Do you think therapy works?

I'm having a rough month. Well, more like, a rough year, with dealing with issues with my father, my family, and on top of that, my own health/fertility issues, and I'm just about ready to self-implode. Unfortunately, too, it's spilling over into the one source of true happiness for me - my marriage.

So, I think I've finally learned that I'm not all that good with coping with stress, and I want to change that - not just for my marriage, or for myself, but to set a better example for my daughter.

I'm thinking of starting therapy - actually, not thinking, but calling my insurance today to get approval and will set an appointment. The question is, for those ladies who have done therapy in the past, or continue to do so - does it really work? Do you really feel like it can help a person cope better with stress and/or make positive changes in their life?

And if you don't think that therapy helps, what does? Do you really think it's possible for a person to change certain ways in which they act? Not the way they feel/think, but the way they express those feelings and respond to them?

Looking for everyone's thoughts on this...

Re: Do you think therapy works?

I don't know, but its good to have someone impartial to talk to.

Lots of hugs!

Re: Do you think therapy works?

I think it works IF you can find the right therapist for you.

Re: Do you think therapy works?

I believe it helps.
I was in therepy for a while for unresolved issues, and I am definately cured, i guess you can say.

I think its important to talk to someone, but sometimes it takes going to more than one therepist, before you find the connection you are looking for. I think i went to about 5 or 6, before i got it right.

Re: Do you think therapy works?

As long as you can realize that a good therapist will not solve your problems, but enables you to solve them yourself, then yes, it can be very useful. You need to be a willing participant and allow that objective opinion of the therapist to guide you. Also, allow yourself to have good days and bad days - you are only human.

Re: Do you think therapy works?

Ok, so next question then - how do you know what kind of therapist would be right for you? Is it just a question of finding someone you vibe well with?

Re: Do you think therapy works?

Re: Do you think therapy works?

I think it does help if you find someone you gel with...the way to find them is (if you're comfortable) asking people who they might recommend. Another resource is the psychology today website, where they have a list of therapists..another resource is the psychological society...the rest is trial and error..I know people who had to change a couple of times because they didn't feel their therapists connected...good luck and feel better...we know those types of years well and you can do it!

Re: Do you think therapy works?

Message edited 12/26/2007 9:20:26 AM.

Re: Do you think therapy works?

I think it absolutely does help. It gives you a different perspective and someone to speak to who is not biased and is not going to tell you what you want to hear.

I spoke to someone after I had DD b/c I had severe post pardum depression. It was the best thing I did. My family encouraged me to speak to someone b/c they knew that I needed more then they could give me.

good luck

Re: Do you think therapy works?

I believe therapy can be very beneficial. I've been going to a therapist for anxiety for about 2 months now and having him help me become aware of my thoughts has been so helpful to me.

He's also given me strategies to use so that I can nip some of my anxiety in the butt before it gets me too upset. All in all, it's been a positive experience. Though, it was a little scary becoming aware of some of the things that I was doing at first.


Best of luck with your decision and I hope that you can find someone that can really help you.

I can't reccomend anyone since my therapist is in VA, but please FM me if you have any questions.

Re: Do you think therapy works?

I absolutely believe therapy works. I've been seeing a therapist for years, and if you knew me then and know me now, I'm a completely different person (still me though, if that makes sense). I just handle situations much differently than I used to, and don't let things/people get to me they way they used to. I have a better handle on myself and what stresses me now.

I think it's key though to have an open mind about sharing what's inside, and to find a therapist you can trust and open up to.

Re: Do you think therapy works?

I've been in therapy before and yes, it helps a lot. You have to commit to it though and don't expect to feel good or have a revelation at each sessions. Some sessions I would cry and leave upset but overall therapy helped me a lot. Be completely honest with your therapist, don't hold back anything.

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I hope it works...otherwise, I'm in the wrong field

It's absolutely important for you to find someone you're comfortable with. I've used an analogy with some that therapists are like ice cream. You would never just try vanilla and decide you don't like ice cream at all, would you?? There are different flavors for a reason. Same with therapists. There's a different style for different personalities.

There are many theorys. For example, REBT, will help but you need to be an active participant, often doing "homework" for therapy. Client-centered is more about having your feelings validated and realizing that you're not alone. It's a purely empathetic approach. Some people combine styles too.

Just another tip...

Psychiatrists...won't really talk and do therapy, but will be quick to prescribe a med. (they're the only ones who can)

Psychologists are trained in therapy and will talk, have DR degrees and tend to charge more $$, but some accept insurance

Licensed Mental Health Counselors(LMHC), new NYS Licensure, trained in therapy and will talk. Most don't accept insurance yet because the field is flooded with providers, but we're working on this

Social Workers: Not formally trained in therapy through their MS degree unless they did additional training in a clinic or something, usually accept insurance though.

If you need any help, don't hesitate to FM. I hope this helps...GL Beth


eta:my descriptions do not apply to ALL people in each of those categories....it's just a general break-down.

Message edited 12/26/2007 10:13:41 AM.

Re: Do you think therapy works?

I have had two therapists in the past, one whom I loved and one whom I loathed. In retrospect, I think I was a lot more open with the one I loathed. I think I gained a lot form each experience. I am actually thinking about going back again.

Message edited 12/26/2007 9:58:26 AM.

Re: Do you think therapy works?

I see a CSW who has been clinically trained in psychology. I have been seeing her for about 4 years and I will say that she has really really helped me cope and given me new skills to handle life.

I had another therapist that I fired. So there is definitely something to finding the right one.

My doctor recommended my therapist and he said that we would be great together and he was right.

Mom and dad are now going for therapy and I can see it working even after only a few sessions.

I'm a believer of therapy. My brother is now seeing a psychiatrist because he needs meds. I will say that this doctor does do talk therapy and is there for us as a family for counseling. He charges $350 an hour and we will have to submit it to our insurance and get reimbursed at 80%.

My therapist does not accept insurance either but I submit it as an out of network provider and get it reimbursed at 70%. That's worth it for me.

Lastly, the way I know that therapy works for me is that when I leave a session I feel great. I feel like I gained something. I take those feelings and carry them through until the next session where I discuss what has happened and how the new tools I've learned have helped or not.

I have homework too. Addressing things in my life takes more than just a therapy session. You have to work at it like anything else. What's great about that is that it's really just for you. It's something I do for myself that makes me feel better. I have no plans to stop therapy any time soon.

I did use some anti anxiety meds for a while as well that were prescribed through my regular doc. You don't need a psychiatrist to get those meds.

Please let me know if you want some more feedback. Feel free to FM.

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I think EVERYONE can benefit from therapy. I went when my parents were divorcing at like 13 or 14 and also in my 20's when I got out of a long term unhealthy relationship and I was doing some stupid ****

It helped tremendously

Re: Do you think therapy works?

Therapy can work. It can give people a chance to really talk about themselves without guilt or fear. But it can be a while until you find the right therapist. And you have to go in with reasonable expectations. Some people think they will visit a therapist once or twice and then they are 'cured'. Therapists can help you identify issues - but it is still going to be a lot of work for you to pull through those challenges.

Therapy did not work for ME personally. The only thing that worked for me was finding gratitude. Really taking time to appreciate and concentrate and focus on the things that were good in my life - and minimizing the negative. That small shift really changed a lot of my life and the dynamics in my relationships. I made a concious effort to be positive about the most little things, and after a while it became easier to see the everyday miracles without having to try.

Re: Do you think therapy works?

I have done therapy in the past.

It helped me to understand how upbringing and relationship with my parents influenced me in my internal thinking and relationships in everyday life. Before that, I wasn't aware about how incidences in relationships were repeating parental and familial patterns. For example, I grew up feeling a responsibility to take care of my parents. Then in some of my adult relationships, such as with my first husband, or with boyfriends, or with a best friend, I took on the role of caretaker. It wasn't the real me and my behavior was causing problems. If you'd like more info, please let me know.

I think therapy was helpful.

Re: Do you think therapy works?

I 100% think it works.
I was terrible at relationships until I started going to therapy. I went for about two years, learned how to deal with trouble in a relationship and also learned how to choose relationships.

It's not just about someone impartial to listen to you, it's also about how they make you see things in a different light. Sometimes it's you making that is the problem and sometimes it's how you deal with others being the problem.

And, if you don't like the first therapist you meet, look for another one - not everyone meshes right away. I didn't like my first therapist, but loved the second guy I went to right away. A close friend of mine went through the same thing.

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Re: Do you think therapy works?

Thank you SO much for your input ladies, I truly appreciate it.

There are two reasons why I'm so hesitant - first, because Dh strongly disagrees with therapy, and simply put, obviously he's an influence on me.

Second, my mother has been in therapy for years, and I saw what it did to her first-hand - it made her become more and more self-absorbed, self-consumed, marcissistic and just plain weird.

But, I am not my mother, and what I'm really looking for is someone to help provide new tools for me to understand my behavior better, make some changes, and cope better when my life becomes overly stressful.

Thanks again everyone...

Re: Do you think therapy works?

My DH is opposed to therapy as well. He had some bad experiences. When he whines about me going I just tell him the subject is not open for discussion. He thinks I don't need it anymore but it's sure nice to have a reality check once in a while with her. She is also a great resource to me in her field when I need referrals.

Ask anyone who knows me and they will say that therapy has helped me.

As far as your mother, well it sounds like she has some issues that haven't been addressed.

I think a new therapist would be good for her!

Good luck.