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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Does NOT want to go on the potty
MY 3 yr old screams when I put him on the potty or when I take off his diaper. I guess he feels the urge bc he will scream and cry sitting on the potty seat. He says he can't go on. I think he doesn't like the feeling of having nothing on his penis if you know what I'm saying. I told him to push it down if that helps. You think I'm torturing him making him go. Anyone deal with this?
He has an older brother and understands. He's just so stubborn.
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Posted 9/9/14 10:04 AM  |
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dlj97
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
Name:
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Does NOT want to go on the potty
Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think as a parent you have to be the one to decide that it is time to train. Once you commit to it, he will have to as well. I am sure it is hard with the screaming, but I am sure he will stop pretty quickly when he doesn't have a choice. What about giving him toilet paper to hold it down. Have you tried putting a target in the toilet to make it a game?
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| Posted 9/9/14 10:23 AM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Does NOT want to go on the potty
Posted by dlj97
Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think as a parent you have to be the one to decide that it is time to train. Once you commit to it, he will have to as well. I am sure it is hard with the screaming, but I am sure he will stop pretty quickly when he doesn't have a choice. What about giving him toilet paper to hold it down. Have you tried putting a target in the toilet to make it a game?
Yup, tried the Cheerios and didn't work. I'll do the toilet paper too. I tried bribes and now he has nothing on his bottoms and will hold it in. I'll stay strong. I commited when DS1 was potty training and I remember it being a nightmare, but not like this. At least DS1 would stay on the potty for a while and eventually make. DS2 will sit a bit then scream and cry.
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| Posted 9/9/14 10:33 AM |
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blue11
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1706 total posts
Name:
kat
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Does NOT want to go on the potty
DS refuses to go on potty - doctor said don't push it because then he will hold it in and when he's ready he will do it, wait for him to be ready.
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| Posted 9/9/14 10:36 AM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Does NOT want to go on the potty
Posted by blue11
DS refuses to go on potty - doctor said don't push it because then he will hold it in and when he's ready he will do it, wait for him to be ready.
THat's DS too. He's sooo stubborn and will hold it in once the diaper or pull ups are off. Not that I believe in pullups, but I have leftover from DS1. What age is your DS?
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| Posted 9/9/14 10:41 AM |
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blue11
LIF Adult
Member since 2/11 1706 total posts
Name:
kat
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Re: Does NOT want to go on the potty
Posted by EricaAlt
Posted by blue11
DS refuses to go on potty - doctor said don't push it because then he will hold it in and when he's ready he will do it, wait for him to be ready.
THat's DS too. He's sooo stubborn and will hold it in once the diaper or pull ups are off. Not that I believe in pullups, but I have leftover from DS1. What age is your DS?
He will be 3 in January...he has finally started telling me right after he poops in his diaper and doesn't like to sit in it anymore - that's a BIG step because he used to happily sit in a dirty diaper! lol. I think if he's holding it I would just wait a couple of months maybe he's not ready yet. Does he do pee in the potty?
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| Posted 9/9/14 10:44 AM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Does NOT want to go on the potty
Posted by blue11
Posted by EricaAlt
Posted by blue11
DS refuses to go on potty - doctor said don't push it because then he will hold it in and when he's ready he will do it, wait for him to be ready.
THat's DS too. He's sooo stubborn and will hold it in once the diaper or pull ups are off. Not that I believe in pullups, but I have leftover from DS1. What age is your DS?
He will be 3 in January...he has finally started telling me right after he poops in his diaper and doesn't like to sit in it anymore - that's a BIG step because he used to happily sit in a dirty diaper! lol. I think if he's holding it I would just wait a couple of months maybe he's not ready yet. Does he do pee in the potty?
No, he doesn't. He turned 3 in July so it's time.
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| Posted 9/9/14 10:48 AM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Does NOT want to go on the potty
IMO you have to toss the diapers/pull ups. Going back an forth will cause confusion. Also put him in underwear and let him feel the wet. Also I wouldn't let him just sit on the potty. If he won't go take him off and put back on if he says he needs to go or starts an accident.
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| Posted 9/9/14 11:52 AM |
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MrsO
Big Brothers to Be
Member since 1/07 4521 total posts
Name:
Maureen
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Re: Does NOT want to go on the potty
If I were you I would give it a break for a month or so and then go back. My boys we waited until they were ready and we had no issues. My older one would hold it all day and I was concerned so we waited and then it all clicked. He didn't like underwear so we used a pull up but he never would pee in pull up.
DS number 2 didn't care and would just pee anywhere he didn't mind getting wet. So we held off a couple of months and we never looked back.
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| Posted 9/9/14 12:41 PM |
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ali120206
2 Boys
Member since 7/06 17795 total posts
Name:
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Does NOT want to go on the potty
I trained DS 1 at 3y4m. It was the first weekend we had free after he turned 3.
I put him in underwear the first day, took him to the potty at regular intervals and he only went on the floor.
The second day, he woke up and went to the potty early - from there it was smooth sailing (number 2 took a little longer but, thankfully he only did it at home so it made it easier).
The third day - he went to daycare in underwear and had no accidents.
I think the key is that the underwear were a lot more comfortable than the diaper.
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| Posted 9/9/14 12:57 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Does NOT want to go on the potty
This is an area where kids have the control, not the parents!!
They know it too, so the more you force/bribe/threaten/motivate/punish, the harder it will be.
I have friends who were done with diapers, but their kids were not!!
My boys both trained easily at 3.5 years old. It took a few days. No tears, candy, stickers, because they wanted to do it. Once they want to do it, it us actually easy.
I personally would rather wait until they are ready, then subject them to tears, fights, cleaning up accidents, etc for 6 months.
My doctor said it is only a developmental delay if they are 4+ and not trained.
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| Posted 9/9/14 4:29 PM |
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Katareen
5,000 Posts!
Member since 4/10 7180 total posts
Name:
Katherine
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Re: Does NOT want to go on the potty
Posted by dlj97
Please don't take this the wrong way, but I think as a parent you have to be the one to decide that it is time to train. Once you commit to it, he will have to as well. I am sure it is hard with the screaming, but I am sure he will stop pretty quickly when he doesn't have a choice. What about giving him toilet paper to hold it down. Have you tried putting a target in the toilet to make it a game?
I respectfully disagree with this. You can't force a child to potty train, nor should you IMO. It has to be something they're ready for both mentally and physically.
I tried a few times with my DD, and eventually at exactly 3 years old she decided on her own terms that she was ready.
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| Posted 9/9/14 5:10 PM |
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dlj97
LIF Adult
Member since 7/10 4399 total posts
Name:
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Re: Does NOT want to go on the potty
Posted by Annie91606
This is an area where kids have the control, not the parents!!
They know it too, so the more you force/bribe/threaten/motivate/punish, the harder it will be.
I have friends who were done with diapers, but their kids were not!!
My boys both trained easily at 3.5 years old. It took a few days. No tears, candy, stickers, because they wanted to do it. Once they want to do it, it us actually easy.
I personally would rather wait until they are ready, then subject them to tears, fights, cleaning up accidents, etc for 6 months.
My doctor said it is only a developmental delay if they are 4+ and not trained.
I'm sorry, but I think the parents have all the control here - especially when the child is 3! Kids are not mini adults - they don't think like we do about using the bathroom, especially since diapers are all they know. Using the toilet is something that needs to be taught to them, and it is part of parenting to teach them. Kids are more stubborn as they get older, so it is easier to teach them at closer to 2 than 3. DD was trained at 25 months with no tears or fights. We used stickers, but so what?
OP - I don't know your DS, but I truly believe that the tears and fighting will not last long. Find whatever motivates him and try to use that to make him go. Obviously listen to your doctor, but I doubt he will hold it to a point that it is unhealthy. We gave DD a ton of juice while we were training to make her have to pee more and to help her be able to recognize her body's signals that she has to go. GL.
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| Posted 9/9/14 5:12 PM |
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EricaAlt
LIF Adult
Member since 7/08 22665 total posts
Name:
Erica
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Re: Does NOT want to go on the potty
Thank you all for the responses. You were right and once he finally went and got the feeling he calmed down. I did put him in pull-ups bc we had plans with friends to go out to eat. He totally surprised me and said he had to go. Took him to the bathroom at the restaurant and he went! Pull-up dry! Gotta keep working at it. Thanks!
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| Posted 9/9/14 8:35 PM |
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Annie91606
Brotherly love
Member since 12/07 1816 total posts
Name:
Anne
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Re: Does NOT want to go on the potty
Posted by dlj97
Posted by Annie91606
This is an area where kids have the control, not the parents!!
They know it too, so the more you force/bribe/threaten/motivate/punish, the harder it will be.
I have friends who were done with diapers, but their kids were not!!
My boys both trained easily at 3.5 years old. It took a few days. No tears, candy, stickers, because they wanted to do it. Once they want to do it, it us actually easy.
I personally would rather wait until they are ready, then subject them to tears, fights, cleaning up accidents, etc for 6 months.
My doctor said it is only a developmental delay if they are 4+ and not trained.
I'm sorry, but I think the parents have all the control here - especially when the child is 3! Kids are not mini adults - they don't think like we do about using the bathroom, especially since diapers are all they know. Using the toilet is something that needs to be taught to them, and it is part of parenting to teach them. Kids are more stubborn as they get older, so it is easier to teach them at closer to 2 than 3. DD was trained at 25 months with no tears or fights. We used stickers, but so what?
GL.
Nope- the parents do not have the control here.
I agree with you, it is up to us to teach them what to do, and model the behavior of using the toilet vs going in a diaper. Talk about it, read books to them about it, etc.
However, they still control their bodily functions, not us. And, in many cases, kids are ready as young toddlers. But, many are not. Especially boys, who may not mind being in dirty diapers, or could not care less about wearing cute underwear.
That is why you hear about so many power struggles on here, and elsewhere. Kids being given tons of liquids to make them pee, kids getting constipation issues due to withholding poop, cleaning up accidents for months.
I had friends in tears over their kids potty training woes.
As a parent, I have many issues that I stand firm on despite my kids resistance or not being ready, potty training was not one of them.
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| Posted 9/9/14 9:55 PM |
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