girls without moms.....shower Q

i dont have a mom in my life, and lately i have been thinking about the baby shower and its been getting me sad (i know the hormones arent helping either).

Is anyone else in the same situation? My MIL is out of state (and doesn't know much about showers, shes an immigrant). On my side, the only relatives are out of state as well.

I cant throw my own shower obviously, or could we afford it! and my father threw me a bridal shower by himself and I'd hate to ask him to do that again. Just wondering if anyone was in the same boat. Do you just not have one?

I feel bad even asking about this and feel like a bit of a brat so i apologize. but I just always figured I would have one and now that the time is here im realizing i might not and its getting me sad.

TIA

Re: girls without moms.....shower Q

I have a mother but she isn't capable of throwing me a shower. And there isn't anyone on my side of the family that is.

My SIL's are actually throwing me a shower. It came as a BIG surprise to me and I was soo touched.

Is there anyone on DH's side that could possibly throw it??

Any close friends??

Re: girls without moms.....shower Q

aww that was so nice of your SIL's!!! what a good surprise!

my SIL lives in FL so shes out...I have great girlfriends, but i just dont know if theyd plan something. its hard because you can't ask for something, ya know?

Maybe I'll hint around for DH to talk to my friends.

thanks for your response, its a hard awkward situation!

Re: girls without moms.....shower Q

My mom was against me having a shower, but my SIL and two friends asked if they could throw one for me. We did it at my home and even though my mom b!tched about it at first, she came and even had fun.

We definitely didn't go crazy as far as cost goes. My friends were generous who brought the food and made the diaper cake and diaper wreath, but hosting it at our home made it so much more personal and fun!

Can I ask you a question about what you think I should do for this situation?

I have a friend who is due in June who doesn't have parents who are alive and I really want to throw her a shower but I don't know her that well (her DH and my DH used to work together) and I don't think she has a lot of friends around here (her only family is a sister in CA). I've asked her about it a few times, but she always brushes it off, but I really want to have some sort of celebration for her! So I'm asking you... should I push her a little more to get me a list of people and a day she'd like to do it, and just get my sh!t together and organize a small shower for her? Or should I leave her alone since every time I mention it she says "oh, most people will just give money as gifts" and just laughs and brushes me off? Does she really not want a shower? Or is she just being nice and doesn't want me to have to go to all the trouble of throwing her one? (She's originally from China so I don't know if that's part of why this is a little foreign for her.)

Not to hijack your thread or anything, but I just thought maybe you could give me some advice on this!

I hope you find a way to have a shower you'll enjoy. Honestly, I think if you don't mind doing it at home, you and your DH could organize a sort of shower-type party that won't cost you too much. Maybe make it a pot luck/shower to alleviate costs?

Re: girls without moms.....shower Q

thanks for your input!

I'm happy to hear that your mom came around and enjoyed in that moment with you! See, maybe im reading too much into it and people will come around and plan something like your friends and SIL did.
im an organizer so I am so used to taking charge but maybe I should relax....

how nice of you to want to do something for your friend, even though you aren't super close. Based on what you said I would think she is being nice and doesn't want to impose on you. Especially since you said she laughs or brushes it off when you talk about it, thats something I would do if I felt bad for people going out of their way for me.
So maybe if you have another friend who knows her or can get a few people together and do something small that would be really nice. I think she'd really appreciate it. Just definitely check if theres a cultural thing, like if its bad luck or something, but then I say do it. I love doing things like that for people, especially when you know their situation.

Let me know how it goes and thanks for your advice! maybe planning something at home with friends might be a good idea for me too!

Re: girls without moms.....shower Q

why doesn't your DH throw one for you?

Re: girls without moms.....shower Q

my DH is throwing one for me.
Could you have it at your house or in the park maybe?
You could just do a dessert shower and have coffee and cakes and things.
Or you could just do salads and a wrap platter, to keep costs down.

Re: girls without moms.....shower Q

what about your friends?? maybe they will do something for you?

Re: girls without moms.....shower Q

I do have a mom but she lives out of state. MIL isn't throwing me one, understandable. I have no friends here so... no shower for me. I just try not the think about it... which is really hard sometimes. Just have to worry about buying all of the bigger stuff ourselves. I knew this would happen but being so close to the due date it;s becoming more of reality!! Hang in there...

Re: girls without moms.....shower Q

When my mom was alive we threw our own coed shower but put her and MILs name on invites. Now it's 4-5 yrs later and ppl keep asking me if I want a shower and I say no. But if it were my first I'd want one just to celebrate. I still miss my mom (she passed nov 2009), so I think a shower would actually hurt me a little right now.

Hopefully your DH will recruit your Friends and throw you one!