the same as having your own but you do get to experience a lot. My neice also did that for me although I didn't get to see her that much. Now that I moved South hopefully I will see her more.

However, from reading others posts and talking to others I do think some have this feeling. Everyone handles things differently. I guess I am an optimist. I never had an issue with baby showers or babies in general because I always felt like one way or another it WOULD happen for me.

If you are concerned I would just say something like, I know this has been hard and I'm here if you want to talk.

Re: graduates from the IF board

Nope. Never. I just couldn't. It would have been counterproductive to my psyche and my treatment. Like Melijane says, every child is a blessing and made it easier for me never to give up. I realize that my issues were not as severe as many others' were, but my methods of conception were far from natural. We accepted it and knew it would happen in time. Thats how we got through it. And yes, EVERYONE was having babies around us.

Message edited 6/3/2008 10:08:55 PM.

Re: graduates from the IF board

I'm going to be completely and totally honest here, since that's probably the type of response you're looking for...

Now that I'm pregnant--no, I don't resent those who got pregnant so easily. But when I was in the throws of it, and the timing wasn't right, or the bloodwork wasn't right, or the thyroid level wasn't perfect--I absolutely DID have days where I resented other women who seemingly just think about getting pregnant, and it happens for them.

I know that I'm EXTREMELY blessed, because someone like me could not have had children even 30 years ago. I also know that I'm very lucky in that I didn't have to go through nearly as many treatments as many other strong ladies I know.

But there were some times when it got bad. One day we were in Panera, and there was a woman there with a newborn on line in front of us. I had to literally run out to the car and have myself a good cry--because I thought it would never happen for me. There are good days and bad days for sure.

My feeling is--when pregnancy is difficult, and involves needles, sonograms, injections, and much more than a "roll in the hay" with the man you love--it's VERY easy to feel resentful of those that don't have to go through the whole mess.

Re: graduates from the IF board

Re: graduates from the IF board

thanks ladies... i really really appreciate all of your input. and beth, you're right, i was looking for total honesty here.

i think i might mention something to her. she is an amazing woman, and i know she is super exicted for her LO to have a playmate, but i agree with melissa - i just want to let her know that it's ok to talk to me or vent or whatever.

thanks again i am SOOOO glad you are all here!!

Re: graduates from the IF board

Message edited 11/22/2010 11:49:19 AM.

Re: graduates from the IF board

Message edited 11/22/2010 11:48:13 AM.