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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
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The cure IS worse!
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Did you hear?
Did you hear?...
I hate when things start off like that. Gossip but gossip with a serious topic. This post is about people who pass on news like it is gossip but the news is really important to the original person.
In my family we have a rule and a saying to go along with it "It's NOT your news to tell!" I think all people should remember this. If the information is important and very personal don't open your mouth. It might be quite meaningful for the original person to telll the news to each person in their life.
Rambeling here but hope this makes sense. Now my question is, how do I approach each party?
The person who received the news (not from me) is hurt that I haven't told them (I have been trying to get in touch though) how do I make it up to them
The person who blabbed, how do I approach this person (other than flipping out on them which is what I want to do)?
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Posted 11/19/07 3:53 PM  |
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Shelly
She's 7!!!
Member since 8/05 14624 total posts
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Re: Did you hear?
1. Tell the person who is hurt that you're sorry she's hurt, but its not about her. Its about you. You tried to get in touch with her, but weren't able. Why doesn't she focus on the good news instead of being hurt that she didn't hear it directly from you.
2. To the person who blabbed say "I appreciate your excitement, but X was hurt because I didn't tell her myself. This is special news and I want to spread it myself. "
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| Posted 11/19/07 3:59 PM |
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KGools
Happy
Member since 9/06 9532 total posts
Name:
Kim
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Re: Did you hear?
Flip out, but do it in a way that gets your point across. Your news is your news, plain and simple. No one has the right to spread your "gossip" besides you.
As for the party who "heard thru the grapevine", let them know that you tried to reach them before the blabbermouths, but clearly word got to her faster than you did.
Unfortunately, there is no way to stop the chatter... 
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| Posted 11/19/07 4:02 PM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
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Re: Did you hear?
Posted by Shelly
1. Tell the person who is hurt that you're sorry she's hurt, but its not about her. Its about you. You tried to get in touch with her, but weren't able. Why doesn't she focus on the good news instead of being hurt that she didn't hear it directly from you.
2. To the person who blabbed say "I appreciate your excitement, but X was hurt because I didn't tell her myself. This is special news and I want to spread it myself. "
I agree.
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| Posted 11/19/07 4:09 PM |
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dandr10199
Grace is growing up too fast!
Member since 10/05 11561 total posts
Name:
Dina
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Re: Did you hear?
Posted by nrthshgrl
Posted by Shelly
1. Tell the person who is hurt that you're sorry she's hurt, but its not about her. Its about you. You tried to get in touch with her, but weren't able. Why doesn't she focus on the good news instead of being hurt that she didn't hear it directly from you.
2. To the person who blabbed say "I appreciate your excitement, but X was hurt because I didn't tell her myself. This is special news and I want to spread it myself. "
I agree.
I agree as well.
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| Posted 11/19/07 4:26 PM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
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LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Did you hear?
I think that the way you just explained it to us is the way you should tell them.
For the person that opened their mouth, I would say - you know it was my news to tell whether it was for being excited about it or even if it was sad - it was yours to tell.
For the person that received the news - you have to tell them you are sorry - but they have to understand that it was out of your control
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| Posted 11/19/07 4:29 PM |
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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: Did you hear?
Posted by CoopersMom01
Flip out, but do it in a way that gets your point across. Your news is your news, plain and simple. No one has the right to spread your "gossip" besides you.
As for the party who "heard thru the grapevine", let them know that you tried to reach them before the blabbermouths, but clearly word got to her faster than you did.
Unfortunately, there is no way to stop the chatter...
I agree and I'm mad on your behalf! (but you already knew that)
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| Posted 11/19/07 5:32 PM |
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DebG
Pick a cause & stand up for it
Member since 5/05 18602 total posts
Name:
The cure IS worse!
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Re: Did you hear?
I guess I would be less mad if it were a person I know. However, it was someone I never met who is a poster here and told one of my relatives. 
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| Posted 11/19/07 6:36 PM |
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june262004
But I love the Snow!
Member since 5/05 15379 total posts
Name:
Kristin
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Re: Did you hear?
I'm PIZZED FOR YOU!
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| Posted 11/19/07 6:38 PM |
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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: Did you hear?
Posted by DebG
I guess I would be less mad if it were a person I know. However, it was someone I never met who is a poster here and told one of my relatives.
that is such b*lls!!!!
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| Posted 11/19/07 6:38 PM |
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SweetestOfPeas
J'taime Paris!
Member since 3/06 32345 total posts
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Re: Did you hear?
Posted by DebG
I guess I would be less mad if it were a person I know. However, it was someone I never met who is a poster here and told one of my relatives.
 OMG!!!!! what the 
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| Posted 11/19/07 6:39 PM |
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lvdolphins
My Loves!
Member since 5/05 46292 total posts
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Re: Did you hear?
Posted by DebG
I guess I would be less mad if it were a person I know. However, it was someone I never met who is a poster here and told one of my relatives.
YIKES!...Can you FM the person and just "Spill your guts".
Hopefully the person that didn't get the news from you, will be understanding.
Uuuuggghhhh I am so sorry this happened.
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| Posted 11/19/07 6:40 PM |
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Geraldine
Lovin Life........
Member since 5/07 2388 total posts
Name:
Geraldine
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Re: Did you hear?
I would just go ahead and flip out on them ..
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| Posted 11/19/07 6:41 PM |
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Gertyrae
Peace out Homies!
Member since 5/05 20046 total posts
Name:
Gerty ®
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Re: Did you hear?
Posted by DebG
I guess I would be less mad if it were a person I know. However, it was someone I never met who is a poster here and told one of my relatives.
Wow...that is totally wrong.....
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| Posted 11/19/07 6:56 PM |
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leighla
Support Cancer Research
Member since 5/05 16353 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Did you hear?
Okay...devil's advocate here.
Do you know the circumstance on how they told?
Maybe they assumed the other person knew and said "Isn't it great about Deb?" and then the other person said "Isn't what great?" and then they were stuck?
Or was it actual seeking out to beat you to the punch?
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| Posted 11/19/07 8:17 PM |
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Marcie
Complete Happiness :)
Member since 5/05 27789 total posts
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LOVE being a Mommy!
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Re: Did you hear?
Posted by leighla
Okay...devil's advocate here.
Do you know the circumstance on how they told?
Maybe they assumed the other person knew and said "Isn't it great about Deb?" and then the other person said "Isn't what great?" and then they were stuck?
Or was it actual seeking out to beat you to the punch?
I was thinking the same thing - but either way
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| Posted 11/19/07 8:19 PM |
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Diana1215
Living on a prayer!!!
Member since 10/05 29450 total posts
Name:
Diana
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Re: Did you hear?
Posted by Marcie
Posted by leighla
Okay...devil's advocate here.
Do you know the circumstance on how they told?
Maybe they assumed the other person knew and said "Isn't it great about Deb?" and then the other person said "Isn't what great?" and then they were stuck?
Or was it actual seeking out to beat you to the punch?
I was thinking the same thing - but either way
I was just going to write the same thing. Maybe the poster thought your family member already knew whatever it was that they told them.
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| Posted 11/19/07 8:30 PM |
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mka06
LIF Adult
Member since 8/06 1079 total posts
Name:
Melis
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Re: Did you hear?
Posted by Diana1215
Posted by Marcie
Posted by leighla
Okay...devil's advocate here.
Do you know the circumstance on how they told?
Maybe they assumed the other person knew and said "Isn't it great about Deb?" and then the other person said "Isn't what great?" and then they were stuck?
Or was it actual seeking out to beat you to the punch?
I was thinking the same thing - but either way
I was just going to write the same thing. Maybe the poster thought your family member already knew whatever it was that they told them.
I was thinking the same thing. Either way - it ***** for you to not be able to share the news yourself - and I am sorry that you were robbed of that! But, how I would handle this would depend on whether I felt it was malicious or not. I don't know the details of this situation, but if there is a good chance this person assumed your family member knew, I wouldn't hold it against them. If you think they were trying to beat you to the bunch - that's different.
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| Posted 11/19/07 9:06 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: Did you hear?
Posted by leighla
Okay...devil's advocate here.
Do you know the circumstance on how they told?
Maybe they assumed the other person knew and said "Isn't it great about Deb?" and then the other person said "Isn't what great?" and then they were stuck?
Or was it actual seeking out to beat you to the punch?
I was thinking the same thing, but I am guessing that you know this isn't the case, since you're a reasonable person and don't just get mad over nothing.
I'd let loose on the big mouth and then explain the situation to the person who is upset.
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| Posted 11/19/07 9:10 PM |
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Re: Did you hear?
Well, DH always says, "no idle chatter" - as part of his practice, but everyone succombs to it - thats a tough question to answer....
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| Posted 11/19/07 9:34 PM |
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