DH just doesn't understand

I'm pretty much convinced this iui didn't work. This was my 7th and last one before moving onto IVF. Today is 9dpiui and while I know it's still early, I've done this enough to figure out it's probably a BFN.

I completely lost it tonight. Hysterically crying, etc. DH looked at me like I was nuts. I confessed I've been POAS like crazy. He told me he doesn't want me to POAS anymore. I'm going to see my RE on Monday and he said let him tell me the results.

DH doesn't understand that is so much easier said than done. He's like don't obsess about it. ***??? This is very important. Why can't I obsess about it?

I'm just feeling very down today and having a pity party for myself. I swear I don't even want to go into work tomorrow. I just want to stay in bed and cry.

Re: DH just doesn't understand

I think we all go through swings of emotion...I am fine one day and then the next I am so upset that we have not been able to conceive...its horrible...I feel ur pain

Re: DH just doesn't understand

I've had very similar conversations with DH. I don't think it's possible for them to feel what we feel because they aren't experiencing exactly what we are.

Just hang in there a few more days. Maybe you should at least take a day or two off from POAS.

Re: DH just doesn't understand

I find it very hard for me not to obsess about it. It is what consumes me and probably will till I have a baby. My husband deals with it differently. He doesn't talk about it much and plays video games. I hate when people tell you how to feel or not to feel. You are not alone! Just hang in there.

Re: DH just doesn't understand

We've all been there with wanting to stay in bed and cry At least we have the weekend coming up- hopefully you will have some time to relax!

As for your DH, I think we all just have different ways of coping and it probably pains him to see you so sad!

In the meantime, 9dpo IS TOO EARLY to feel this way!!!!!!!!! That said. . I've totally been there and have felt down and out and a much earlier dpo ..... but in reality, you just don't know and should at least wait till 11/12dpo before you feel shot down for this cycle.

Re: DH just doesn't understand

My DH is exactly like yours....he always wants me to wait until the DAY i miss my period to POAS....He doesn't get that I am dreaming about it, thinking about it, stressing about it for two weeks before that. It is a "fight" we have every month. The way I see it is he doesn't have to have the period, he doesn't have to carry the baby (eventually), so I should be allowed to pee on a few sticks when I need to...This is a difficult journey and we need to do whatever we have to to keep us somewhat sane.... Good luck and baby dust to you!!!! Hang in there with DH!!!

Also, if you need to have a pity party for yourself, then you should do it! Get it all out... and then pick yourself up and move on to the next step...because, really, what else can us IF girls do???

Message edited 1/19/2011 10:50:20 PM.

Re: DH just doesn't understand

Re: DH just doesn't understand

Good luck!!

Re: DH just doesn't understand

i know how you feel.
Afer many meltdowns, my dh convinced me to wait for my pd to come before POAS..

so I have not POAS in a while...


I decided to go that route and although it was still painful...the lack of the BFN helped me a tad.

IF i were you Id hide my tests away from myself so you are not tempted.

Re: DH just doesn't understand

i know each of us has our own ways of coping each month.. but all i can tell you to help keep your sanity is to not POAS. don't have them in the house, don't buy them. Put it out of your mind until you go and have your beta bloodwork done.
It's the only way to stay sane.. really. trust me!

9dpiui is really too early to test, so all you're doing is setting yourself up for disappointment. Even if you are pregnant, it may not show up this early. Please don't put yourself through this.. it's only going to make you even more upset and get your dh upset that you're doing this to yourself.

I know.. i've done it myself. I decided the only way i would test is if it was 14 dpiui and/or i was late with AF. It's really helped me immensely deal with the waiting and the not knowing.

I know not everyone can or wants to do that.. but it really is the only way i was able to keep myself from going nuts every month (which sometimes happened anyway regardless ).