disciplining your 14 month old

my DD is going to be 14 months this week.
i find she already knows that certain things are "right" and others are"wrong".
before she does the bad thing, she looks at us with this coniving look. And as soon as I tell her no. TANTRUM!
shes hysterical.
She stomps her feet when she doesnt like something. And the other day (this is a first) i told her V no, and i pointed my pointer finger at her (you know what I mean right) and what does she do..... she points hers back at me and starts bablling!!!!!!!!!! i thought i was going to cry, i couldnt believe it.
can someone please tell me this is normal, she is my first child, first child in the family, i dont want her to be a spoiled brat with tantrums anytime she doesnt get ssomething.

also.... do you recommend any books for this age period... that i should be reading in regard to development.
I had one.. baby's first year week by week, but obviously we're past the 1 yr.

TIA

Re: disciplining your 14 month old

Totally normal....my DD did this for the past month, and now its a bit better...if you look at my posts a few weeks ago, I was upset dealing w/the tantrums, and other summer 09 moms could relate, so I would say, totally normal!