Birthday parties/ Sibling etiquette

I'm in need of some objective advice on this. We booked LO's party at a place where the count is only 15 kids in the package, we got a good deal. If we go over the 15, we have to pay per kid and then it becomes costly (more kids, more adults, more food we have to order for adults, etc.) We are inviting our LO's best friends and the toddlers that she has frequent playdates with and our best friend's kids. Now we only have 5 invites left and here's the problem: DH has 3 cousins who have 3-4 kids each. However, they range in age from 1- 12. DH says to invite only the toddlers and the youngest kids but not their older siblings over 6 yrs because its not an age appropriate party for the older kids and they probably won't even care since we don't get invited to some of their parties for whatever reason. My honest opinion: This party is really for toddlers and young kids, any kid over 5 or 6 would probably be bored out of their minds because of the party and the activities planned. BUT I don't want to offend anyone and I feel it's rude and may be difficult for some parents to come with one kid and not the other/s. If we would've had the party at a rental hall type place, this wouldn't be a problem because I would just invite everyone but it was too expensive to go that route and we couldn't have it at our house. What would you do? Word the invitation a certain way? Not sure what to do here. TIA

Message edited 9/9/2014 11:15:16 AM.

Birthday parties/ Sibling etiquette

I would just invite the toddlers. If anyone calls and asks why the other kids weren't invited, I would be honest and say that it's not an age appropriate party for them and you don't want them to be bored/unhappy

Birthday parties/ Sibling etiquette

Normally I would say only invite the toddlers, however, since this is your family, that changes it. I don't think you can invite some of the siblings and not others, sorry.

Birthday parties/ Sibling etiquette

I say invite toddlers only. Even if it is family. . I would call your in laws and explain that it's a toddler party and the older kids may be bored but you'd love for them to bring the younger. Think of it this way if your 12 year old nephew/niece had an age appropriate party with mostly friends would your toddler be invited? I honestly think it's fine and I doubt anyone is offended. If you do invite them all maybe the older kids can count as adults so you only have to worry about food.

Message edited 9/9/2014 1:33:54 PM.

Re: Birthday parties/ Sibling etiquette

I would have a family party separate from the friend party. Call the family and explain the friend party issue. But be prepared for people being upset. This topic has come up before. The consensus then was to suck it up and invite everyone. I would invite everyone.

Re: Birthday parties/ Sibling etiquette

I've been not invited to a party because someone decided my kids were "too young"(age difference between our youngest & their youngest is less than a year, our oldest & their oldest are 2-3 years apart).

While I get that my kids are the youngest in the family batch... it was insensitive.

After being really ticked off at that person (and hearing that every other family member with kids was invited), we (actually my DH) brought it up with the mom

IMO, you can't split up siblings for family parties. I can't even imagine explaining to my older that he wasn't invited to something his sister was invited to... I'd RSVP "no".

We make sure we invite all family OR all friends if we have a space limit.

This year, we didn't invite any neighbors, because we have 10 kids who are neighbors (and couldn't fit them all), or classmates (20something).

Re: Birthday parties/ Sibling etiquette

Ugh! We had this issue. DS's 3rd birthday was at a kid Gymboree type place. Small slides, ball pit, etc. I invited my niece and nephew who were 5 and 2. Now my sister has 6 kids. Two 14 year old girls and a DS 12 and DS who's 9. We invited their two youngest and I told my sister after the party we are having family back to grill, etc.

I also want to mention for my older DS's 5th birthday at a sports place I invited everyone, but the two older girls didn't go. THe 9 and 12 year old boys went and of course didn't do anything, but play basketball in another room.

So, when my sister got the invite she got all annoyed that it was the two little ones and I said the big ones would be bored and would come back after to the house for tons of food, play in our pool, etc. Well, who knows if she was that insulted or what, but none of the older kids came and when I asked my sister if they're coming over after she said they all had plans. One went away to a friends for the night.
So ridiculous. So, after all that I say do what you want, but maybe mention about having the older kids over after. I understand everyone at a house, but at a little kids place I don't think it's necessary.

Re: Birthday parties/ Sibling etiquette

Re: Birthday parties/ Sibling etiquette

Re: Birthday parties/ Sibling etiquette

Thanks for the suggestions and advice, it was all helpful

Message edited 9/9/2014 4:08:41 PM.

Birthday parties/ Sibling etiquette

I have this issue all the time, I hate including my sister in laws older kids because they get bored and it ups my count for no reason bc they don't participate and actually complain about it plus my little ones are not invited to their parties bc they are "too little"! BUt I have sucked it up in the past and just included them bc I felt I couldn't invite the younger one and not the older ones. I would just exclude my sister in laws kids all together and have them all over for cake on DD's actual bday except that my DD"s cousins on my side of the family are her bff's and I cant invite one side and not the other. Sigh. its always so complicated. If you can avoid inviting all the cousins just do that and have them over for cake on your kid's actual bday . This year I am having DD"s party at Gymboree so the kids over 5 aren't included in the count and they cant participate so I have no choice but to word the invite accordingly- but otherwise I would include all or none.