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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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birthday party spinoff
i sent out an email to several friends this week inviting them to go bowling for my birthday.
i don't plan on paying for them - i do plan on paying for myself.
is this selfish or tacky? should i be paying the cost of the lanes, shoes, and beer since technically i invited them?
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Posted 3/21/08 1:38 PM  |
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leighdvm
My golden boys!
Member since 3/06 4419 total posts
Name:
Michele
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Re: birthday party spinoff
From your posts, you don't strike me as a selfish person at all! 
To be honest though, I wouldn't invite people out to celebrate my birthday. If they invited me out, great, but I couldn't be the one to do the inviting. I can't really explain why....Maybe it's kinda like I would feel like I'm putting people on the spot when they a) don't want to go; b) don't have the money to go, etc. KWIM?
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| Posted 3/21/08 1:51 PM |
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Domino
Always My Miracle
Member since 9/05 9924 total posts
Name:
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Re: birthday party spinoff
my brother just had a bowling party and did evite to everyone.. I think if he had posted how much it cost it would have been a lot less confusing considering there were people that thought the bowling was "free." Since he was my brother i had asked him in advance but let me tell you...the cost of bowling sure went up and after the food and the "lane attendant tip" it wound up being about 40 a person.
IMHO, however, if it hadnt been my brother I probably would have felt a little put out with the cost.
P.S. i never let the birthday person pay. Their cost is always split among the people that are there.
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| Posted 3/21/08 1:51 PM |
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pinkiegirl
Member since 7/07 2160 total posts
Name:
Dana
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Re: birthday party spinoff
I think you can just tell people how much it's going to be so that they don't assume that since you invited them they will have to pay for themselves.
Sometimes people do assume that if you're inviting them that the person who invited them will pay, but I don't think it's tacky to tell people ahead of time how much it costs so they know they'll have to pay!
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| Posted 3/21/08 1:57 PM |
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JessInCA
live laugh love
Member since 8/06 5082 total posts
Name:
Jess
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Re: birthday party spinoff
Not selfish or tacky, and I wouldn't pay for all their expenses either. If I were invited to go bowling, I would expect to pay for those things myself.
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| Posted 3/21/08 2:00 PM |
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bird382
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Member since 7/07 1712 total posts
Name:
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Re: birthday party spinoff
If I got an email from a friend that said "hey, let's go bowling this weekend for my birthday!" I would not expect that my friend would pay for my way. Not for a second.
If anything, since it's your birthday, your friends should cover the cost of your shoes, drinks, etc.
You just want to hang out with your friends, right? Not everything needs to be a hosted event.
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| Posted 3/21/08 2:02 PM |
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Ophelia
she's baaccckkkk ;)
Member since 5/06 23378 total posts
Name:
remember, when Gulliver traveled....
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Re: birthday party spinoff
Posted by JessInCA
Not selfish or tacky, and I wouldn't pay for all their expenses either. If I were invited to go bowling, I would expect to pay for those things myself.
seriously...we are not 5 years old here.
it's how we do every party.
call me what you want...my friends and I have FUNNNNN!!!!!!!! and nobody talks smack about me on a message board either (I know..I have spyware on all their computers  )
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| Posted 3/21/08 2:04 PM |
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mrswask
Pookie Love
Member since 5/05 20229 total posts
Name:
Michal
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Re: birthday party spinoff
I think you should clarify price in another email - if someone sent me out an email inviting me somewhere for their birthday, I'd probably assume they were paying.
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| Posted 3/21/08 2:09 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: birthday party spinoff
Posted by leighdvm
From your posts, you don't strike me as a selfish person at all! |
| Posted 3/21/08 3:00 PM |
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LFitzy79
can hardly wait
Member since 5/05 2650 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: birthday party spinoff
if I got an email inviting me to go bowling for someone's birthday, I'd assume that the lanes were paid for, but I would buy a few rounds of beer and bring a gift.
if I got an email seeing if I was up to go bowling with a bunch of other people, I'd assume everyone was paying for themselves.
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| Posted 3/21/08 3:09 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: birthday party spinoff
Posted by LFitzy79
if I got an email inviting me to go bowling for someone's birthday, I'd assume that the lanes were paid for, but I would buy a few rounds of beer and bring a gift.
if I got an email seeing if I was up to go bowling with a bunch of other people, I'd assume everyone was paying for themselves.
would you feel differently if the email was sent by a friend of the birthday person, as opposed to being sent by the birthday person themself?
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| Posted 3/21/08 3:13 PM |
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LFitzy79
can hardly wait
Member since 5/05 2650 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: birthday party spinoff
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by LFitzy79
if I got an email inviting me to go bowling for someone's birthday, I'd assume that the lanes were paid for, but I would buy a few rounds of beer and bring a gift.
if I got an email seeing if I was up to go bowling with a bunch of other people, I'd assume everyone was paying for themselves.
would you feel differently if the email was sent by a friend of the birthday person, as opposed to being sent by the birthday person themself?
yes, I would feel differently.
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| Posted 3/21/08 3:18 PM |
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headoverheels
s'il vous plaît
Member since 6/07 42079 total posts
Name:
LB
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Re: birthday party spinoff
Posted by LFitzy79
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by LFitzy79
if I got an email inviting me to go bowling for someone's birthday, I'd assume that the lanes were paid for, but I would buy a few rounds of beer and bring a gift.
if I got an email seeing if I was up to go bowling with a bunch of other people, I'd assume everyone was paying for themselves.
would you feel differently if the email was sent by a friend of the birthday person, as opposed to being sent by the birthday person themself?
yes, I would feel differently.
ok thanks i really was just curious, i am sorry if it came off snotty 
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| Posted 3/21/08 3:20 PM |
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bomb-blast
bye bye
Member since 11/06 1327 total posts
Name:
Leo
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Re: birthday party spinoff
I think as long as you inform people as to what to expect, prior to arriving at the party, then there is nothing wrong with it. You give them the info and they have the option of attending or not.
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| Posted 3/21/08 3:22 PM |
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LFitzy79
can hardly wait
Member since 5/05 2650 total posts
Name:
Lauren
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Re: birthday party spinoff
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by LFitzy79
Posted by headoverheels
Posted by LFitzy79
if I got an email inviting me to go bowling for someone's birthday, I'd assume that the lanes were paid for, but I would buy a few rounds of beer and bring a gift.
if I got an email seeing if I was up to go bowling with a bunch of other people, I'd assume everyone was paying for themselves.
would you feel differently if the email was sent by a friend of the birthday person, as opposed to being sent by the birthday person themself?
yes, I would feel differently.
ok thanks i really was just curious, i am sorry if it came off snotty
it's ok, it didn't come snotty, I hope it didn't seem that way.
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| Posted 3/21/08 3:26 PM |
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HoneyBadger
YourWorstNightmare.
Member since 10/06 15979 total posts
Name:
BahBahBlackJeep
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Re: birthday party spinoff
I would expect to pay for myself. I would also make it a point of buying them a beer or something though.
For clarity - the drink would not be their gift!
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| Posted 3/21/08 3:28 PM |
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chikita315
Love
Member since 8/06 7945 total posts
Name:
M-lo
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Re: birthday party spinoff
If I was invited, I would expect to pay for myself since that is how 95% of those things are now.
However, if I was hosting, I would pay for the lanes.
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| Posted 3/21/08 3:34 PM |
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kahlua716
3 Girls for Me!
Member since 8/07 12475 total posts
Name:
Keri
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Re: birthday party spinoff
I would assume I was paying for myself and expect to be chipping in to pay for the birthday girl/boy.
We are going into the city tomorrow night to celebrate DHs bday. We invited people to join us- but there's no specific plan- he just wants to bar hop and we aren't going to dinner.
I hope people aren't expecting us to pay for the whole night!
(It's pretty much just his brothers and their SOs going, so it should be pretty clear)
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| Posted 3/21/08 4:10 PM |
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NASP09
...
Member since 6/05 6030 total posts
Name:
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Re: birthday party spinoff
Posted by JessInCA
Not selfish or tacky, and I wouldn't pay for all their expenses either. If I were invited to go bowling, I would expect to pay for those things myself.
ITA.
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| Posted 3/21/08 10:24 PM |
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BaroqueMama
Chase is one!
Member since 5/05 27530 total posts
Name:
me
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Re: birthday party spinoff
I really, really think the answer will differ based on the group of friends and what they traditionally do.
With our friends, the birthday person is the one to decide what we're doing, but everyone pays their own way while splitting the cost of the birthday person.
Since we all know each other's financial situations in our group of friends, we would never pick something that we knew was going to be out of the price range for anyone. We almost always go to the same place for everyone's birthday every year. It's kind of a tradition. And basically, we all pay it forward when the next birthday comes around.
I would never expect my friends to pay for me at their birthday celebration and vice versa.
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| Posted 3/21/08 10:33 PM |
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Christine
2nd verse same as the 1st
Member since 5/05 15287 total posts
Name:
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Re: birthday party spinoff
I think it depends how it was phrased...
You're Invited to My Birthday Bowling Party - I would think the bowling portion is hosted.
Let's GTG at XYZ Lanes for my birthday - I would expect to pay for the bowling.
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| Posted 3/21/08 11:34 PM |
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