FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

I have been a FTWM since my older DD was born. Now I have 2 DDs, the younger will be 1 next month.

DH got a very good promotion and salary increase at work which made our hopes and dreams of me working PT much more of a reality. While I don't bring home the big bucks, I do make a more than decent salary which will be hard to give up. I also work for one of the largest companies in the world, so my benefits are also great. Today i come in to find out that I am getting a 6% raise! Now most people would be thrilled - not me, I am totally depressed! I feel like it will be even harder to give up my salary now!

So if you have similar experience, just wondering how you did it. We have actively been trying to lower our monthly expenses and debt so that this dream can become reality. But we of course have expenses that can't be helped. Our older DD will be going to Pre-K in the fall so her school tuition will only be increasing.

Thanks for listening I am so thankful that I can provide for my family, yet all I really want is to be present for my girls during the day.

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

I am not in your situation yet....but my goal is to work part time when DS is in nursery school in 2 years.


I completely know how you feel. COMPLETELY! DS just turned one and I switched jobs within my firm a few weeks ago for better hours and more pay...no brainer. I guess what helps me is that the increase in salary will only help me with going part time because the % of a higher salary will result in a higher part time salary- does that make sense?

What if you go four days a week, will you still maintain your benefits and a comfy pay? This may be a good compromise. Congrats to you for doing so well in your career and for wanting to be with your girls! You're doing the right thing and everything will work out.

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

I used to work FT when DH was a resident and fellow. Now he makes significantly more than I do and I work PT.

I basically work almost FT. I used to work 20 hours a week. Then it became 25-30. now I work more like 30-35 hours. I can easily make double what I earn now if I got a real full time job. My base salary is about 20% less than what I used to earn but my bonus is a fraction of what I used to earn in banking in Manhattan. I have a high title but my compensation does not necessarily match it. My resume has no gap and that is what is important to me.

I am happy with the trade off. I come in a later and leave earlier than everyone else with no questions asked. I can attend all my boys' events at school. It is a fair compromise.

eta: DH always reminds me that we moved out of Manhattan and people in finance don't earn the same elsewhere.

Message edited 1/18/2013 10:59:25 AM.

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

I work FT. When and if we have another DC I will seek PT work. I make significantly more than DH and I carry our health insurance. So it will be difficult to do but the cost of day care will kind of not make it worth it to continue FT. I'd be able to be with my children more and still provide financially.

FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

Do you really want to go PT? It doesn't sound like that at all.

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

can you work out a deal with your current employer that is FT so you can keep the pay and benefits but has flexibility - like working from home a couple of days a week or changing hours?

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

I am still a FTWM. I think a lot about going part time but it is very difficult in my field because a lot of time you get the pay cut but you still end up working full time. I completely understand the raise making it harder, when it seems like it should make it easier. It makes the pay cut that much more dramatic.

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

I tried going part time and found out that because I am very organized and need to get everything done that either I did the same amount of work in my part time hours or I was staying late or taking work home to finish. So my compromise was to be able to work full time but to be able to work from home also so i could try to do both.
Right now i'm on maternity leave and not looking foward to going back to work in a week.

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

Will your current job allow you to have a more flexible schedule like trim your currently salary and prorate it to the # of hours you work? Thats what I did. I was in your same situation...love my job, great people, great benefits, pretty easy work lol...but when I had my son he became my #1 priority. I couldnt just quit we do honestly need the money but I talked to my boss and she agreed to allowing me to cut my hours back so that I can spend more time with my kids. So now I work 9-3 everyday.

Is that something your company would allow?

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

I agree with everyone else- see if you can arrange for a more flexible schedule with your current employer.

If that is not possible and you would have to leave your current employer (so take a pay cut & pay more for benefits through your husband's employer) then I would try to live on his income alone to see if it really is feasible for you to go PT.

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

Do you love your job or is it just the money that's making this harder? IF you love it, I say stay! At least for another year or two so you can save up money so that maybe when you are able to switch to pt, you could take some time off in between before starting a new job. Maybe for next summer or something!

FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

If you like your job and then money, then why give it up? I am a FTWM and wouldn't have it any other way! It is ok to want to work (and it is ok to want to stay home), so you need to decide what will make you happy and do it.

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

I wanted to go PT, but it isn't so easy. My company was FT or nothing. T he pay per hour is not that good for PT jobs I looked at. Basically I would work during my limited free time, have zero flexibility, plus my kids are always sick or have days off. I would still have to do all my cleaning, errands and running around with kids in tow. Dh and I decided to cut back a bit and I stayed home.

Message edited 1/18/2013 3:37:30 PM.

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

I went from FTWM to SAHM for 3 months before an awesome PT opportunity came my way. I manage my own department and work when I want. I go in 2 long days and do emails and conf calls from home on my off days. I absolutely love it and its the best of both worlds. Money was not a factor for me in this decision bc we had a lot saved before. It sounds like you arent totally ready to make the switch though - sounds like you love your job and salary. I would wait 6 months-1 yr and then think about it again. You can resign at any time, no need to rush it. If you are unhappy it can be hard nowadays to find a great paying job that you love.

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

Thank you all so much for your responses!!! I know I have a lot to think about, and some of you brought up points I had never thought of!!!

Re: FTWM that went to PTWM - how did you do it??

I did exactly what you are saying.

After DS was born I had minimal issue going back to work. I enjoyed my job, liked my coworkers, had a good salary and great benefits! I was content. DS was supposed to go pt to daycare and pt with my ils. My ils insisted on watching him full time instead. After a month dh and i started to feel bad BC they were giving up their retirement to watch DS, even though they never complained. After 2 months of crying over it, I found another job working 3 days and having some flexibility to wah if needed. It was hard and I still have days 4years later where I miss my old life) but it was a great decision. I won't lie, I didn't enjoy the work I was doing at my pt job, it was just okay to me, but it fit our life and i loved having time with DS. I loved feeling more free to do mommy and me, or take him to the park, etc. And I loved that 3 days a week I was able to be an important art of an adult world. It was a great balance.

Ten months later my whole team was outsourced to i dia and now I have been a say mom for 3 years, and honestly I still feel like the best situation was working pt!

Gl with your decision.