Do you sometimes forget...

that you're trying to have a baby?

I have come to the point after cycles of perpetual disappointment where I forgot that the end result of what we're trying to do here is have a baby. Lately I feel like my injections are like nightly vitamins - something you just do.

I used to be wayyyy more into it. Every cycle I would get more excited that it might just be the one ....... but I learned that even a pregnancy isn't a guarantee.. So these days I'm just bitter and sad and feel like this wait for a miracle (a healthy miracle) is just never going to end

This was just my rant which I have been having TOO MANY OF these days!!

Message edited 2/21/2011 11:30:00 PM.

Re: Do you sometimes forget...

YES!! Some days I feel like it's just what I do. I know that I want nothing more than a baby but after so long in the IF game I sometimes can't find the line between wanting a baby and doing IF treatments bc that's "what I'm supposed to be doing". Not sure if I can really explain but it's basically like after so many cycles with no baby at the end, I feel like the IF treatment is what I'm doing, not trying for a baby.......it's hard to put into words

Re: Do you sometimes forget...

When I was going through my process to get PG, it took me a number of months to simply accept the fact that what I had to do to get PG was normal for me. Was it normal compared to everyone else? Hardly, but that's what I had to do. Even through the losses, I had to remember this.

After my second m/c, I remember looking at Dr. Rosenfeld and said "I cannot do this anymore" because I was putting forth so much time and effort with no end result. He looked at me and said "If you DON'T do this, you won't have a baby." It sounds awfully harsh, but it was the "kick start" I needed to get my brain where it needed to be. It still took a couple of months after that, to conceive Abby, but it happened. Trudging along at 7am with a cup in my hands to NSUH was just something I had to do. It sadly became normal to me.

Hang in there.

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Yes! I was totally thinking yesterday that I can't imagine what it would be like to have a baby after all this time.

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Sort of. At first it was exciting, because I felt that we were "Really" trying and that it would happen soon. But after almost 10 months of "Really" trying and 10 BFN's,I think I am starting to resent it all and soemtime catch myself wondering if it will ever happen, and if not why continue all of this.

But when I see all the babies, and all the women on here getting their BFP's, I am reassured that it will happen and that it is all worth it.

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I've been feeling the same way lately. It seems like everything has become just a routine, a bad habit, and when I'm not cycling I feel lost.... like I have no purpose in life if I'm not taking my supplements or injecting myself. This is weird.

Re: Do you sometimes forget...

haha yes, when i was going through IF it was like a battle, once I actually got pregnant I was like...really? a baby? oh crap...it was weird!

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if there's ONE thing, and only ONE thing that kept me positive during IF.. it was remembering what the end goal was.

that was the one thing that helped me through the emotional stuff. and the one thing that made me happy instead of sad when i saw my friends babies or heard that a new friend was pregnant. yes, it hurt a little, but i used it as motivation to remind myself what the goal was.

without that goal its easy to lose site of it all. IMO if too many days go by where you forget that that is the goal, it may be time to reevaluate your perspective.

regardless of everything i just said, i still you!!

Re: Do you sometimes forget...

Posted by FlowerWife


without that goal its easy to lose site of it all. IMO if too many days go by where you forget that that is the goal, it may be time to reevaluate your perspective.

regardless of everything i just said, i still you!!

Message edited 2/22/2011 1:41:14 PM.

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Re: Do you sometimes forget...

I totally agree. Sometimes I just sit and close my eyes and try to imagine a little one sleeping in their swing or playing with their toys. It just seems so unreal and like I will never get there. The way I always elplain it to people who are like "just relax and dont think about it and it will happen" is that I feel like a child on christmas eve. So anxious, excited, and cant wait for the BEST present ever on christmas morning. But for some reason, it has been christmas eve for over 11 months for me. I just want to wake up!! It seems like every month we are just going through the motions, as much as I try to be hopeful and excited it is difficult.

Re: Do you sometimes forget...

Yes! Lately, I have been feeling so discouraged and hopeless. All the IF treatments started to feel like a burden and just a part of life. DH and I actually decided to take a break this cycle. It feels really good not to be keeping track of my CD's and constantly going to the Dr. I hope you feel better soon!

Re: Do you sometimes forget...

It is all so frustrating.

That said, I never forget all of this heartache is with the goal of having a baby. It is the only thing that gets me through it. It hate that I have to do it in order to have a baby, when most of my friend can just and conceive.

The idea of having a biological child of our own is what motivates me to keep going, and is what makes it so heartbreaking when it doesn't work. It is sometimes really difficult to summon up the hope and motivation to keep going after a disappointment though.

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It is so hard. Sometimes I feel like a robot going through the motions because I have completely detached myself from the experience. It's all I know how to do now. Sometimes I daydream about what life would be like without RE appts, shots, etc.

I am soooo tired of this IF roller coaster, but I keep trudging along because we all have the same end goal-a little baby. Gotta keep the faith, right girls??!

Re: Do you sometimes forget...

Thanks ladies, everyone made really good points.


I wish we could all have a weekly group session support group, like once a week for an hour! Would that be enough time to get all our ranting in for the week?


Anyway, it means so much that everyone here understands. I know there's a light at the end of this awful tunnel... I just forget it's there sometimes

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We havent been doing treatments for that long, but it definitely does become routine. Like you said- it's just something you do. Pop a clomid with a prenatal and a handful of other vitamins, go for appointments that you schedule less than 24 hours beforehand and adjust your schedule for them. It's just an annoying routine.

I kinda feel like Flowerwife though. I have had a few friends either have babies or find out they were pregnant recently. When I hear my friends describe how it is to finally hold that baby, it puts it all in perspective for me.

I have also had a few friends who recently got pregnant without fertility where they previously needed treatments to have their DC or stop fertility treatments due to stress and end up getting pregnant on their own. So that gives me new hope too.