Emotionally freaked out

OK, so I'm only 6w4d and immediately family knows I'm pg.

We are planning on telling extended family Christmas Eve when I will be out of the first trimester.

But today we were at a Christening and one of DH's aunts went up to my MIL and asked if I was pg. My MIL didn't want to spilll the beans against our wishes and lied and said there is no way I am pregnant. This same aunt then proceeded to ask my SIL and BIL separately the same question. She claimed to them that she could tell I was pg and wanted confirmation. Well SIL and BIL (Dh's brother and sister) also lied and said no.

Now I'm so upset because I didn't want anyone to lie about this. I feel like we are denying this little miracle we've tried so hard to create. And I also feel like we are jinxing ourselves now. I said to DH I think you should go up to said aunt and tell her I am pg but we weren't planning on telling anyone until Christmas. He said no because she never asked him directly. And had she asked him he would have told her the truth.

So, I'm just a little sad.

Re: Emotionally freaked out

I'm sorry that this has upset you! I agree with your DH though, don't tell her. It was very rude of her to ask your SIL and BIL after your MIL told her no. At that point, even if you are pregnant, you and DH obviously didn't want her to know. I would stick to your original plan, don't let relatives, friends, and family pressure you to do what you weren't comfortable with.

Re: Emotionally freaked out

Don't be sad. I understand how you feel! But you aren't denying your child! Your aunt should have let it go-but don't worry about it, when you finally do tell the extended family you can explain to her why you wanted to wait. Plus, I'm sure you'd like to give her the wonderful news, rather than having someone in your family tell her!

Re: Emotionally freaked out

sorry you are feeling bad, but you aren't jinxing yourself-----you will tell everyone when you are ready!!!

Re: Emotionally freaked out

Sorry your upset, you shouldn't be at such a wonderful time. I agree with everyone, she was wrong to have taken it further after your MIl said no. Tell everyone when you & DH are ready and you are NOT jinxing yourself

Re: Emotionally freaked out

Listen, it's so overwhelming and emotionally draining to be pregnant, especially in the beginning. Don't make yourself feel bad over this. I felt the same way as you, and wouldn't lie to people, but would say something like, "Why would you ask that?" I would never say no, I felt like it was bad luck. But be logical, not emotional. While it wasn't what you wanted them to say, at least they kept your best interest at heart, right? Don't worry!

Re: Emotionally freaked out

Try not to be upset over it. When you are ready you can tell everyone and have a good laugh about it.

Re: Emotionally freaked out

I felt the same way as you and I got mad at DH for outright denying my pregnancy to one rude, nosy person. But you know what? His denying it at the time had no effect on my pregnancy whatsoever! You will be fine!!

She was really out of line to be so insistent like that. People are so caught up in being the first to know or figure out what's going on in other people's lives, they never stop to think that maybe you're a little anxious about this pregnancy especially so early on and they should just respect your privacy.

If this woman says anything to you after you reveal at Christmas you should say something about how nice it is that your ILs respecting your privacy and too bad not everyone is that way.

Re: Emotionally freaked out

Aw, I understand why you would feel sad, but you don't need to feel like denying your wonderful news because you are still excited about it and just didn't want to share yet, with good reason. It is a personal choice, and DH's aunt sounds like she is a little much being so forward as to ask without being told and then rudely asking 2 others after she already received MIL's answer.

Re: Emotionally freaked out

Thanks ladies, I really appreciate the kind words and support!

It's amazing at the etiquette you learn from personal experience. I have certainly learned to never inquire about a major event in someone's life. If the person wants you to know they will tell you, period point blank.