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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
Just curious to know what your opinion is about how we care and treat our elderly in this society lately.
Do you feel that the obligation for caring for our elders has decreased/increased/stayed the same as time as progressed?
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Posted 3/23/07 10:02 AM  |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
I definitley feel it's a cultural thing.
I know in my family, my abuelita lived with either my mom or one of her sisters, until she passed. There was no way they were letting her live by herself when she got older.
Now that my mother has become disabled, my whole plan has changed. I'm looking for homes closer to my parents. Some people have told me I'm taking too much on now. But I don't see how someone could NOT do it.
ETA: I just realized I didn't really answer your question. I don't think as many people feel obligated to care for their elderly as they used to.
There are more resources for elderly now then there ever were.
Message edited 3/23/2007 10:09:13 AM.
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| Posted 3/23/07 10:07 AM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
Unfortunately, I know more on this subject than I ever cared to when my father had a massive stroke at the age of 57.
I had to visit and interview rehab centers that you wouldn't want to put an animal in I've wrestled with the idea of assisted living and can't bare to bring myself to place him in one. I made tremendous personal sacrifices so I didn't have to, so far and would do it all over again.
In general, even able bodied and able minded older adults are not valued in our society. Our society treats them as if they have had their time, are no longer "usable", and are largely ignored by the younger generation for their contributions both in past and present.
This is terribly wrong of our society and unfortunately the "value of youth" and the expense of age and wisdom is spreading to other societies that once revered the aged.
Message edited 3/23/2007 10:09:58 AM.
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| Posted 3/23/07 10:08 AM |
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MrsMerlot
Unconditional Love
Member since 4/06 6005 total posts
Name:
Chrissy
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Re: Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
Posted by chikita315
I definitley feel it's a cultural thing.
I know in my family, my abuelita lived with either my mom or one of her sisters, until she passed. There was no way they were letting her live by herself when she got older.
Now that my mother has become disabled, my whole plan has changed. I'm looking for homes closer to my parents. Some people have told me I'm taking too much on now. But I don't see how someone could NOT do it.
ETA: I just realized I didn't really answer your question. I don't think as many people feel obligated to care for their elderly as they used to.
There are more resources for elderly now then there ever were.
My family is the same way and I completely agree with your statement that it's a cultural thing as well.
My grandmother (only elder alive on my mother's side) is regarded with such love, knowledge and respect. While she lives on her own and does a lot on her own, her six children care for her in ways I never would have thought to care for a person.
In Ricardo's family, it's my impression that they just pick up their elders and drop them off at an assisted living home or worse and "give" them away for someone else to care for. They hardly EVER visit their grandparents and constantly have an excuse for not doing so.
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| Posted 3/23/07 10:17 AM |
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SweetTooth
I'm a tired mommy!
Member since 12/05 20105 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
I don't know its hard to answer this question...
There are a lot more elderly people now then there ever were before because people are living longer. 50 years ago to live to 80 or 90 wasn't as common as it is today. I think as a whole, the elderly population is not treated as they should be. But I believe that with the "baby boomer" population aging, and in the next 10-20 years the elderly population will be HUGE, that they will have to be well taken care of. They will be living longer, and will be HEALTHIER in their old age, meaning they will be able to VOTE. Politicians will not be so fast to overlook such a huge voting population, because the fact will be the elderly will outnumber the non-elderly. So as horrible as it may sound, the care of the elderly will increase in the next few decades because of political motivation.
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| Posted 3/23/07 10:27 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
I can't say generally. I do think that our parent's generation cared for the elderly LESS, at least in my experience.
Both sets of my grandparents, when their health started to fail, were placed into nursing homes immediately. I can't even remember a time when any of them stayed with us in our home. We did visit them, I'm not too sure how regularly, but probably not as much as we should have.
Now, however, my father is quite ill. I would never in a million years dream of placing him in a nursing home. It would probably be easier for me to do so, but morally and ethically I CANNOT. Because my father is divorced, and my older brothers are fairly irresponsible, the choice was obvious - my home. He's staying with me, as I care for him, for as long as he needs, and I have absolutely NO regrets about it
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| Posted 3/23/07 10:33 AM |
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dpli
Daylight savings :)
Member since 5/05 13973 total posts
Name:
D
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Re: Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
I don't think the obligation has changed, but I do think people's response to the obligation has changed.
I don't think older people are valued as much as they were years ago, but I also see that we have a much larger population of older people now, since people are living longer. I also think that as people are having children at an older age, sometimes it is difficult for adults to be caring for elderly parents while they are still raising children.
Not all assisted living places are awful. My grandfather was living with a family member until it got to the point where they really couldn't care for him at home any longer. He was in a beautiful assisted living center. Unfortunately, the quality of the care centers are directly related to the type of insurance you have, or the amount of money you can pay for them.
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| Posted 3/23/07 10:38 AM |
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nrthshgrl
It goes fast. Pay attention.
Member since 7/05 57538 total posts
Name:
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Re: Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
I believe the obligation has increased as our parents ( ) are part of a baby boom generation and are living longer due to advancements in health care & geriatrics.
Unfortunately, with social security payments getting cut & long-term employees' pensions being reduced or eliminated, there is an even greater need for us to step up to the plate.
The plan was always that my grandmother would live with my parents when/if she could no longer take care of herself. Before moving her in, my parents sat down with the director of an elder care organization to discuss what to expect, arrangements that need to be made, etc.
The woman laid it out for them. My grandmother had advanced Alzheimer's & it would be a health risk for her to be in a house that was not alarmed and have 24 hour staff (awake).
I worry for my friend whose 60 year old mom has Alzheimer's. How she is going to take care of her kids, her mom & work is beyond me. Unfortunately for most of us, 2-family incomes are becoming more necessary.
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| Posted 3/23/07 10:51 AM |
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Bxgell2
Perfection
Member since 5/05 16438 total posts
Name:
Beth
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Re: Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
Unfortunately, I know more on this subject than I ever cared to when my father had a massive stroke at the age of 57.
I had to visit and interview rehab centers that you wouldn't want to put an animal in I've wrestled with the idea of assisted living and can't bare to bring myself to place him in one. I made tremendous personal sacrifices so I didn't have to, so far and would do it all over again.
In general, even able bodied and able minded older adults are not valued in our society. Our society treats them as if they have had their time, are no longer "usable", and are largely ignored by the younger generation for their contributions both in past and present.
This is terribly wrong of our society and unfortunately the "value of youth" and the expense of age and wisdom is spreading to other societies that once revered the aged.
 You are my personal inspiration
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| Posted 3/23/07 10:55 AM |
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cazhley
I ♥ cheesiness.
Member since 1/07 1429 total posts
Name:
Cassie
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Re: Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
As a whole population, I think the obligation has increased. There are more people in this age bracket than ever before. The numbers have increased.
People are living longer and certain diseases of aging are increasing.
Taking care of the elderly is also a cultural thing for me. My dad is elderly and my mom is aging. I would want them to live with me and with my sisters, if or when it is needed.
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| Posted 3/23/07 10:59 AM |
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baghag
:P
Member since 5/05 10278 total posts
Name:
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Re: Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
I think in general the attitude towards the elderly is declining, with some cultural exceptions.
A good assisted living facility is incredibly expensive. 
My grandparents wouldn't be able to afford good care here in the US, and they aren't poor. (Grandpa was a Dr, Grandma was a nurse.) They ended up going back to the Philippines, where their SS and pension will allow them to live in comfort.
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| Posted 3/23/07 11:00 AM |
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Tah-wee-ZAH
Kisses
Member since 5/05 15952 total posts
Name:
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Re: Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
Posted by Bxgell2
Posted by Tah-wee-ZAH
Unfortunately, I know more on this subject than I ever cared to when my father had a massive stroke at the age of 57.
I had to visit and interview rehab centers that you wouldn't want to put an animal in I've wrestled with the idea of assisted living and can't bare to bring myself to place him in one. I made tremendous personal sacrifices so I didn't have to, so far and would do it all over again.
In general, even able bodied and able minded older adults are not valued in our society. Our society treats them as if they have had their time, are no longer "usable", and are largely ignored by the younger generation for their contributions both in past and present.
This is terribly wrong of our society and unfortunately the "value of youth" and the expense of age and wisdom is spreading to other societies that once revered the aged.
You are my personal inspiration
And you are mine
We are living parallel lives.
And yes, I almost went to law school instead of teaching.
No one truly knows until they have to deal with it.
Unfortunately, what most people in our generation do not realize is...
Assisted living is NOT covered by regular health insurance. My father has an unbelievably good plan... it doesn't exist anymore. He was in the same union, same company from the 1960's to late 90's. Doctors' offices are shocked at how much he is covered for procedures. He is not covered for assisted living as it is not "nursing/medical care" it is considered custodial care. Unless your parents/grandparents have long term care insurance then assisted living's current rates are about 50K a year for a center on LI. that's right, 50K a year, out of pocket. Many baby boomers don't have enough money saved or have second mortages to pay for college, weddings etc.
Same with home health aids, they don't even make a livable wage but you will be charged by the agency more than any day care center you can imagine.
Add to that how many parents are divorced, live in another part of the country from their children, irresponsible siblings who don't want to help share the responsibility and the situation becomes very complicated and very stressful for the "sandwhich generation" those who must care for their kids and their parents.
If your parents go into an assisted living center early enough in their lifetime, what do you do when the money runs out?
As a previous poster said, as more and more baby boomers are aging, the gov't is being forced to reevaluate health care coverage.
It was very easy for my father, and his brothers, to place my grandmother in a nursing home in the 1980's and Medicare footed the bill. Not any longer as that practice alone can bankrupt our system.
The pendulum is swinging back. I know most of you have never thought about it, who wants to but it's something that we all need to plan for. More and more of us will be faced with caring for our parents in our own homes. And people wonder why I didn't consider a high-ranch or a split... they are not handi-capped accessible. And yes, that was a major consideration even though my father doesn't live with me currently.
People are living longer, but not better. The news just reported the other day, 1 in 8 people over 65 have Alzheimers and 1 in 2 over 85 have it. Of course, this doesn't include stroke and other dibilitating conditions.
Please find the time, and I know there is never a good time, to talk to your parents about LTC insurance and if they are financailly prepared for such. My father's info packet arrived in the mail 6 days after his stroke and believe it or not he was discussing this very subject with a friend of his only 24 hours before his stroke.
Many to all of the care givers out there, both professionally and within families.
Message edited 3/23/2007 11:57:21 AM.
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| Posted 3/23/07 11:51 AM |
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eroxgirl
My Loves
Member since 5/05 15697 total posts
Name:
Rebecca
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Re: Caring for the Elderly in our Society...
This is where being an only child will become difficult for me. My parents are divorced and I'm all they have. I could only take one of them in if they needed it - even if they were senile they'd kill each other if they had to live together again. They're both still young (57 and 61) and healthy thankfully, so this isn't something I need to be concerned with for a while, but obviously I should think about it and come up with a plan.
My grandparents all passed relatively young and in hospitals except for my paternal grandmother so this wasn't an issue for either of my parents, so I don't even have an example to follow.
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| Posted 3/23/07 12:12 PM |
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