Bullying so young

Not sure if it's really bullying or what, but my 4.5 yr old niece is pretty tough and outspoken. Cute girl, but she has a mouth already. She's one of 6 kids. Actually the 1st of my sister's second marriage so she was and is pretty spoiled. She likes to be the boss too. I love her, but like I said... She's tough. DS is not yet 4. They are 10 monts apart and have always been close. She likes to kinda baby him or tell him what to do a lot. He adores her.
She can be tough, but my my passive boy is a go with the flow type. He's a bit slower and in special Ed just for some dev delays. Doing well, but doesn't always seem to understand everything.
The other day we were together for my father's bday. My brother is now serious with a girl who has a 2.5 yr old boy. The 3 were together and my niece made it clear she didn't want to be with my son. She was leaving him out on purpose. Just made me so sad to watch for him. I know he's sensitive and usually doesn't understand, but when he said to me... "mommy, devan is not talking to me."
My heart broke. She wanted to be with the Andrew and not DS. She liked that he's the new baby in the family gatherings so I guess DS is out. Well, I guess for now till she feels like it.
Sorry so long, but I was so sad for DS. The older siblings were great with DS though and they kept him happy.

Re: Bullying so young

Aw, it's so sad to watch kids be mean to each other for whatever reason. Whenever me and my siblings and all our kids get together (the kids range in age from 16 to 2) there's always some conflicts like this. Inevitably one person gets left out or the others gang up on one. Seemingly for no reason and it tends to be a different kid every time.

We just try to tell the kid being left out to play with someone else and not sweat it.

Bullying so young

I would have expected your sister to speak up and tell her DD that everyone is included when playing. That kind of behavior doesn't fly in my opinion. My heart would've broken too if I had seen that. But I would've said something to my sister or directly to my niece.

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Re: Bullying so young

Thanks all. My father said some little things to her like... What about Mason?
I was there and then he played with the older siblings. I just know my sister and BIL. They always say comments like... Oh devan is the boss and laugh it off. I didn't even bother say it anything. When we are all together it's the same thing... My BIL sits in the den taking advantage or relaxing since there are 6 kids and they are always running around and my sister is running around with the kids, baby and having some wine so it's tough. It was the first time she did this to DS. She does get bossy, but someone will say something. This time it was just mean and if it happens again I will say something to my sister and BIL.

Re: Bullying so young

Unfortunately, it does start young - I was (am) havign a problem with one of Sean's classmates. I NEVER really say anything, but for months he was coming home every day about a specific kid "X was mean to me today" "X said I'm annoying" "X pushed me and told me to away that I'm stupid" "X told the other kids not to play w/ me" .......
I spoke to the director about it and apparently this child is a problem for most of the kids in the class (I though maybe there was an issue w/ my son)

She said at this age (4) they start to understand that their words are powerful
We always told them use your words, not your hands .......and now it's kind of backfiring b/c they are realizing that their words ARE more hurtful than a shove or slap

Both of my boys are strong personalities. My older one is more cautious and it takes him a while to warm up in unfamiliar situations but once he's comfortable, he's the boss - my little guy is right up in your face leading the pack from the minute he walks in the door........but I'd NEVER allow them to treat another child that way and laugh it off like "Oh Colin's the boss" ......Yeah, we joke around that we're proud of them for being "natural leaders" (aka: BOSSY) but not at the expense of another kid's feelings - and ABSOLUTELY NOT to get everyone else on board to leave another child out - I'd be all over that in a second if I heard anything like that out of either of their mouths!