FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

How do you swing taking off work to attend all these events?? Do you pick & choose?

As it is, I have to attend a pre-k seminar today at 2, then next tuesday @ 3 I have to go to meet-the-teacher event.......and school hasn't even begun!

Then I know all the activities start. Halloween events, etc...........I can't send DH, as he will be going away next year for 7 months.

I missed mother's day tea in preschool and felt awful, but I simply could not take off work due to staffing.

I always wonder how people manage to do this while working full-time. I always get annoyed at how there is an expectation to attend events, but they are always right smack in the middle of the day.

So, what do you guys do?

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

Do you have family close by that your child is close to?

If DH and/or I can't take off, my Mom or Dad (or both) or attend in our place so our kids always have SOMEONE there

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

DD is not in school yet, but I do have a very flexible work schedule. I work from home 1 day a week and can move that day around/make up hours in the evening. I can also work from home on other days if I need to.

My mom missed a TON of things when I was young..I was sad the day of, but got over it pretty quickly!

Sending a grandparent/aunt/uncle is a good idea too. My mom did that a lot.

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

My husband and I coordinate activities. And if neither of us can do it, then we'll call my SIL or MIL. There's always someone willing and available for us.

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

DD is still in daycare and luckily they plan events like this later in the day, so I usually can make it after work or just leave a few min early.

Once she starts school, I could probably work 1/2 in the morning or afternoon depending on what time it is.

My manager is very flexible with me, he never minds when I have to leave for DD.

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

As a teacher I just wanted to respond because I often feel bad that parents do take off work for some of these events, such as the Halloween "parade" my school does. They are usually very crowded and very rushed. The children have to stay as a class and parents don't always get a good view of them. My school is very big... 8 classes+ per grade so this is my experience. For the little ones, for some its too busy and chaotic for them to notice and for others it can be sad if they see a crowd of parents but not their own. For those kids I usually make a point of telling them something to the effect of Mrs. Art/Music/Science teacher was watching them to make them feel noticed. Anyway after all this I would say definately choose wisely... Something in your child's classroom will be more personal and I think you'd both find that more special than some of the big school/grade wide events.

Maybe talk to the teacher about it. I've told parents in your situation to try to attend the parent book reading day or author's celebration (in my classroom) rather than the Halloween parade or Valentine's Day celebration (which you probably do something special at home for anyway)

Lastly, don't ever let a teacher or administrator make you feel badly for not being able to attend daytime functions. As a teacher I cannot take off time to attend these events/workshops/meetings at my children's school either!

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

I work PT but I was recently talking to a FTWM and she mentioned how hard it is for her to attend school functions but I reminded her that SAHMs also have trouble making all the functions without support from a sitter/helper/grandparent. I have three DCs and for me to go to the baby class with the little one, I'd have to bring my older children with me so I always feel like a bad parent for "crashing" the class with an older child or for subjecting the older child to a boring baby class. Then for the volunteering, I can never help out with the activities/classes as much as I would like because I have other DCs to take care of. Unless you have extra support, it's hard whether you're home or working. JMO.

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

I also have a very flexible work environment, so I am able to attend most events and make up the hours. DH attends less. In the case that neither of us go, I see if my parents or siblings can go since all live or work nearby.

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

I can make my own schedule to a degree - there are times when I have a meeting I can't change, etc. but most of the time I should be able to leave work to participate and then go right back (which is why I keep working FT, I have flexibility)

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

I'm a FTWM.

I won't be going to my kid's school Halloween parade. I will not go to a play. I won't take him to school... And won't pick him up.

Comes with the territory.

My parents both worked full time. I never felt like they weren't there. I knew they were doing something important. I will teach my kids the same.

I'll take a vacation day the first day of school... And I value every second we have together.

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

I def don't make every event at school/daycare. I save my time throughout the year in anticipation of events that take place during work hours. I attend some but miss a lot too. Last year I used time and left work a couple of hours early to read to DS's class. I did it when it fit my schedule and that way I was still there even if it wasn't for actual events. It's def hard

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

When I was working ft lot of moms did have to miss some events. Sometimes they were able to come in late , or leave early.

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

DS is just starting nursery school this yr but i plan on attending every event he has. I have a pretty laid back office environment and my boss knows my kids come first. Not to mention DS school is only 10 mins from my office so i can always just take a little longer lunch break to attend any functions. Growing up my parents missed alot cause they both worked FT. I hated that they missed so much and i never want my kids to feel that way.

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

My kids aren't in regular school yet, but when I grew up, my mom was a FTWM. My grandma came to square dances (do they still do those?) and field day.

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

I am a teacher and I miss very few events. If I don't have something very important going on at my own school, I take a half day off to be there for my kids. They will only be little for a short time and I don't want to miss an opportunity to be there to cheer them on. Soon they won't be as happy to see me. The teen years come quickly!

Message edited 8/31/2012 7:41:24 PM.

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

I have a flex schedule so I attend every event. We live about half a mile from the school and I work about 10 minutes away so I zip in and out and go back to work. I just block it out on my work calendar as if I have a meeting planned. School events usually only last 1-2 hours.

DH also works about 10 minutes from the preschool and tries to come to events. At DS's preschool, I'd say about half the kids have one parent attend the events. 1/4 has another family member (grandparent, aunt, uncle) and then 1/4 doesn't have a parent attend.

Now that we will be having 2 kids in preschool, I told DH waaaay in advance to clear his clinic for halloween. One parent will be in each class.

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

I'm fortunate to have my parents. For example, they are takingmher to meet her K teacher on Tues. I want to see her off on Wed. So I'll be going in late. Honestly I plan on going to everything she has, especially in K. I just can't actually get sick this year!

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

Even as a SAHM/PTWM I couldn't attend everything because I have another little one at home. DH would take off, or take a long lunch... One of us would go, one would stay with the baby. My BFF went on a few field trips with him, and she was a "helper" on doctor day. We all went in and read to the class. Most of the time someone was there. I think there was 1 or 2 "helper" events that we couldn't make.

Re: FTWMs and school activities (halloween parades, etc)

i take off and go to everything I possibly can, but I work close and my job is pretty flexible. If there is something i can't do i ask a family member, like one of the grandparent's to attend.