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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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Do people NOT get it?
I was dating this creep for a very long time,was enagaed to him- big mastake and broke it off before anything was booked etc. And I broke it off 8 YEARS AGO. I met DH in 1999, got married in 2004. I am VERY HAPPY. Ex fiancee stalked me for a long long time, I had to go to police and a lawyer to get him to stop bothering me. Is it necessary for people to give me updates on him? I am so angry, I got an e mail from my bosses daughter becuase she is pregnant, and I congratulated her, and she proceeds to thank me and then tell me how a mutual friend of hers is friends with him again- I do not want to say anything and stress her out becuase she is pregnant, but I am so annoyed. 
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Posted 12/10/07 11:47 AM  |
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Long Island Weddings
Long Island's Largest Bridal Resource |
june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Do people NOT get it?
But who cares! You don't have feelings for him anymore... So who cares if someone talks to him.
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| Posted 12/10/07 11:50 AM |
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LFitzy79
can hardly wait
Member since 5/05 2650 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Do people NOT get it?
 I'm sure they aren't doing it to upset you, even though that's what it does. They probably just think since it was soo tumultuous, that they'll give you updates-like gossip.
I would ignore what she wrote, because it was a one time comment, but if she mentions something about him again I would say something like "listen, I really don't want to know anything about him, it took so long to get him out of my life, I don't want any part of him creeping back in, thanks for understanding".
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| Posted 12/10/07 11:51 AM |
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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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Re: Do people NOT get it?
EXACTLY. It just irks me to even get this e mail, I do not want to hear a word about him.It took years to get him to leave me alone, I just NEVER want to hear from him again.The things he did to me were terrible.
Message edited 12/10/2007 11:53:25 AM.
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| Posted 12/10/07 11:51 AM |
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MrsPJB2007
MBA at your service!
Member since 7/06 12020 total posts
Name:
MJ
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Re: Do people NOT get it?
you don't have to stress her out--just politely respond in e-mail...."i know you probably don't realize it, but i just have no interest in hearing anything about so-and-so....i hope you understand."
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| Posted 12/10/07 11:51 AM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: Do people NOT get it?
Posted by princess99
I was dating this creep for a very long time,was enagaed to him- big mastake and broke it off before anything was booked etc. And I broke it off 8 YEARS AGO. I met DH in 1999, got married in 2004. I am VERY HAPPY. Ex fiancee stalked me for a long long time, I had to go to police and a lawyer to get him to stop bothering me. Is it necessary for people to give me updates on him? I am so angry, I got an e mail from my bosses daughter becuase she is pregnant, and I congratulated her, and she proceeds to thank me and then tell me how a mutual friend of hers is friends with him again- I do not want to say anything and stress her out becuase she is pregnant, but I am so annoyed.
I totally get where you're coming from. I had an ex that would not go away and had to get the authorities involved. While I've had no one give me updates on this guy I would be somewhat bothered if someone were to. Regardless of whether or not they knew the whole story. It's just something you'd like to put behind you. Again, I totally get it.
As for this person who brought him up, I wouldn't get excited but would explain to her that you had a very bad break up and have NO desire to hear about him at all.
Impress upon her the fact that you have moved on and have NO intention of having him in your life in any way, shape or form.
You don't need to be mean, but I would be clear so there's no confusion.
Oh and to answer the question in your thread title... Because, if you haven't gone through it and experienced the fear of being stalked, people just don't understand what it feels like. It's not like a regular break up.
Hang in there!
Message edited 12/10/2007 11:59:44 AM.
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| Posted 12/10/07 11:57 AM |
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Re: Do people NOT get it?
If you literally didn't resopnd, would she get it?
Don't even say, oh, or ok....
Just:
"Hey guess what - Sally is back with John"
Dead silence.....
"Did you hear what I said?"
Dead silence......
I'm sure she will realize that its not open for discussion...
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| Posted 12/10/07 12:04 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Do people NOT get it?
I think I would tell her that you had to get the authorities involved because he wouldn't leave you alone & the last thing you want to hear is updates on him - and you definitely don't want updates going to him.
I think that would drive the point home. Also, I wouldn't worry about stressing her out while she's pregnant. You're simply asking her not to relay information, you're not asking her to duke it out.
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| Posted 12/10/07 12:08 PM |
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princess99
LIF Adult
Member since 5/05 3944 total posts
Name:
ME
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Re: Do people NOT get it?
Thank you for all of your responses. I am definaltey going to take your advice. 
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| Posted 12/10/07 1:32 PM |
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