Continued Eating/Drinking issues with Jordan - need some advice!

I know I always post about this but really looking for some advice from BTDT moms. The issue is not that Jordan can't or won't drink milk from his sippy, he pretty much just won't do it at home, only at the babysitter's house. Her son is 5 months older than Jordan and there is also a four year old boy there. So, it's totally a case of wanting to be like the older boys, following their leads, etc. He is a DREAM with eating and drinking there. At home for the most part, he refuses the milk sippy - no issues with water. I go through literally 4 different sippies trying to get him to drink.
With his food, same thing, eats tremendously there - at home - usually plays around and lately - will swipe all the food off the tray - which drives me bonkers. I've yelled at him, which I hate, I've started taking the food away and ending the meal - which I hate doing because he doesn't eat so great to begin with and I hate the idea of him being hungry.

Just at my wit's end here. This is his 5th week on the sippy, btw. Again, not really an issue here that he refuses it, just at home!! Short of renting an older boy to be a good influence on him, I just don't know what to do anymore.

Please help!! TY!

Re: Continued Eating/Drinking issues with Jordan - need some advice!

Not right - not wrong but what I do is....

Get tough!
He doesn't eat what you give him then he doesn't eat - he'll learn to take what he gets.

Take the sippy he uses so well at the babysitters house...fill it up and leave it out for him. If he doesn't drink then it is what it is.

In my opinion, children function on instinct and when they need to eat they will - when they need to drink they will. Not want - need. I think he's playing you mama...if you don't stand strong then you'll have these battles continuously. Especially if he's cooperating for the babysitter. I say nip it in the bud.

Re: Continued Eating/Drinking issues with Jordan - need some advice!

Re: Continued Eating/Drinking issues with Jordan - need some advice!

I agree with Ang.... I had food issues with my first and took me 3 years for me to say, I don't care if you eat or not. I knew he wouldn't starve.
With us it was a control issue and ge wanted to see what he could get away with.
He try's to do it now at 5 but he will tell he just wants to go to bed hungry and i say ok. 2 minutes later he is asking for the dinner he thought was yuck

Re: Continued Eating/Drinking issues with Jordan - need some advice!

Honestly, Loey does NOT drink milk at all. BELIEVE ME, he's not suffering because of it! He's like 27 lbs!

He drinks lots and lots of water, nothing else. We don't offer juice or anything like that. The only other thing is smoothies (that I make).

As far as food, I tend to stick with things he loves. He ALWAYS eats more at daycare than at home, but that's okay. He also always eat the most for breakfast, less for lunch and least for dinner and we just deal with it because we don't like to make it an unpleasant experience.

I still don't feel like he's at the spot where I can say "you eat what we eat and that's it" so if he doesn't eat what I've made, I pull out a good standby that I know he'll eat, like homemade mac & cheese or baked, breaded chicken fingers (homemade too).

Re: Continued Eating/Drinking issues with Jordan - need some advice!

we went through this as well - badly.

at one point - i made a ped. appointment because i couldn't take it anymore.

emma would eat like a DREAM at the sitter - eat things she refused at home.... our sitter (nicole) told me that it happens and that it's just because she knows what she can get 'away' with at home...i didn't listen.

the ped. told me that if she was eating ONE good, full meal per day and picking at the rest, we're on the bonus plan. He has a son a few months older than Em, so he was speaking from pure experience, in addition to his own medical standpoint. i was in tears at this appointment, because her weight was going up in such SMALL increments.

i also spoke with my sister in law's sister who was a speech therapist with a specialty in food therapy (or whatever that's called). she gave me some suggestions and within a week, life was much, MUCH better in our home...

a few things we do/did:

1. ditched the high chair and booster - it would make Em more upset to have to stop 'moving' and settle down and eat. i'm serious - this kid NEVER EVER stops...EVER. Yes, we'll be fixing this behavior at some point - but it still works like a dream. she comes over to us when she wants food and will eat VERY well (and in restaurants and in public - eats VERY well in high chairs or boosters).

2. we leave her food out for her - if she's going to eat it later, when it's cold - FINE...enjoy (as long as it's something that won't spoil).

3. eat WITH her - it's important to show her what a 'normal' meal is like. so if emma's eating, so am I...even if it's just a snack for me.

4. last ditch effort, i have to eat what she's eating. show him that you'll eat what he is....if it's good enough for him - it's good enough for you.

5. honestly - GIVE IN to the sitter or the day care situation. if he's going to eat great there, get past it. Give the day care or sitter person the best meal you've got. Give them the veggies, let them test out the new foods. This worked really well for us and to this day, we still give Nicole any new foods we want to try...

6. Like MANY other women on this thread said - he's NOT going to starve. if he's hugry - he's going to eat...believe me. our ped KNEW how paranoid i was at that appointment and now, EVERY TIME he sees me - he shows me her 'weight growth curve'....and just at her 2 year, he said we couldn't ask for anything better....because i'm sure he remembers that appointment when i was in tears about her not eating for me...

7. This really should be number 1, but RELAX. You cannot go into every meal stressed....as he picks up on it. This was the single biggest change I personally had to make when feeding her. I would go into it all stressed, naseaus, worried about her reactions...once i TRIED HARD to relax on that front - it got much better. instead of yelling and screaming and me crying, i'd be like - make a paste out of the potatoes, that's fine. and ya know what? at one point, she'd start licking it off her fingers.....hey - she's eating it! :)

if i think of anything else - i'll update this....but we're here with you sweety!!!!

Re: Continued Eating/Drinking issues with Jordan - need some advice!

I just read this now, I just posted about same thing with my 11 month old. I'm so frustrated.

Re: Continued Eating/Drinking issues with Jordan - need some advice!

I find that DS eats better, and a better variety of foods at daycare as well.

He's like Loey too - breakfast is his best meal and they get worse as the day goes on because he's less hungry.

Like Jess posted - I find that he does better when we all sit down at the table together to eat. He wouldn't really eat anything until we started to do that, it helped a lot!

He will not let himself starve.

Hang in there!

Re: Continued Eating/Drinking issues with Jordan - need some advice!

Thank you so much, ladies for the hugs, the hints, the commiseration! I don't really feel that there is much that I am giving in on - I do not give him a bottle when he won't drink the sippy, he just doesn't drink. I have been giving him new or different stuff to try firsthand at the babysitter's house. Also, when we took away the daytime bottles and gave sippy, that was at the babysitter's too.

I spoke to the ped today who suggested 1-2 yogurts a day (I usually can get one into him,) cheerios and milk- feed him, make oatmeal with milk for breakfast. He said if he doesn't drink from the sippy, so be it. I'm annoyed because I forgot to ask him about chocolate syrup in the sippy as I know some of you do, but that just might create more of a monster!

He can't have cheese so that's a source of calcium we can't use but his other suggestions are ones I will try. The food he refuses typically is stuff he's had a million times before so it is definitely a control thing. He is with me until mid-August now, no more babysitter - so, he's going to have to learn quickly!

One thing we don't do, with DH's schedule, is sit down and eat together, which is bad. But, we will be able to do that this summer.

Thanks, friends