For those who choose the "no kids" life...have you

ever thought of adopting or fostering a child (not a baby)? DH & i do not want kids...but i saw a story about a camp run for foster kids by a former "lifer" foster child & it got me thinking how great it would be to be able to change a child's life with a permanent home and family...Dh feels the same way...

It's funny because i don't want my own kids because of the work & sacrifice involved but for some reason the thought of doing it for a child who's had a crappy life doesn't make it seem so bad...what are your thoughts?

Re: For those who choose the "no kids" life...have you

We've thought about fostering dogs, does that count? Just kidding.

No, we never have. We already give our money to many charities but in addition, we want to give our time also. I feel like we are in a greater position to give back than others and want to do that. I just don't think we would ever go as far as fostering a child.

My friend fostered a boy for a time, would you like me to ask him about his experience? He lives in NYC though.

Re: For those who choose the "no kids" life...have you

my grandmother was a foster mother to dozens of children over the years. It is often a much bigger sacrifice than having your own since many come with severe emotional issues. She was constantly shuttling them to appointments, going to therapy with them, dealing with their stalker-ish family members, and helping them mentally adjust to yet a new setting. She did fall in love with many of them and it found it difficult to give them up. My grandparents even lobbied for Roxanne's law (in the late 60s) when one of their foster children was killed by a family member on her return visit to her real family. She did "keep" one child - my uncle - after he stayed with their family from birth and never left. He was never formally adopted since he received a lot of financial aide until he was 18 from the gov't.

**After writing this, I searched my grandmother's name and this article came up.

http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/news/2001/06/05/2001-06-05_things_that_go_bump_in_the_n.html

Message edited 8/31/2009 7:49:35 AM.

Re: For those who choose the "no kids" life...have you

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Message edited 8/8/2011 4:19:45 PM.

Re: For those who choose the "no kids" life...have you

DH used to be a social worker at a local children's psych ward before he went NYPD. There is no way he would foster after that job. I wish he would, I would do it.

I know someone who does a summer program where you have a child for a week and they "vacation" with you. I don't know the program it is through, but she's been doing it for years and finds it very fulfiling. She doesn't have kids, is not married and is in her 40's.

P.S. I couldn't foster the dogs either!! LMAO. I would never be able to give them back!

Message edited 8/31/2009 9:31:02 AM.

Re: For those who choose the "no kids" life...have you

Thanks for all the responses...we were just talking about the idea of it after i saw the story about the camp...financially and house size wise there is no way in hell we could do it now or anytime in the near future...

I also like the idea of volunteering as GreenFreak said...maybe volunteering at a camp for foster kids or something...it was more of a "what if" kind of question to throw out there. Thanks!!!

Re: For those who choose the "no kids" life...have you

Posted by KittyKatCopper

Thanks for all the responses...we were just talking about the idea of it after i saw the story about the camp...financially and house size wise there is no way in hell we could do it now or anytime in the near future...

I also like the idea of volunteering as GreenFreak said...maybe volunteering at a camp for foster kids or something...it was more of a "what if" kind of question to throw out there. Thanks!!!

Re: For those who choose the "no kids" life...have you

I've thought about this and have even discussed it with DH. I do not want children of my own but would definitely consider being foster parent/adoption of an older child. DH on the other hand would rather have his own child.

Re: For those who choose the "no kids" life...have you

I am a guidance counselor and have worked with foster children over the years.

I have seen how grateful the children are and what a wonderful experience it often is for everyone involved.

Many people are quick to point out the "horror" stories, but I have seen MANY success stories as well .

Good luck to you in any future foster parenting

Re: For those who choose the "no kids" life...have you

have you considered a Big Brothers/Big Sisters organization where you serve as a mentor? Less commitment but you still get the rewarding feeling of making a difference in a child's life.