EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

I'm sorry - this is long & there probably isn't anything anyone wants to say, but I'm feeling pretty sad today & I just need to get it out. DH is very supportive & keeps telling me that he's proud & that I did my best, but he doesn't really get why I'm SO upset.

I realized this morning that I have to start supplementing w/formula in the next day or two. My freezer stash is gone (I have 2 bags left) & nothing I've done has fixed my supply when pumping...not even a little bit. Fenugreek, MM tea, extra water, oatmeal, more daily calories, replacing my pumps tubes/parts, etc...you name it - nothing has helped.

I know that I should be happy & grateful that I made it this far (and I am), but 12m was my goal and I feel like a failure. I have bad allergies (envt'l & food) and it was VERY important to me to try & make a year. DS looks 100% like my dh & has his sweet temperament. Me? I gave him eczema, my dairy allergy & who knows what else. It's stupid, I know, but I felt like EBFing was the best gift I could give him to try & prevent these things & now I've failed. He has them both & I can't even make the 1 year mark w/out help. All good things came from daddy & mommy, well, she's not contributing anything good now.

I know how extremely stupid that sounds, but at my core that's how I feel. Like a big fat failure who gave him allergies & painful skin issues. Way to go mom

Re: EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

10.5 months is a great accomplishment! I'm sure that you can make it to a year just BFing in the morning at night, which means DS will still be getting BM! Don't beat yourself up about it, you have made it much longer than most. My DS is the same age as yours and this morning, I swear I didn't have enough BM for him, I think my supply is waning a bit too.

Re: EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

At 10.5 months I would talk to the ped before starting formula if he's never had any. It might be okay to introduce soy or lactose free milk if it's not every feeding.

Re: EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

Thanks so much ladies I feel like a jerk for even making this post, but I have no one IRL that gets where I'm coming from & I just needed to get it out

That's a great point about maybe skipping formula altogether - thank you. I'm going to call the ped back to ask about that.

Michelle - I'm sorry to hear that your supply may be dipping too. I hope that it's just a temporary thing

Re: EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

YOu made it further than I did. I made it to 8.5 months before he started to need formula. I am a working Mom and I just stopped respsonding to the pump. All the supplements did nothing for me either.

I felt the same way you did. It took a while but, I started to get over it. Then I felt that way again when my supply took and ever larger dip and his two daycare bottles were more formula than BM.

It's soo hard. Hang in there. It'll be okay. You will make it to 12 months but, it just won't be exclusive BM.

ETA: I just read another response and I think you should ask about skipping formula. I gave Liam milk at 11 months when I started to wean him. I wanted him to be done at 12 months exactly. (things changed when at 11.5 months I got really sick and had to stop BFing immediatly so I could go on meds. At that point he just went right to milk all the time.. but, that's a different story)

Message edited 7/20/2010 10:22:08 AM.

Re: EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

10.5 months is beyond excellent!!

Re: EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

10.5 months is GREAT!


I made it to under 8months and felt terrible about having to stop. My supply wasnt cooperating. I felt guilty & like a bad mommy.
truth be told... I was much happier once I stopped. I had my body back and she didnt care either way.


Also, if your son does end up having allergies don't beat yourself up. Dont think it had ANYTHING to do with your stopping bf.

My sister EBF all 4 of her children until 1 year. 1 of her kids has TERRIBLE allergies. I really think it's just the luck of the draw.

Re: EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

DS went off formula at 10.5 months, so I would definitely ask about skipping it.

Re: EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

this is something that hits us so hard when it's all we want to do.

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I was in your shoes, and I was NEVER able to fully provide for my son. he's been supplemented since the beginning.

I know it won't really help b/c of how you feel, but please know that what you have done for your son is truly a GIFT. please don't think any less of yourself.

and he is STILL getting all of those nutrients, STILL getting all of your immunity. and now, he'll be getting some added benefits from the formula as well (if you go that route) vitamin D.

I agree with LB though. talk to your ped first. you may be able to go directly to milk (or a milk substitute).

there are probably so many other wonderful things about you that your son has received. don't focus on the two you are least happy about!

Re: EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

oh my gosh honey PLEASE don't feel like a failure!!! I know, it's hard...I felt like a failure for a million different reasons in the early months and no matter how many times someone told me I was doing a great job I didn't believe them. But that is FANTASTIC, M! That is a GREAT run!!

Re: EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

as PPs said, you have done a great job in getting this far!

Re: EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

Absolutely to you!! 10.5 months is a great job!!!! You did give your child an excellent gift!!! Don't feel bad...you made it this far!!! Good for you!!!!!

Re: EBF moms - feeling sorry for myself

Thank you ladies all so much I was talking with my mom earlier & she also kept trying to get me to focus on what an accomplishment it is that I made it this far so I'm going to try & convince myself of that. I'm being silly, I know...but I think Ophelia summed it up best when she said that it's something that hits us so hard when it's all we want to do. I'll get over it eventually I'm sure - we all do, right?

On a similar note, the ped finally called me back about whether or not we should skip formula altogether & she told me that she wants me to start w/soy formula so we'll be giving that a try tomorrow.

Thanks again for all of the support ladies - you made me feel a lot better