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Boss and Coworker having Lunch
Do you think it is ok for a boss and coworker to go to lunch everyday?
Would you consider this a conflict of interest?
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Posted 9/11/15 10:53 PM  |
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Anxious3
LIF Infant
Member since 1/13 164 total posts
Name:
floof
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Boss and Coworker having Lunch
Depends on the office and the dynamics. I used to be very friendly with a boss of mine, we would eat lunch together a lot, but it was innocent (at least, to us it was).
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| Posted 9/11/15 11:07 PM |
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2BadSoSad
LIF Adult
Member since 8/12 6791 total posts
Name:
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
My boss and I are really good friends. Ive worked for her for 10 years. We do tons of stuff together, but we are very good at separating personal and business.
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| Posted 9/11/15 11:15 PM |
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Boss and Coworker having Lunch
I don't see it as a big deal, depending on the industry, dynamic, etc.
It's better than having a strained working relationship.
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| Posted 9/11/15 11:36 PM |
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alli3131
Peanut is here!!!!!!
Member since 5/09 18388 total posts
Name:
Allison
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Boss and Coworker having Lunch
My boss is my friend. He recently became my boss when they fired the old one. So I wouldn't think it's strange.
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| Posted 9/12/15 6:06 AM |
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Naturalmama
Love my boys!!
Member since 1/12 3548 total posts
Name:
Christine
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Boss and Coworker having Lunch
I am very good friends with my boss. We sometimes even go out for drinks or dinner on the weekends or after work- maybe once every 6 weeks or so. As long as one can separate the two relationships and that person is not treated differently in the office, I don't see a problem with it.
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| Posted 9/12/15 7:56 AM |
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NervousNell
Just another chapter in life..
Member since 11/09 54921 total posts
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..being a mommy and being a wife!
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
I've been with my boss for 13 years and over 3 companies. We are pretty much great friends after all these years.
I wouldn't think twice about having lunch with him daily if we were always in the same office. ..but I only see him about 1-2 times per week
Message edited 9/12/2015 9:10:37 AM.
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| Posted 9/12/15 8:59 AM |
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
Thanks everyone :)
I think the conflict of interest is when it turns into favoritism and the boss shares things with the coworker they go to lunch with that they really shouldn't about other coworkers.
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| Posted 9/12/15 9:00 AM |
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chilltocam
LIF Adult
Member since 11/11 9141 total posts
Name:
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
Posted by afternoondelight828
Thanks everyone :)
I think the conflict of interest is when it turns into favoritism and the boss shares things with the coworker they go to lunch with that they really shouldn't about other coworkers.
Yes. In my previous job, the boss and a co-worker went to the gym everyday at lunch. There was definitely favoritism and it caused a lot of resentment within the office. And for the co-worker, as much as he was a favorite of the boss, the rest of us (who were a pretty close group) kept our distance because no one wanted to be around him and possibly say something that would get back to the boss. It made for a really bad work environment
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| Posted 9/12/15 9:13 AM |
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
Posted by afternoondelight828
Thanks everyone :)
I think the conflict of interest is when it turns into favoritism and the boss shares things with the coworker they go to lunch with that they really shouldn't about other coworkers.
How would anyone know what is being shared at their private lunch?
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| Posted 9/12/15 11:16 AM |
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Blubtrflygrl
LIF Adolescent
Member since 5/15 609 total posts
Name:
allison
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Posted by afternoondelight828
Thanks everyone :)
I think the conflict of interest is when it turns into favoritism and the boss shares things with the coworker they go to lunch with that they really shouldn't about other coworkers.
How would anyone know what is being shared at their private lunch?
Here we go LOL. This stuff again.
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| Posted 9/12/15 12:42 PM |
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
It's a valid question in my eyes, as if the colleague who is lunching with the boss goes back to the other coworkers (like the OP) and tells everyone what that the boss is discussing other coworkers, than that is something that would bother me for sure. I'm not sure how that could be addressed though.
If coworkers are assuming this happens, that's a different story. As many stated before, they have nice friendships with bosses and are able to separate things.
Op asked a question and sometimes you need clarity.
Am I interpreting what you said incorrectly? Aren't we cool blubtrfly?
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| Posted 9/12/15 3:24 PM |
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LSP2005
Bunny kisses are so cute!
Member since 5/05 19461 total posts
Name:
L
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
It's a valid question in my eyes, as if the colleague who is lunching with the boss goes back to the other coworkers (like the OP) and tells everyone what that the boss is discussing other coworkers, than that is something that would bother me for sure. I'm not sure how that could be addressed though.
If coworkers are assuming this happens, that's a different story. As many stated before, they have nice friendships with bosses and are able to separate things.
Op asked a question and sometimes you need clarity.
Am I interpreting what you said incorrectly? Aren't we cool blubtrfly?
lol, I don't think the was meant for you, but rather the op. A week or two ago op and blunterfly had a friendly disagreement over how the op sees everything other people do (her sister in that case) as a potential slight to her and her family.
Fwiw, I have been on both sides of this issue. I had a boss that I would go out to lunch with and the roomers were merciless. It made me feel horrible and we really were just friends. I had another boss at a different job that excluded me, and it felt bad but differently. I am not sure that there is a right or wrong answer to the Op's question.
Message edited 9/12/2015 4:10:58 PM.
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| Posted 9/12/15 4:10 PM |
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Lara&Aidansmommy
For mom i miss u ETC ILOVEU
Member since 3/07 13921 total posts
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
I was with my place of work for 10 years i was friendly with my boss but it was a big no no to go lunch together. Even at company picnics the bosses could talk to us and interact but when it came to sitting down to eat they couldnt eat with us. Whatever lol
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| Posted 9/12/15 4:13 PM |
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
Posted by LSP2005
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
It's a valid question in my eyes, as if the colleague who is lunching with the boss goes back to the other coworkers (like the OP) and tells everyone what that the boss is discussing other coworkers, than that is something that would bother me for sure. I'm not sure how that could be addressed though.
If coworkers are assuming this happens, that's a different story. As many stated before, they have nice friendships with bosses and are able to separate things.
Op asked a question and sometimes you need clarity.
Am I interpreting what you said incorrectly? Aren't we cool blubtrfly?
lol, I don't think the was meant for you, but rather the op. A week or two ago op and blunterfly had a friendly disagreement over how the op sees everything other people do (her sister in that case) as a potential slight to her and her family.
Fwiw, I have been on both sides of this issue. I had a boss that I would go out to lunch with and the roomers were merciless. It made me feel horrible and we really were just friends. I had another boss at a different job that excluded me, and it felt bad but differently. I am not sure that there is a right or wrong answer to the Op's question.
Ahh I gotcha. :)
I've felt out of the loop when it came to male bosses (as I was never invited to play poker, smoke cigars or watch a game) so I can see where being left out and feeling like others get an advantage could be hard.
My current boss is female and has to be the best ever. She walks the perfect line of being your boss but also being friendly. I think you need a good balance and two people willing to keep it professional.
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| Posted 9/12/15 4:21 PM |
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KarenK122
The Journey is the Destination
Member since 5/05 4431 total posts
Name:
Karen
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Boss and Coworker having Lunch
I worked in a very rule driven old boys school investment bank and we had no problem eating lunch with our bosses. I think I ate lunch with my boss almost every single day whether at a restaurant or in his office. Sometimes it was just me, sometimes it was other co-workers as well. They did have a rule though about fraternizing outside work. If we went to happy hour or out for drinks they were not suppose to come.
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| Posted 9/12/15 6:14 PM |
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hmm
Sweet
Member since 1/14 8016 total posts
Name:
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
Posted by afternoondelight828
Thanks everyone :)
I think the conflict of interest is when it turns into favoritism and the boss shares things with the coworker they go to lunch with that they really shouldn't about other coworkers.
I don't believe it should be done on a regular basis. It is very hard for people to keep that professional friendship boundary.
At my last job a supervisor (not the top boss) but I still think it fits. Was VERY good friends with 2 people on the team, going out to lunch, clubs etc. The line was always blurred and the supervisor would tell "her friends" things she should not have (about other workers). My 2 co worker also got away with too much, slacking off, not completing tasks, talking over the supervisor in meetings and taking over. My fellow coworkers hated the dynamic, I disliked it as well.
to answer, yes IMO it is a conflict of interest esp when done all the time. Unless the BOSS sits at the lunch table with everyone.
Message edited 9/12/2015 7:17:26 PM.
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| Posted 9/12/15 6:16 PM |
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sometimesmommy
Always in my heart.....
Member since 11/06 6686 total posts
Name:
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Boss and Coworker having Lunch
If its done on a regular basis without others it is a problem. I know from experience.
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| Posted 9/12/15 6:24 PM |
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BabyBearA
LIF Adult
Member since 7/11 1254 total posts
Name:
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Boss and Coworker having Lunch
I've been very close to a few supervisors. Did they tell me things? Yes, but it was never anything that gave me a lead at work and I would never have said anything to anyone else if they needed to vent. In the office they never showed any favoritism. I still talk to them and go to them for advise.
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| Posted 9/12/15 6:53 PM |
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
Posted by EatingMyVeggies
Posted by afternoondelight828
Thanks everyone :)
I think the conflict of interest is when it turns into favoritism and the boss shares things with the coworker they go to lunch with that they really shouldn't about other coworkers.
How would anyone know what is being shared at their private lunch?
The coworker says things to other coworkers that they would only know if the boss told them. It also seems that the boss knows things that they would otherwise not know that are told to this coworker.
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| Posted 9/12/15 8:06 PM |
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
My current boss is female and has to be the best ever. She walks the perfect line of being your boss but also being friendly. I think you need a good balance and two people willing to keep it professional.
ITA with this. Many bosses do not do that though and don't know where that line should be.
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| Posted 9/12/15 8:07 PM |
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Re: Boss and Coworker having Lunch
Posted by hmm
Posted by afternoondelight828
Thanks everyone :)
I think the conflict of interest is when it turns into favoritism and the boss shares things with the coworker they go to lunch with that they really shouldn't about other coworkers.
I don't believe it should be done on a regular basis. It is very hard for people to keep that professional friendship boundary.
At my last job a supervisor (not the top boss) but I still think it fits. Was VERY good friends with 2 people on the team, going out to lunch, clubs etc. The line was always blurred and the supervisor would tell "her friends" things she should not have (about other workers). My 2 co worker also got away with too much, slacking off, not completing tasks, talking over the supervisor in meetings and taking over. My fellow coworkers hated the dynamic, I disliked it as well.
to answer, yes IMO it is a conflict of interest esp when done all the time. Unless the BOSS sits at the lunch table with everyone.
Exactly the situation I am speaking about and is why I think it might be a confict. Thanks :)
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| Posted 9/12/15 8:09 PM |
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