DS (almost 3) pretending things are guns...

Recently DS (will be 3 on Oct) has been pointing things at me/DH (the TV remote, other toys) and saying pew pew pew pew. So I asked him today: "I don't know what that means what are you doing?" and he said shooting you. We do not talk about or play with guns in our house, and his TV is monitored closely. He goes to daycare, so I'm fairly sure he picked it up from a friend. I know this stuff happens. But what can I do/say to STRONGLY DISCOURAGE this without getting angry? It isn't his fault, he isn't doing something bad, but this isn't play I want to allow.

ETA: Would you mention to daycare? Not in a negative way but more like - we think he may be picking this up from a friend, and were just wondering how this type of play is dealt with during the day?

Message edited 8/29/2016 6:59:32 PM.

Re: DS (almost 3) pretending things are guns...

I was in the exact same situation. I had the whole thing under control until their father let them watch Star Wars. When my kids pretend to shoot, I remind them that we don't like guns and that guns hurt people. My 4 year old creatively explained that he was just pretending to shoot me with water so it was ok ;). But once the genie is out of the bottle, I don't think it can go back in. I still refuse to buy them guns of any kind (even water guns - we buy shooters that don't look like guns) but I've relaxed my stance about finger guns, etc. I continually remind them that this is just pretend and that in real life guns hurt people. They're just kids and something about guns, as disturbing as it is, is just vastly appealing to young boys as evidenced by their persistence despite our efforts to curtail it. For now I let a little occasional pretend shooting go for short periods, and then redirect them. I plan to revisit the conversation once they are older and can better understand.

I do think it's fine to ask the daycare what they do in these instances.

Message edited 8/29/2016 8:26:48 PM.

DS (almost 3) pretending things are guns...

Aside from making sure you reinforce that it is pretend play and that real guns can be dangerous and can hurt people, there isn't much you can do. You can't keep him in a bubble, so he will pick these things up from other kids. If you don't want play guns, nerf guns, etc., in your house, that's fine, but he will encounter them at friend's houses, so it's better to be open about it and definitely revisit it when he is older.

DS (almost 3) pretending things are guns...

We don't allow gun play in the house, at least I don't. LO is in daycare and he picks up A LOT from there. He is also 3 but I try to tell him that you don't do that in mommy's house, which is totally understands. I can't monitor everything he does at school. If he starts doing something that actually hurts himself or people, than I address it (like jumping off the slide) but I feel like I can't tell daycare that they shouldn't allow the kids to play guns, only because other parents do allow such behavior. Try to focus on just making the rule that he can't play guns in the house, just like we enforce so throwing the baseball in the house...no guns around mommy.

Re: DS (almost 3) pretending things are guns...

At 3, I remember thinking that I could stop the behavior. I don't allow toy guns or balls in the house... Interesting that a PP mentioned this too (I have no desire to have balls thrown indoors). I took away sticks that he used as guns and swords.

At 6, I realize that there is no stopping gunplay. I think boys are predisposed for this... Hormonally or genetically. Most toys that are for the slightly older age set have guns in them... From pirate ships, Legos, animal adventure sets, to even space shuttles. For them, it's less about killing and more about power (boom boom) and connected to good guys vs bad guys play. Last I saw DS do gunplay, he "shot down" a pretend ship that older kids were teasing him that he can't go on. I'm sure there is a whole psych analysis of gunplay in boys... But I'm willing to bet it's totally normal.

My girl wants nothing to do with it (she's practically the same age). She just doesn't get excited by it.

We do talk about not hurting people or animals (even bugs). We talk about 9/11 and bad people and what makes a good person turn bad... No one is born bad... (anger... I tell you, I "understand" Star Wars, anger & the dark side more now with a 6 year old than I did when I watched it first as a young adult). Personally, I think this is more important and will be more effective than saying "don't shoot".

I was against superhero too... Up until recently, when DS protected a kid against a known bully.

Just talk, talk a lot.

DS (almost 3) pretending things are guns...

I was very strong about not allowing gun play of any sort from DS. Then this pass year in school he got into Star Wars and playing cops and robbers at the playground with school. Everything was becoming a pretend gun.

We just make him understand ALL the time that real guns kill and hurt people. We have talked to him about what to do if a friend from school should ever ask if he wants to see their 'parents gun' (not every gun owner is responsible so I cover my basis using real life stories) and tell him that he should always say no and go tell an adult right away if we are not there. We also tell him he is not to point it at anyone, no matter what game he is playing. He can point it towards the ground or in the air, but never at someone.

DH does not want him to not pretend play - he grew up, heck even I grew up playing cops and robbers and I understood the difference between a real gun versus pretend. My brother just gave him his old toy rifle from when he was a little boy. He played with it just like DS plays with it and then it hung on his wall until he moved out. He told DS the same thing we told him, never point it at anyone and real guns can kill people. This is only for pretend. So far, DS has been playing with it properly so I have not had to take it from him. If I see that he is not using it as pretend play then it will get taken away.