Finding out the sex?

I'm so up in the air about it. We found out with our other children and when I found out I was pregnant I really wanted to be surprised. But since I've been having a horrible pregnancy I kind of want to find out so I can get through easier.

What did you do and what were your reasons?

Re: Finding out the sex?

We decided not to find out because we want it to be a surprise. The day we went for the 20 week ultrasound I started getting doubts and thinking maybe I would like to know, so I had the ultrasound technician write it down on a piece of paper and put it in an envelope. I figured in case I change my mind I could look at it. I now have it taped in the baby book I have been keeping. We have not looked at it.
I know it is a difficult decision.

Re: Finding out the sex?

I've heard a lot about people who opt not to find out for their second or third children, even if they found out for their first. I think I would always find out but I am not sure. Finding out definitely has helped me though a rough pregnancy.

Re: Finding out the sex?

This is my one and only PG and we are not finding out (although the answer is sitting at the MDs office w/ my amnio results).

Lots of things went into this decision. First and foremost I absolutely positively LOVE surprises. IMO this is the best surprise life has to offer, so why spoil it? Yes, I've heard about being surprised at 20 weeks vs 40 weeks is still a surprise it just happens earlier, but to me all the excitement is gone by the time the baby arrives unless you keep it to yourself, and my DH cannot keep a secret.

Second, we do know that this is the only child, no finding out now and being surprised for the next one.

Third, throughout pregnancy the man takes a back seat. Like a wedding it is all about the woman (and in this case the unborn child). However, dad's big moment to shine comes when he leaves the delivery room and announces to everyone what the gender is. It is his moment in the spotlight, his moment to shine. How on earth could I deprive the man I love beyond measure of that?????????

Finally, this is the way it was when I was born. You had no opportunity to discover the gender before birth. Yes, I'm a proponent of the technology that allows parents to find out if there are birth defects etc, but to me just b/c it can also be used to figure out gender, doesn't mean I have to take advantage of it.

Message edited 7/28/2007 1:33:00 PM.

Re: Finding out the sex?

This was a tough one for us. I really wanted it to be a surprise and Dh really wanted to know. We even argued about it right up until my level 2 sonogram. I found that people were very opinionated on the topic, and many people felt I was crazy for not finding out. I am truly looking forward to the surprise! Sure I don't have pink or blue things, but I have no problem getting the baby gender specific stuff after it is born. I still feel connected with my baby, and I am happy we didn't find out.

Re: Finding out the sex?

I have always said that I didn't want to know. Of course DH wanted to know. To me this is life's greatest surprise especially because this is the first for us. I convinced DH to wait. Everyone is pretty surprised because I am such a planner but I really just want this to be a surprise.

Re: Finding out the sex?