Emotionally Attached?

I have a weird question...
Does anyone feel like they don't want to get emotionally attached until later in your pregnancy?

I only ask because I feel I can be "out of the worry zone" after 13 weeks. I also am recommended to do a CVS shot as well (we about CF carriers).
So I almost feel like I can't get excited or emotionally attached until after 16 weeks when I know everything is almost "ok".

Just want to say I am SO excited but it scares me that there are things that could happen also.

Does anyone ever go through these feelings?

Re: Emotionally Attached?

I feel that way too. I have had 2 Back to back MC's before I had my son. As much as we wanted to be thrilled, we were so scared. I waited until 16 weeks to even talk about my pregnancy out loud to anyone. I totally get it. I just had an etopic pregnancy and did not share the news that I was pregnant with anyone but close family. I think I probably won't be excited until the "safe mark" should we get pregnant again either. I can't for my own self preservation. Everyone is different. You have to do what works for you. I don't think there are any wrong answers, you're entitled to feel however you want to.

Re: Emotionally Attached?

Thank you for sharing. It's nice I can vent and people "get it" on this board.

Best of luck LIBuckeye

Also, - if your name as anything to do with OSU - we are big fans!

Re: Emotionally Attached?

I have those feelings. It is incredibly normal.

For those of us who have to go through so much to conceive and stay pregnant, it is really hard to accept the reality of it all when it happens. It is very surreal. At least for me.

For me, there was little peace and when I had an m/c, I became worried that I will not be able to enjoy any subsequent pregnancies the way that everyone else seems to.

It is hard for me to say this and it may be hard for many to read, but I know I will not feel 100% safe until I am at home with my newborn child after having given birth. I am working on getting that feeling to subside before I get PG again or it will be stressful on me, my DH and most importantly, my child. I want so much to enjoy a pregnancy when it happens. I pray that I can.

Re: Emotionally Attached?

Best of Luck to you too! BTW, DH went to OSU & is the biggest Buckeye fan ever- where the LIBuckeye tag comes in. Just try to maintain a positive attitude and have faith. That's all you can do!

Re: Emotionally Attached?

Yep. Me...Having had multiple early losses this is one of my greates fears. My time of safety extends to viability whi9ch is around 27 weeks...So I am sure my pregnancy will be a nervous one

Re: Emotionally Attached?

I was superstitious throughout my pregnancy even though I did not go through as much to get pregnant as many of my friends have. I became more confident in the pregnancy as it progressed but I do not think that I would have been capable of feeling totally relieved by reaching any particular week in the pregnancy. But please do not worry. Even though I was scared for my pregnancy and I ended up having a major complication, there was still a lot that I was able to enjoy about being pregnant.

Re: Emotionally Attached?

I will definitely be a wreck...as I have been each time. I have been pregnant so many times. I agree with Melijane, probably not unti 27 weeks, after the baby is viable and all my testing has been completed will I even begin to rest easy.

Re: Emotionally Attached?

I'm 37 weeks now but after the 4 m/c's last year I am still emotionally unattached. It probably doesn't help that Dh has been deployed for most of this pregnancy and may miss the birth. One of the midwives in my practice went thru multiple miscarriages before having her daughter and she has been a Godsend to me and told me not to worry and that she will be here for me when I lose it after I give birth from keeping everything inside for so long because she can relate.
I am so greatful to still be pregnant but since my RE couldn't find a 100% reason, which he informed me was a good thing and just changed some things for me I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop since my first trimester.

Re: Emotionally Attached?

I am currently 22 weeks and had a hard time getting attached. At the beginning my husband was ecstatic and I was just kind of numb. I was a nervous wreck especially because I had cramping and spotting until 13 weeks. Its only been in the last few weeks that I'm allowing myself to be excited. I still have some bad days but I just keep trying to stay positive.

Re: Emotionally Attached?

I can't even bring myself to get the IF process started for fear of becoming emotionally attached and committed to the idea of having a child and then failing. I've taken the safe way out of everything in my life -- i.e., I couldn't be rejected by Cornell because I didn't apply -- and I'm finding that this is no different.

Message edited 11/5/2007 3:43:54 PM.

Re: Emotionally Attached?

I think whatever gets you through with your sanity intact is the way to go. It just still unnerves me how some people are soo "whatever" when they discuss their pregnancies knowing what i'm going through.. Sorry for the vent I guess i've been letting it build for a while.

Re: Emotionally Attached?

It took me a few months to feel comfortable being pg. The heartache that came with IF spilled over into my pregnancy. Now, I am 5 months and I still cannot believe what's to come! Everyone is different and being cautious is normal after going through so many ups and downs. I have to say, I didn't share that with many people, except for on here, of course!

Take care!

Re: Emotionally Attached?

After 4 failed iui's the 5th took and even when I saw the positive hpt's I wasn't jumping for joy. I didn't want to start caring for something that took me so long to get if I felt that at any moment I could lose it.

At 13 weeks, I can't say that I wasn't worried (more like terrified that something would happen and I would lose the pg), and still felt detached. It wasn't until two weeks ago (at 24 weeks) that I felt him really move that I finally felt that it was ok to be happy.

I guess the reality is that anything can happen, and that all we can do is take it one day at a time.

Re: Emotionally Attached?

I think it's totally normal. After years of IF and getting pregnant from IVF each milestone was a Godsend but at the same time I was still cautious. After 12 weeks I felt a little better, a little better after the 20 weeks sono and so on and so forth. But I have to tell you even at 38 weeks I'm still cautious...I think years of suffering from IF can do that to you. I just can't wait to hold her.