Feeling down & guilty

Many if you know my story but if not it's a long one and basically our chances of having another child are getting slimmer and slimmer as they start to uncover more and more problems!
I feel down for obvious reasons

I feel guilty bc I have one ds, I love him more than anything but I don't think I'll ever feel complete w/o another dc for us and a sibling for him

I feel down & guilty bc a few months ago my 20yr old nephew asked me to adopt his newborn baby girl, we couldn't for many reasons but the main being I wanted more of my own and didn't want to sacrifice more of my own, also I was afraid of there being issues later on in life since my nephew and I are close and he isn't want to give her up he had to....so sad bc I had the opportunity and didn't take it, guilty bc if we never have another bio child I feel guilty adopting someone else when I could have adopted family

I feel down bc how can I have one dc and not be able to have another??!!

I feel down bc I'm no longer me and haven't been for a long time, my dh, my ds and my weight suffer bc of it. Dh and ds not in a bad way but like I'm so blah, don't want to go out much, have to drag myself to do things etc but in a way if it weren't for my ds I would be way worse bc he keeps me busy.

I don't really know what this post is for but I just need to vent

Re: Feeling down & guilty

don't give up!!

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wow. i can def. imagine all of that being overwhelming to deal with. I especially find it difficult to try to piece together the purpose of why things happen the way they do. im praying you can find peace in this difficult time.

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i wish i had some advice to give you...

Re: Feeling down & guilty

I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this.

I hope this doesn't sound totally ignorant, but do your chances really get slimmer as more issues are uncovered? Is it possible that as more issues get uncovered you are able to narrow down what needs to be fixed? I hope I'm making sense


I would definitely go in this week and speak to Dr.B!

Re: Feeling down & guilty

Posted by PennyCat

I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this.

I hope this doesn't sound totally ignorant, but do your chances really get slimmer as more issues are uncovered? Is it possible that as more issues get uncovered you are able to narrow down what needs to be fixed? I hope I'm making sense


I would definitely go in this week and speak to Dr.B!

Re: Feeling down & guilty

Lois,

I'm so sorry. I don't really have any words of advice. I think you know what you have to/want to do. I think you kind of just have to take it one day at a time.



ETA: In terms of the adoption, I think you made the best decision for your family at that time. I don't think you should look back at that and have regrets.

Message edited 1/23/2011 9:16:27 PM.

Re: Feeling down & guilty

I'm so sorry for all this but I just want to say that life is very strange and it's always testing us in one way or the other. Don't feel guilty about the adoption issue, you shouldn't look back. You did what you thought was best at the time, so don't second guess yourself.

Re: Feeling down & guilty

I'm so sorry, but please don't give up hope.

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Posted by JavaJunkie

Posted by PennyCat

I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this.

I hope this doesn't sound totally ignorant, but do your chances really get slimmer as more issues are uncovered? Is it possible that as more issues get uncovered you are able to narrow down what needs to be fixed? I hope I'm making sense


I would definitely go in this week and speak to Dr.B!

You don't sound ignorant
Normally you would think the more then know, the more they can treat....but if it does turn out to be the translocation problem, there is no treatment, dr b said I can keep trying ivf and we just have to wait to get the "good embryo". if it turns out its not the translocation problem then Dr B has ALOT of figuring out to do bc he is even getting stumped

Re: Feeling down & guilty

Posted by PennyCat

Posted by JavaJunkie

Posted by PennyCat

I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this.

I hope this doesn't sound totally ignorant, but do your chances really get slimmer as more issues are uncovered? Is it possible that as more issues get uncovered you are able to narrow down what needs to be fixed? I hope I'm making sense


I would definitely go in this week and speak to Dr.B!

You don't sound ignorant
Normally you would think the more then know, the more they can treat....but if it does turn out to be the translocation problem, there is no treatment, dr b said I can keep trying ivf and we just have to wait to get the "good embryo". if it turns out its not the translocation problem then Dr B has ALOT of figuring out to do bc he is even getting stumped

You're just so determined, I don't see this road ending for you without a bfp at the end. I know it sounds cliche but I just have a feeling that this story has a happy ending!!

Like others have said, I wouldn't beat yourself up for the decision you made about the family adoption at the time. You made the best decision you could at that time.

Re: Feeling down & guilty

wow...that is a LOT to deal with... I can't even begin to understand that mix of emotions. All I can say is good luck and you are an amazingly strong person who has been through so much. I think you don't give yourself enough credit for the decisions you have made and the things you have endured... Dont give up hope!!!!

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I understand how you feel. Back in June we started TTC#2 and still no BFP. We have about two more chances until we max out our insurance. Many people make the comment "Be happy you have ONE" and "There's nothing wrong with having one..." My response is I AM thankful and extremely blessed that I have my DS but we want another and NO...there is nothing wrong with having one...unless you WANT two"

You are entitled to feel the way you do. This IF road sux. I'm sorry you, me and all of us have to be on this journey.

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I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. This process brings up so many emotions that sometimes it does help to just vent and let it out. We are here for you.

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sometimes the second guessing is the worst thing we can do to ourselves. From what you said, i think you realize that adopting your nephews baby wasn't the right choice for your family at the time - so please don't think it somehow ruins your chances to adopt later on if you decide to go that route.

Put your faith in the dr, and know that we're all here for you to vent and offer support