Disappointed in my best friend- UPDATE

My best friend is missing Jordana's first birthday party I discussed the date and time with her before- and she told me she had her cousin's naming in Staten Island that evening, so I made the party at 1. Now she e-mailed me that she misread the invitation and thought it was in LI (its in the city) so she can't make it.

This is like the 3rd event of mine she missed in the last year. She missed my b-day party (that she encouraged me to have) and she almost baield out of my NYE party (which I had because she said none of our friends had a place to go).

This is the same girl who got so mad at me when I would get a babysitter for her DH's b-day party at her house and seh told me I couldn't bring DD. She didn't understand that I just wasn't ready to leave the baby with anyone yet. So I ended up bringing the baby and of course it was fine.

I just e-mailed her asking her if another time would be better (its an evite so I can change it easily). I'm just disappointed.

UPDATE: Well I spoke to her. The naming is a big family event and she can't miss it. Her husband is out of town so she is relying on her sisters (who live in LI) to take her to the naming in Staten Island. One has two babies and one is 8 months pregnant, so a detour into the city is out of the question for both of them. For some reason she really though the party was in LI and thought she would be able to make it when we discussed it.

She asked if we can celebrate Jordana's b-day the day before (on Jordana's real birthday)- so I said yes- and we will.

The one thing about her- when she bails (which she has been doing lately) she always makes it up and does something special the day before or after. I just wish she could be there. Its so nice when everyone is gathered together.

Message edited 3/20/2007 4:12:07 PM.

Re: Disappointed in my best friend

I would not adjust your party to accommodate her. Sounds like she'd probably have an excuse for that too.

Does she have children? I'm guessing no.

Re: Disappointed in my best friend

That's a shame! I also would not change the time for her--you've changed once already.

Re: Disappointed in my best friend

I would stop accomodating her. You were nice enough to change things around the first time for her. Now it's her turn to compromise.

Re: Disappointed in my best friend

Re: Disappointed in my best friend

I think you guys are right. I'll just leave the time as is.

I never changed anything for her initially. I just didn't care about the time (its a BBQ), so I told her I was doing it around 1 and she siad that would be fine.

ETA: Now that I think of it, she has been absent for quite a few baby stuff. Maybe she feels out of the loop and her one sister had a baby 3 months ago and her other sister is due in May.

Message edited 3/20/2007 2:51:30 PM.

Re: Disappointed in my best friend

Leave it as is! I had to play with dates for Bryan's Christening. Not fun.
It's booked with the church now. If my family and friends can be there, thats great. If not, I understand as well.
Its a busy time of year.
I wouldn't change it anymore. If you do, she may have an excuse for that day too.

Re: Disappointed in my best friend

Re: Disappointed in my best friend

That's a shame, and you have every right to feel disappointed... it's heartbreaking, but true that once you have children, it's hard to maintain close friendships with your friends who don't. Who knows, maybe soon she'll turn around...

Re: Disappointed in my best friend

Re: Disappointed in my best friend- UPDATE

Update in first post

Re: Disappointed in my best friend- UPDATE

aww, it sounds like she does want to be there for your daughter.
Im glad it will work out somehow