Email regarding work etiquette

Dear Employees:
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals
throughout the company have been using foul language during the course
of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received
from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language
will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical
importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when
communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and
Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper
exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the f___you're doing.


2) TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting B__ch.


3) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?


4) TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No f______ way.


5) TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be sh__ing me!


6) TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my f______ problem.

8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This sh__ won't work.

10) TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the h___ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat sh__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job *****.

17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the h___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a pr_ck.


Thank You,
Human Resources
(and remember Human Resources; you think you're human, they think
you're a resource)

Re: Email regarding work etiquette

Re: Email regarding work etiquette

HAHAHH!
I need to keep a few of those in mind!

Re: Email regarding work etiquette

Re: Email regarding work etiquette

Re: Email regarding work etiquette

that's really a good one and i could use this most definitely at work with one of our co-workers right caj?

Message edited 5/5/2006 10:40:39 AM.

Re: Email regarding work etiquette

14) TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
F___ it, I'm on salary.

Re: Email regarding work etiquette

Re: Email regarding work etiquette

So, I guess I've been doing things wrong

Re: Email regarding work etiquette

My favorite:

17) TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the h___ died and made you boss?

Re: Email regarding work etiquette

Re: Email regarding work etiquette

8) TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the f___?